Dearest,
These are troubled times we are experiencing.
Therefore my goal is to help one another, whenever possible.
So, I picked Self Esteem.
There are three ways to see Self Esteem...
1 ) The way we see ourselves.
2 ) The way others see us.
3 ) The way we think that others see us.
Those three views on Self Esteem
Ought to collide with eachother at times.
Our self esteem starts to be formed at an early age.
Our parents are responsible shape that aspect while they are educating us
That shapes
The way we see ourselves.
While we grow and watch our colleagues and parents.
Thus, we are facing and seeing
The way others see us
(through their actions, sayings and opinions)
Lastly, we can have a third perception on self esteem :
The way we think that others see us,
and this one can be either right or very wrong.
(means that it can be distorted easily)
It is VERY IMPORTANT to take Self Esteem nearly at heart.
Otherwise, growing up with a poor self esteem can be devastating.
Likewise, growing up with a overly high self esteem can be troubling, too.
POV :
I grew up with a poor self esteem, I admit it.
The perception I had of the world and of my future was not bright
When one grows up with a poor self esteem, he or she can tend to isolate
Lose security and value in his or herself.
And all the rest came along (can be read in other posts), as you know.
But those least positive points are not
What I want to teach or bring highlight upon.
The bottom line is to pay attention to these situations
For your loved one's sake and health!
A bruised self esteem can give place for other problems such as...
- Anxiety
- Lack of Security
- Depression
- Eating Disorders
- For one to become a bully or bullied.
- Other health disorders and mental illness
- Self Injury
- Suicidal thoughts.
- Risk of Suicide.
We have to let our children and teens know the rights and wrongs
Know tolerance, acceptance and other essencial values
Such as sharing, and be aware of causes.
Why ?
Because our children will be adults in the future
They will be the adults of the FUTURE.
And I (as you probably not as well) do not wish that
Our grown ups become sick or imitate our mistakes.
Due to watching us neglecting them...
No, we can not allow that to happen!
Speaking of that...here is a video on the matter.
NOTE : We need to care for our beloveds
Each and every day.
Even if we are too stressed or upset to attend them.
Let him/her know that you are there.
I read a really interesting email some days ago from a friend.
I no longer have it in my inbox, but it was about being there.
It was a beautiful history about a father and a young son.His parents weren't able to be there for him :His mother and father were working until late to sustain their house and pay their bills.
They could barely see eachother : He was early at schoolAnd his parents would return late from work, By that time the child would be sleepingTo attend another day of school on the following day.
So...his father had an idea.
Late at night when he arrived home from work,
He would make a tiny noose in his son's bedsheets
and kiss his forehead, every night.
That way, the child would know that his father was there.
Bottom line :
On this tiny history,
The noose would represent a tiny but meaningful gesture of being there
And a sign of connection between both.
We do not need a lot of words,
We need (big or small) actions
That come out from the heart, with kindness and love, instead.
POV :
To heal broken / bruised self esteem
It takes time...specially if you still
do not know what was the cause.
So... I will demonstrate some steps here
(I have been through this journey already
and still am following some of these steps)
1ST STEP : IDENTIFY
In this cases we have to look back to find the cause
Sometimes, seeking for help can be/is advised.
(For example :
A psychologist/councelor or hypnotherapy)
We can name it «the root» problem,
Because we are talking about the possible cause or causes
(Can be multiple) that led to self esteem problems.
2ND STEP : RECOGNIZE / TAKE ACTION
Linked with step number one it is really important
And it is a great victory recognizing and be willing to improve
Let no one take that precious victory away from you
You are doing an effort to be a better person.
NOTE : It can be the other way around too...
1ST STEP : RECOGNIZE / TAKE ACTION
2ND STEP : IDENTIFY
3TH STEP : BE PATIENT.
By rushing everything, we will not be attaining better results
Or quicker results. For an effective treatment to happen changes must occur.
Bad habits must be broken!
Waiting is actually PART of the process!
POV :
In my therapy I was rushing and negleting
My well being and my goals. It had done me no good.
Due to economical reasons, I have found myself abandoning treatment
Specially when I was maybe needing it the most.
(For more information you can check
Relationships - Expectations)
But it was solved by searching for other solutions/alternatives
Eventually the place where I was receiving treatment
I had no longer to pay, because it was decided to be like so.
What I want to explain with this...
You do not have to live like that.
I know that you are a wonderful human being
And the faster you go seek help
You will for sure feel the benefits, eventually.
4TH STEP : Writing out or Speak it out.
It definately helps a lot. I might post the complete POV of some times of crisis
I will think about it , for the time being.
As far as I concern, I agree on this point to speak out to someone you trust
Specially, a loved one who you feel that you can talk freely, openly
Without thinking if you are bothering or not.
From experience , I speak with my mother.
Difficult times brought us closer and our daughter/mother relationship stronger.
So , out of a difficult situation, I can see and now sense improvement.
Not everything is dark, dim and other similar names .
I am satisfied with this because previously,
All that I could see was darkness, like a dark cloud in front of me.
That has changed now and that cloud has dissapeared.
I wish from the bottom of my heart that you are able to improve too
And find your path.
NOTE : I do not mind sharing my personal story or my journey.
Reason ? I want to help out the best I can.
I want you to know that you are not alone on this.
I want you to know that there is a light, there is a hope, there is a way.
