Tatoos, Piercings and Modifications

Everyone has a diferent opinion on this
I do like certain tattoos in some areas of the body
And personally prefer tattoos with meaning ;

- If I could I would do one tattoo of the symbol "Life"
On my left wrist, a place where harm was made
Even near that spot...plus I have some meanings for it.
More than that... I thought of wings (i'm doubting it now)
And a Key (L) (still with it in my mind (L))

- I do like and support the tattoos
With meaning/message in it.
I do think it is beautiful some, as art.
There are true masterpieces out there! :)

Piercings...yeah I like some.
But for instance I don't imagine getting anything except my ears.
Not into other types of body modification ;

Hair dyes, I like them .
If I could dye my hair any collour,
I would choose a light brown
Otherwise, I'm alright with my natural hair collour
I just dislike my hair length at the moment
But it'll grow out I guess...

Yet freedom of expression...
It is your life, your choices
As long as you are happy and okay with that
It's fine by me.
God bless ^^

Music XII

That song is old...
Brings me back to good times.



I imagine listening to this one when I travel :)



I started to recently really like this band :o
Fireflight

Suicide - Warning Signs

With searching and knowing too,
- Giving away possessions

- Mentioning death or suicide in any way
(speaking, writing)

- Having destructive behaviors
(for example self harm, bullying others)

- Preparing a will or suicide letter

- Sudden change in behavior

Note : Mental/Health disorders can lead more to suicide
Than people with normal condition....

Self Esteem II

Family was supposed to help isn't it?
So yesterday night I was already messed up
With those words between me and my sister;
She eventually left and we were to meet again
Besides my grandma
and brother on Sunday are to go to the movies.
I don't feel excited at all, to be honest.

My mom found me almost crying
She decided to ask me what was wrong
So I explained her...
(She used to be so understanding)

I explained how things aren't going exactly
Like what I expected...and like they were told.
I said I, more than anything want to furfill my dreams
Which I don't believe it'll be here.
She said that besides needing the money

I'ld need somewhere to stay and so,
Permitions, vacations...
So don't expect to be there in less time than a year

After that I put my head on the pillow
And what I was saving the whole day inside of me got out
She said "do not bring yourself down"
Petted my head and left.

Self Esteem I

...I thought that things
Were finally going alright ;
And that work would be payed.
Instead she likes to take me to places
Just to see things and such

Then dinner. I don't want to sound ungrateful
In fact, let's say my expectations are broken...
I could have gone home
And have dinner with my "family"
She (sis) says she is
...Trying to get me out of my "vegetable" type of life.
Then I had some other things
That I had to hear and shut up...

She says it is for my own good
And that she is trying to help me ;
Is it? I hear things like :

"You're not entering in the car right ,
You're looking like a corcunda!".

"You're not walking
with your feet straight..."
(Guess what? I was born like this...)

"You're too shy
and embaraced towards people" ;

Believe me , it hurts.
Yesterday we went to the hair salon
Because she wanted to get her hair done
I was trying to be outside
But my sister turned back and told me to get in.
My self esteem lost some points
And broke into pieces.

To be honest, I miss my long hair...I really do....
There I was trying to cover that all ;
I was hours waiting and with this feeling inside of me
A knot in my throat.
I was head down, texting a friend
I wanted to cry my eyes out already.
But I couldn't,
People would notice that obviously...

Night :
Not so famous we had dinner...me and my sister.
At home the neighbors were there again.
My sis went to put my hair straight ;
It looked alright...sort of.
I will have to wait quite some time
For my hair to grow again...

As my hair was a little better than usual
So I asked her if she could take me some pics...
More criticizing regarding the color quality
She said I looked like a zombie in some...
Then that others were alright ;

She told I looked angry...upset...
I told her it was "nothing"
and I kept on listening to music.
I ended up talking with her;

She replied that she...
Was saying those things for my own good
(Really? There are other ways of saying)
And that she didn't wanted for me to made fun of
While we were the two going out (...)

Music XI

Music X

Music IX

Music VIII

I love this song +.+!

Letter I

To be honest, I don't know exactly where to start,
Just know that, do not forget...
If I could hug you right now, believe me that I would.
I see how you fear your life failing at something or falling appart

It is a very hard thing for me to write now
It is even more difficult for me to see your suffering.
Well, lets drop the negativity right now...
I know you're broken. I know you're scared and troubled.

The same way you always helped me
Since we started talking on hi5,
A year ago (4-Aug-2009).
I want to help you as supporting you
And make you turn back from what you want to do...

We are meant to get up when we fall
And not stay on the ground.

You have been my best friend for over a year already
We went through a lot, better than anyone you know I suppose.

Are you willing to go and waste your life away?
Leaving all the friends and loved ones behind?

If you will come across this post on your own, good
Otherwise I am considering on showing it to you
Be aware that whatever situation
Or situations making you feel hurt

Are TEMPORARY.
Life is likely to change!
Learn to wait, my best friend
Because when you least expect,
Things can and will get better!

(Yes I am aware that
I might be repeating myself
But it is for you to remember
For your own good)

If it is the Past, drop it
And start building your own future
Stop dwelling, let the ghosts be.

That pain will be over soon, but not the way you want
It seems a attractive choice at times , doesn't it ?
Even to me... and LOOK,
See where I stand now

Because you pulled me back
And made me think
So think if needed.

Read if too, if you want
Or better,
I would apreciate if you read this....

Take care
And stay strong! (>, ")>