Depression - Being Assertive

Good morning !

What is assertiveness?
Assertive is...saying no without saying "no".
It is standing up, for ourselves and defending our opinions and rights.

As far as I am concerned, being assertive is NOT the same as being rude or agressive.
It takes tact and expertise to know the right occasions / oportunities
To make use of Assertiveness.

"We are not born Being assertive, already. We learn it..."

Remember that you will not be assertive at once.
It requires time!


Why is it important?
Because sometimes we need to stand for our opinions and gain control over our lives ;
We cannot always allow people to take advantage nor use us.
By using Assertiveness you will feel less stress and, therefore, raise your self esteem
Along with point three, you will be able to give out your opinion.

With this technique, we can fight Depression 
and other problems or symptoms such as anxiety, insecurity,
lack of self confidence and poor relationships.
Situations of avoidance and frustration can be diminished as well.


Points to keep in mind : 

+ Body language is important too as it is needed for it to match the atitude.

+ You need to be serious yet pleasant.

+ Focus on what matters and on the problems.

+

• Use "I" statements. Keep the focus on the problem you're having, not on accusing or blaming the other person. Example: "I'd like to be able to tell my stories without interruption." instead of "You're always interrupting my stories!"

• Use facts, not judgments. Example: "Your punctuation needs work and your formatting is inconsistent" instead of "This is sloppy work." or "Did you know that shirt has some spots?" instead of "You're not going out looking like THAT, are you?"

• Express ownership of your thoughts, feeling, and opinions. Example: "I get angry when he breaks his promises." instead of "He makes me angry." or "I believe the best policy is to…" instead of "The only sensible thing is to …"

• Make clear, direct, requests. Don't invite the person to say no. Example: "Will you please ... ?" instead of "Would you mind … ?" or "Why don't you … ?"

Sources : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/assertive/SR00042

http://www.uiowa.edu/ucs/asertcom.shtml

School - Bullying Events

Good evening, my readers ;

After taking some time out to read and learn,
I have been thinking about some major events that happened during my teenage days:
Bullying, that is.
Specifically, through middle and high school and even, after that.

I decided to share with you some major events of my own life.
Note : I do not know if the ones I will write about in this post will ever come across this,
Yet, I will give it a shot.

I have had ups and downs through out my life.


Middle School :

Situation ONE 

There was a boy called Wilson.

He was suspended and out of school at the time.

I was inside of the school and he was off the of the limits of it.

He started to make fun of me (the same old names).

I stood still at first, and stared at him.

Then I walked closer towards him.

There was a big wall and a metal bars (grids?) separating both.

We started talking. I gave advise to him, in order for him to study somewhere else.

He thanked me and told me that "I was a good person, overall".

Situation TWO

(Years later) 

A group of three boys would torment me during the school time break.

(The same that on 9th grade insulted and nearly beaten me 

at a bus stop while waiting for the same bus as them)

After the conversation their teacher had with them...

Days later , they appologized to me. 

High School :

Situation THREE

Another Physical Ed. Class. 

I think it was that or I was made fun at, at the time.

I was sitting and crying on the bus.

This old lady hugged and told me "everything was going to be alright".

I didn't know her and she didn't knew me.

It meant the world to me and I will never forget that.

Situation FOUR

When I gained courage to enter a poetry contest.

My classmates knew about it, eventually.

They supported me and started to gain interest about my work, my writings.

The final result on the contest was first place and three books as an award.

Out of School :

Situation FIVE

At a Part Time Job.

I was leaving the building and heading towards the bus stop.

There, I found one of the persons that had made fun of me in the past.

He was completly diferent and happy to know that I had a job at the time.

With this , I want to bring a message of Hope to you

And guarantee that: 

" No matter how cloudy and stormy your day, your life is

That there will be better mornings and better moments ".

Respectfully.

Social - New Year Resolutions

Good afternoon, everyone!

I know I am a bit late regarding this subject, however,

We can set and establish resolutions and wishes through out the whole year ;


Note : This subject was written amongst others in my list ;
In case you have any sugestions, feel free to contact us at the "Contact us!" link
Displayed on the right side of the blog.

A list, as many times I was told and I taught others,
Is a great way to organize our thoughts, goals and priorities.

Some examples of possible goals/wishes/resolutions 

(Not my own and not in order) : 

- Travel more or go somewhere special ;

- Finish highschool or college with good marks ;

- Read more ;

- Quit smoking ;

- Stop drinking ;

- Dedicate more to certain people or join causes ;

- Turn Vegetarian or Vegan or just change any aspect in your diet ;

- Change your style or looks ;

- Learn a new language ; 

- Learn to meditate ;

- Practice sports or particular activity ;

- Gain a medal or award ;

- Lauch a fashion line or a CD.

- Become a volunteer ; 

- Adopt a pet ;

- Plant a tree ;

- Stop harming yourself in any way ; 

I have pointed out some possible resolutions for the year.

What are your New Year Resolutions?

Peace be with you.

Life´s Advice - Psychotherapy and Tools

Good evening, everyone !

I have been asked, even more than just once if I have knowledge
And/or if I am connected to Psychology.
I shall leave that for other people to evaluate.

But then, when time passes
The answer will be left at open.

I have learnt much while studying during my course
And mostly, thanks to life itself.
It can bring many,many lessons along,
IF we are willing to learn.

It is a long process
And I am going to be completly honest :
There will be times of joy, there will be sadness and frustration.
There will be tears, there will be times of exhaustion
And when you stop and look behind, you will realize
" I have achieved so much, I have changed ! "

It will be worth it and it is.
Psycotherapy was a really valuable tool and taught me many things
And still does. It is helpful because:

A) It boosts your self confidence.

B) Helps you with expressing your feelings towards someone else.
Note : Again, it will take take time .
Maybe you will feel and create empathy towards your psychologist at the first time,
Or later or even with someone else, later on.

C) Psychotherapy is where you can talk about what is troubling you
There, you can about just nothing, anything, everything.
However, if you feel like holding back, maybe you haven't created that bond
That empathy with the professional yet. It will require time, trust me.
Amongst four professionals I created a strong therapeutical bond with the first and last one.
When that happens you will feel like nothing is too difficult to tell.

It might be difficult to start if you think that that person is a stranger.
Think of it like this " I AM HERE ONLY TO GET BETTER "
And this one person IS going to HELP 
A special and unique human being : ME (YOU) "

D) Helps your thoughts...
Often, whilst a person is depressed or stressed
He or she may have difficulty in organizing his/her thoughts
And its organization.

Therapy CAN and will help you stablish goals
Then priorities, then time to do so.
As in a "TO DO LIST"

QUESTIONS : 
What do I / Aim for and wish ? 
When can I do ? When will it be?

Note : 
What - Objectives.
When - Stablishes time to accomplish and/or complete those tasks.
(When...) Will it be? - an expression which is clearly set for the future.

Another step :
First we can start off by writing down our personal goals
The ones that come to head and mind at the very start
Then others, and so on...
Afterwards you shall divide everything in two lists

Personal Goals and Professional Goals
And, yet opcional, you can also create another blank paper sheet
By the name of Dreams and Aspirations.
We all deserve so and should dream.
May those be a flame and a MOTIVATION
for you to always, always keep you head high
and have a constant motivation.

My motivation is connected to what I have achieved
Along with waking up alive every morning
Having health and keeping in mind that my work
And/or course will take me somewhere, will be useful
Or even, that I shall gain anything with them.

So, after reading this , what is your motivation?

P.S.: Feel free to comment or follow our facebook page at
https://www.facebook.com/BlogSpotLife

God bless*

World - Spent Game

Good afternoon , dearest readers.

During common holidays, I took some time to read and see many interesting articles

And also, think about my own experiences a bit now and then.

I saw this game called "Spent",

Which reflects the reality of (maybe) several families in America.

The chalenge for today is getting through the month.

It is meant to create awareness regarding Poverty and Unemployement.

Can you do it?
http://playspent.org/

Relationships - Family

Good evening everyone...
Today's chosen subject was Family.

In my views...
Family is always a family. Always!
No matter how many argues or fights happen.
We never agree on everything and nothing.

The family is a heaven in a heartless world.
-- Christopher Lasch

Family is loving, it is about being there
Through it all. It is about LOVE , cherishing
Each member. We can all have ups and downs
But always, or almost always, they are there.
They see you, the way you are.

A family starts with love and caring
That should always be a reminder
Always...even through dark times

-- by Life

And sometimes...we are placed in a particular type
Of family for a reason. Or for many reasons.
For a Purpose. For Acceptance.
To know the "rights and wrongs"
To know what to do and what not to do or say in the future
To learn... enough that in years to come
You will know when and how to start your own.

It doesn't matter if one family is poor...
Or if one family is rich...
What trully is important is LOVE!
Love that unites each member.
Love that keeps the family together,
Keeping it from falling apart
When troubles lie close.

What greater thing is there for human souls
than to feel that they are joined for life -
to be with each other
in silent unspeakable memories.
-- George Eliot

Money can buy toys and material gifts
But money cannot buy Love.

It doesn't matter if the parents are straight or of the same gender. 
Gender and sexual orientation do not define parents 
ways of educating their child/children.
It is about receiving each member with open arms, 
With love as they deserve!

So cherish your family!
And treat others as you would like to be treated.

Many blessings
To each family
And to every family out there...

Relationships - Past

Good afternoon,
The subject for today is about Relationships and Past.

1. How does the Past Relationships affect Present Relationships?
Answer : Past Relationships may affect the present when something is undone,
unsolved or when insecurities, fears, bitterness or resentment are left along.

2. Can it be solved and how?
Answer : Past is Past. It has happened, it may have scarred and injured
BUT it is over.


"Past is not the way to go nor the path to follow. 
Past is something to see and to learn from.
Past is not the way to live or compare.
Past is lived and told by museums, not by people and relationships".


3. Any advice on how to overcome from a past relationship?
Answer : In my opinion (just my opinion) if the relationship is now part of the past,
it makes no sense to live on, be stuck at a or even try to go back to it.
For many reasons that I am going to say :

Reason number one : 
If the Relationship (regardless of being LDR or not) ended, it ended for a reason.
Relationships (whether it is boy with a girl or girl with a girl or boy with a boy)
Happen when the feelings are mutual. If one day the other part is unhappy 
Or the other part no longer feels the same think : 
Is it fair to any of you to force a relationship to happen 
If the other person is no longer happy in it?
In my opinion it it much more fair to let the person go, 
To pursue his/her own happiness, 
Even if it costs your own.

Then who knows the present and future?
Present it is that. A gift!
You can find someone and meet someone that can treat you better
And whose feelings match your own. (i.did)
And who makes you happy, loving you the way YOU are.

Reason number two : 
Sometimes (often) the "coming back together" is a mistake.
Because many times the ghost of the break up and why you two broke up is there.
It hardly fades away. The insecurity. The difficulty to trust.
And trust in your partner is needed.

Reason number three : 
If you two are back together after a betrayal (regardless of who did it) it is hard
Not to say impossible for things to be exactly the same again.

4. How to move on from that Past?

Answer : First of all you need to know and you need to find out
What was it that in that Past has disturbed you 
Or left scars in you, still visible in current relationships.

Some examples : 
Poor self esteem, insecurities whether it is dificulty to trust
Or fear of being cheated / fear of being left for someone else.
Or even insecurities about your own person may occur.

5. Even if I have any of those problems, what should I do?
Answer : First of all , talking with either a psychologist
Or councelor would be adviced.
Also, confronting the roots of the problem is probably better than avoiding the subject. 
Many times people avoid or place in the back of their hearts and minds.
When those problems are painful and hard to bear.

They simply do not want to touch them...
But they need to be confronted, otherwise it will keep hurting
And it will keep being along the way, standing in between...
(I will write more about Therapy and its objectives in another post)

It will take time to heal. But you will eventually heal and be happy
With one person you love. Which I know you can.
Take care. P.S. I.l.y.W.

Travelling - What to take...

Good morning everyone!
Today's subject is about travelling and what would be adviced to take.
I am doing one for girls (I am a girl) yet this post can be adapted to boys also
I shall put a note on optional items / depending items too.


P.S. I am not considering travelling at all, I am doing great here in my homeland
Despite of the economical crisis here and over the UE.
Also, I thought on making this particular post because
I had these notes for a long (longest!) time and I am cleaning my room, so yeah :P
Probably I'll also make a post later on how to organize the room.


On the bag...  What to take?


Main Travelling Bag


Whether a bigger bag or a trolley (it would be more practical due to the wheels)

-- Let's suppose for a week or less --


ESSENCIALS
TOP -

- T-Shirts or Tank Tops 
(T-shirts can be versatile, specially if they are of neutral collors for example white or grey)


- Dress
(One or two, only if you are into dresses.
By dress I mean whether a summer dress or simple black dress)


- Sweaters (three or four) 
Depending if it is a cold country or not, otherwise you won't need much, 
maybe only for the night time (can get cold during that time)


- Blazer (one) 
(Can be one coloured as a statement piece in blue, pink or black
Or a simple black or grey one. It is an optional piece, though
If you don't like blazers you can take a leather jacket)


BOTTOM -

- Underwear 
(Some pairs, three or four, depending on how long your vacations are going to be).


- Pijama / Pijamas
(Whether is a top and pants or t-shirt and shorts one or two would be the adviced)


- Jeans 
(One pair or two. What matters is that the jeans fit you well and that they are confortable
The advantage of a good pair of jeans is that it can be used whether 
in a casual moment or a formal ocasion depending mostly of what you combine on top)


- Cardigan Coat (a blue, brown, gray or another colour.
I find them a cute piece of clothe and also it can warm you up on mild, or spring days).

Shoes -
- Sneakers
- Regular shoes and/or Sandals
- Slippers (to wear around the house/hotel)
- Boots 
- Heels

Others -

- Towels ( face = small , head = medium , body = larger towel)

The optionals ?


- Blazer and/or Trench Coat- 

*Blazer (one) 
(Can be one coloured as a statement piece in blue, pink or black
Or a simple black or grey one. It is an optional piece, though
If you don't like blazers you can take a leather jacket)

*Trench Coat
(This one is optional but a good choice, specially 
if your vacations are going to be on cold or rainy countries)


- Fabric Jeans (a black or grey or khaki pair of jeans. 
Those are more formal would be wearable for a date for example, if you are not into dresses. Otherwise they are good for formal/work related meetings and job interviews abroad).

- Dress (one or two, only if you are into dresses.


By dress I mean whether a summer dress or simple black dress)


- Boots or Sandals (Depending if you are going to a cold or hot country)


- Heels (take them only if you feel confortable with them. Adviced - black shoes w/heels)


- Small umbrella (only in case you are going to a rainy country) 
or gloves (only in case you are going to a rainy / cold country)
or Hat / biquini / shorts / sun cream (only in case you are going to a hot country)
or scarf (optional)


- A blanket (this one I would only advice in case you are on the plane and if its a long trip 
or an Interrail).




Necessaire (A smaller, hand bag)


- Shampoo / Body Gel / Perfum or after shave (instead of taking bottles you can take several samples)
- Deodorant (roll on, preferably small deodorants)
- Soap (a small soap would be enough)
- Tissues
- Pads or tampons (in case you're a girl and anything happens...)
- Scissors , razors, manicure kit or any basic makeup.
- Brush, toothbrush and toothpaste (there are small/portable of those, for trips)
- Sun cream (OPTIONAL, only if you are going to a hot country or beach)

Main Bag (Purse or Suitcase)

-NOTE- If you have plenty of space on your purse/suitcase/main bag
you can move the stuff from the necessaire to the main bag.
In that case, the smaller/hand bag is no longer necessary!


- Wallet (documents (such as Passport, ID, cards and money)
- Mobile phone/Cellphone and cellphone charger.
- Phograph Camera (or only the cellphone in case it can take good pictures)
- Mp3 / Mp4 or Ipod. 
- Keys
- A Map (can be useful in case you do not know the country)


ADVICE - 


1 - Always keep an eye on your stuff.


2- Put name and contact or any reference in your travelling bag
Or even put a lock on the travelling bag.


3 - Search and be informed about the weight limits on the airports 
and check the limit that is allowed on weight to avoid any unpleasant surprise.


4 - The heavier clothes such as the leather jacket, sweater, boots (example)
Take them dressed on.


5 - Either take a rechargeable mobile phone card 
or  you can go to local computer stores to keep contact with your family and loved ones.


6 - Take extra money with you... 
Because if you do not have relatives living in that country
You will probably need to find an hotel / place to stay, plus spendings with food or souveniers.


7 - If you are from the UE or any of those countries and you are going to one, 
a passport isn't needed, yet you have to have your ID or Citizen Card. 
In other cases or countries, take your passport 
and make sure you have the required documents in day.


8 - Before going, try to get informed in the contries embassy 
or learn a bit of the language just in case, 
otherwise, speaking English can be very helpful)


9 - Check interrail, transportations (plain, train, bus) and hotel websites 
some time before going in order to find better prices, places and discounts.


-- NOTE -- 
In pink = for girls 
In blue = for boys
In black = for both


Hope I was able to help...
Have great vacations !

Social - Fake Friendships

These situations have been bothering me alot
Or they used to disturb me during the past years.

I am no longer helping and listening to others tooo much
Because by doing so, I would tend to
Forget about myself and my OWN needs.

So if this is OR a similar situation is troubling you

CONSIDER :
If that Friendship is worth keeping...
----- OR -----
If you have to let go.

Other thing important to remember is that...
Even if you cannot...
Save a romantic relationship keep the friendship
Save the friendship carry no guilty no faults
You did everything you could have done
To save it.

You are not being selfish by doing so
And also leave all that either closed
and/or cleared up from any missunderstandings
That way you won't stress as much
and you will have more peace of mind.

Finally, what I mean is
You can indeed help others
But definately keep an eye on yourself
Focus on yourself
And let no one affect you.

Have a great week.

Social - Fake Friendships

These situations have been bothering me alot
Or they used to disturb me during the past years.

I am no longer helping and listening to others tooo much
Because by doing so, I would tend to
Forget about myself and my OWN needs.

So if this is OR a similar situation is troubling you

CONSIDER :
If that Friendship is worth keeping...
----- OR -----
If you have to let go.

Other thing important to remember is that...
Even if you cannot...
Save a romantic relationship keep the friendship
Save the friendship carry no guilty no faults
You did everything you could have done
To save it.

You are not being selfish by doing so
And also leave all that either closed
and/or cleared up from any missunderstandings
That way you won't stress as much
and you will have more peace of mind.

Finally, what I mean is
You can indeed help others
But definately keep an eye on yourself
Focus on yourself
And let no one affect you.

Have a great week.

Social - Eating Disorders : Music

I was searching for songs
about this subject that personally
has been in my head for quite some days
and on which I wrote about.

I found some songs on which
I believe they have a strong message
And on which I hope they aren't triggering.







I leave to you, also, a very touching video from a 4 year old.
Yes, a four year old!
Listen carefully.

<3


THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER YOU

YOU ARE UNIQUE !

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO STOP IT .


<3 And my words to add :

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,

No matter how much you weight!

STAY SAFE AND STAY HEALTHY *

I am here if you ever, ever,
EVER need someone to talk with.
To reach me you can search

For me on my youtube page... Sy0592
Or contact me here on the tab "Contact us!"
<3 We have our facebook page also.
We are here for YOU.

Please take care
And stay strong xx

Relationships - Why they fail

Good afternoon everyone!

The subject I bring for you today is...
"Why do some relationships do not work out?"

In this I mean in a LDR to non-LDR relationships.
I want to help you!
Any feedbacks, my contact is on the blog.

A ) Expectations aren't discussed.
You need to talk with your partner about what you expect
Specially in a Long Distance Relationship
No one guesses what you are thinking.

B ) Secrets are kept in between
Such thing is like poison :
Slow but destroys and kills.
Plus it gives out a environment of no trust between the two
So, for the sake of your relationship, keep things honest.

C ) Not telling the truth
Also known as Lying,
There will come a time when your significant other
Will not know if you are speaking the truth or not
And believe me, that is one step for the relationship
To be damaged or even crash down.

I personally would rather tell a hurtful thing but true
Than pleasant, constant lies.
Lying involves more lying. A vicious cycle.
It isn't good at all!

D ) Too much "Public" and Mediatic Relationship.
This one is for Celebrities and Non Celebrities
Do not allow anyone to step in
and gossip about your relationship
DO NOT make it public.
I saw about it once...
It only brings up more drama,
More argues and instability
If you aren't into that, please avoid it.

To end point D)...
I believe that if a problem or argue is happening
Or if you have something such as critics to say to your partner
Save it for later, for a private moment or chat
NEVER release it for others to see.

A wise quote :
Praise in Public,
Criticize in Private
-- Unknown

E) Issues aren't discussed
If they aren't discussed either
Or if problems remain it can turn
into a "snowball effect"
it isn't healthy for the relationship.

F) Past isn't Closed.
It is something that comes silently...
But it is very,very harmful!
You need to forgive your other half
From Past Mistakes, Break Ups, ect.
It takes a lot of "guts" and a very serious conversation.
There MUST be the promise of not doing it ever again.
If this isn't closed, the balance of your relationship
WILL surely be affected.

G) Betrayal, other person appears.
Just no... the trust is too much affected
There must be real regret and apologies
Otherwise, I'm sorry but it is better to let it go
You deserve better!

H) When the relationship isn't discussed
If it is a flirt, nightstand, some months thing
or a short to long term relationship
Eventhough it is hard to face, you need to know...
Not only by asking but by reading between the lines
Of the way your better half talks with you
Or even if he/she contacts you, ect.

I) A non-assumed Relationship
Seems a little too much?
Not quite. If it is a non assumed Relationship
There is something blocking the other from assuming
I don't say like to force the other to assume
But actually assuming the Relationship
Wearing a ring, etc
Brings a bit more safety to one of the persons
Or even both.

May your relationship go well!

Relationships - Marriage

I personally never got married
and currently I don't think I would
As it is a really important decision in one's life as a first
Plus some marriages are a bit expensive and have to have a lot planned.
Third as it is an important decision and step...between two persons.
A change as it is the union between two people.

God is to stand as a witness of that union.
A union that only would be to happen once

Yet I do understand Divorce and I make some exceptions to that,
And God (not Church) would understand that too...
But that would be a subject for later.

Marriage is one decision that will change your life
As you will eventually do your life as a couple
Which includes... sharing a place/house with your significant other, sharing a space, bills/money related subjects. A legal and oficial union, on the other hand as I said, one supported and seen by God Himself. As so, it is not to take lightly in mood nor decision.

Again, in my point of view I think only one should get married
When he/she is sure that the person he/she decides to marry
With is going to be the one to live the good and least good moments.
As well to be aware that crisis can come or disease
Or even other factors as stress or argues, ect.
Not everything is good nor everything is bad!

1. I think the couple must know eachotother well enough
Before taking this step.
It is a big change and not always the couples are 100% ready for it.
It should be intended to be a long term relationship.

2. Each member of the couple should preferably
Have completely individual savings with some ammount of money
before making one account as a couple

3. They evetually should or must learn to share stuff with eachother
If not, argues are likely to occur.

4. Trust and respect are very important points!

5. Being faithful too. What is the point of marrying someone
If one of the members of the couple is unfaithful in anyway?
NOTE : By unfaithful I mean one who goes to online dating,
Chats with the point/goal of finding someone
Else EVEN if by a short term of time or multiple times
It is plain wrong!

6. More wrong is actually one getting envolved sexually
While married! Here comes the point of respect
Because the vows said something diferent.
Then trust appears as well as the other expected
probably better atitudes from you
AND MOSTLY, being the only One wanted,
Loved and cherished and never to be second or third, etc.

7. OTHER point... Lack of time
We all know that we have to work, we have to get a job
In order to be financely stable and in order to pay the bills...
And lack of time can happen.

" If it is all genuine,
It will stay strong despite of the lack of time ".

8. Routine can arrive in the relationship/marriage.
Yet, you can always surprise your partner
By going out to lunch or dinner somewhere new
Offering a gift once in a while or flowers...
Writing something for the partner, leaving small notes
Going somewhere quiet or going to the movies
OR making something diferent at home if both don't have money

9. MONEY isn't needed to spend great moments
With your significant other. Some creativity is.
You could try some new recipes together,
OR actually creating new recipes...
You can watch a movie in the confort of your home
By renting a movie.

(You could bring popcorns along
Or order a pizza)

10. Traveling. Be aware of priorities but if you can,
Save a little money for a trip somewhere near or not.
But by saving, I mean saving a only bit per month.
All the effort will be worth it.

11. Stimulate comunication too
(See post Relationships - Balance...)
By getting diferent subjects to talk about.
Going to diferent places CAN help you with talking more
Seeing new places actually CAN be fun!
(See post Walk, Walk, Walk)

For now these are my advices.
If I remember of anything else either
I or Wordskeeper shall add to the post.

Take care everyone!

Job - Warning Signs

The sun shines over here and it isn't late so...
Good morning everyone :)

In this post I am going to speak about a very important subject
Because I do not want anyone to fall into any trap
Like I once did. Why?
Because I don't want you to go through it. <3

There are several signs that CAN help you a LOT
They appear simple but regardless of that I want you to know.
I know I have said some on another post about interviews and steps.

BASICS FOR YOU :
1) Beware while posting free ads on the Internet
Select only the most important information
AND be as clear as possible
about the job that you are searching for. 

2) Be careful about the information you give out.

-------------

BASICS ABOUT COMPANIES
A) Try to know more about the company, for instance,
If it is reliable by asking about it to someone
or checking about it online.

B) As I said on the other post , check the email of the person
Who sends you the job offer on Google OR other search engine
That can save you and spare you from the lies or problems.

C) Or even the name of the employer if you are suspecting even more.
That can make you see the activity on the Internet.

D) Check the way the employer wrote to you.
Too many typos, it is a warning!

E) Adress...
The person who calls you for an interview
MUST know where you have to go for the interview
Without hesitations NOR mistakes.

F) Being Polite.
If you are to have any collegues, check the way they are treated on that day.
And if they aren't, please reconsider for a while.


EXPLANATIONS...
A) A unknown company is a bit dangerous at times
And...by checking online you can see feedbacks whether they are positive
Or negative such as frauds for example.

B) By checking you can see the usual offers from that person
There can be lies, you will never know.
For example one person has sent me an offer for a Secretary
And when I searched there was something for an Acompany Lady.
So when you confirm your suspicions DO NOT answer.       

C) I tell you about this because the person can be one that only wants to meet girls/boys, ect
And not one to actually offer you the job he/she "promissed".

D) A Employer can write well and has had some years in School, College or University
It is a Basic on Education. Please suspect if such happens.

E) It has no excuse.

F) This point helps you to reflect if the offer or company is the best for you.

Have a nice day <3 !

Job - Respect

Greetings,

I must say my "Current Job" post has some time already
So I am going to talk about my current job...
I basically call people and ask them to do surveys
Opinion surveys. It is like a Callcenter.

And we do such and maybe interviews personally too
But now I'm only doing on the phone
The payment isn't much either but it is something at least

We have several projects to go do surveys
and contact people from diferent parts of the country
for them to answer.

Basically it isn't sales BUT people think they are...
Another thing that occurs is that most people do NOT respect
Others that are working!

So my question would be :
Do I look like I like working every weekend
And even having to work today (Monday)
Which is an Holiday over here??

Well, NO. But it is my job...
But mostly what bothers me is that people laugh at me
OR make stupid excuses like
"No one is at home, you're talking with the cleaning lady"
"No one is at home (but someone answered the phone?)

OR say something such as...
Q : When would be the proper time to contact again?
A : I don't know, just keep trying! (Right...)

OR :
Q : Could I count with your colaboration in this study?
A : NO! (laughs)

OR :
(I finished talking)
Q (other person there) : Who is that?
A (from the person on the phone) : Just some girl. And hung up.

OR EVEN :
Some just hung up the phone without giving me the chance to talk
Or just hung up while I'm talking.

...I'm not forcing people to answer
But at least I would like some colaboration from them.
I was 4 hours with ONE survey done....
And that survey was incomplete in the middle.
I had to fill out the rest.

Now you shall know how frustrating that is a bit.
Then to brighten up my day there are like one or two persons on the phone
(No more than one or two) who talk a lot, that are really polite
Who answer the survey gladly. And for those I do like my work!

Why did I make this post?
As a "wake up" message. We all have to work for a living.
Whether is sales, surveys, do cleaning or being a waitress , ect...
Please respect the ones who work because they have to, to earn money
I guess it is pretty much it and I was venting too.

Note : Despite of any hatred or bad answer
Love your job as the only one you have
and as you are a lucky person to even have one.

At last but definately not least...
I shall leave this quote for you <3

Nobody can hurt me
without my permission.

Mahatma Gandhi

Blessed be!

Job - Safety and Tips

Hello and have a lovely week , readers!
While searching for a job, be aware of safety.

-- SAFETY --

1. When someone sends you a job offer, often try to put the email adress in Google
Or another Search Engine.
That way you can learn what type of offers that person
Or company often send out or publish on the Internet.
I saved myself from some offers that didn't matched what they told me AT ALL.
Better safe than sorry <3 2. Just send your resume or CV when you are sure And about to accept the job offer. If the person hasn't given much information, ask for it. Then search to see if the company is legitimate and decide. 3. Suspect of high payments specially when it isn't a very demanding job Nor a job that requires a lot of responsabilities. 4. Clear out any doubts you have with the company.  

-- INTERVIEWS --

1. Pay close attention to your phone or email adress after sending your resume
Because companies CAN contact you anytime.

2. When the company calls or contacts through email,
Take notes of the place, hour and day that the interview is going to happen.

3. Check prior the place where the interview is going to be
For that you can use Google Earth or Google Maps
So you won't get lost nor have any unpleasant surprises on the way.

4. Check prior about the company you are a candidate for.
Not only to see if it is a real and/or known company
But too, to be prepared for the interview
and know some stuff about the company when you get there.

5. Take someone with you if you want,
To go with you just near the adress.

6. Try to go a bit before the time set by the company
They evaluate that a lot, if you arrive in time
And if you go to the interview in the data set at all.

7. Other thing to mind is the way you get dressed in
Depends of the company.
But avoid slippers, tracksuits and open shoes for an interview
Look professional BUT not too formal.
Not too "sloppy" either. Just normal.

8. Bring along a suitcase or a organizer
Where you can bring...
+ Copies of your resume
(In case they need so OR in case you find a nearby store that needs staff)

+ Copies of volunteer proofs, courses, highschool OR college certificates
(Always good to bring along)

+ Either a small agenda OR clean A4/A5 format paper
(You will never know if you will need to take notes during the interview
OR if while you are on formation [typo?]).

Kind regards,

Social - Chatting

The sky gets darker here where I live at
So, goodnight everyone!
One recent subject I am going to talk about are chatrooms.
There are a whole lot of them nowadays plus social networks,
Some on which I shall not go in detail about.

That leads to other subjects...
Safety
a) I advice you to use a nickname, something far from your real name

b) Avoid putting your age or year of birth in there or in your email adress.

c) Avoid spreading/exposing too much information online
Such as pictures (mainly avoid ones that expose you too much or indicate porn/nudity)
Important files or documents.

d) Get to know the person well.

e) DON'T give out your adress.

f) When about to personally meet someone choose a public and crowded place
Think VERY carefully before deciding to meet someone you spoke with online.
Going from online to "real life" takes some steps...

h) ...and be aware that he/she might be a bit diferent than what you imagined
Or maybe not; I do not mean to be unpleasant, just giving a bit of a alert
Because I care for you all.

i) If you are a parent, be careful if a underage person is online
Always take the basic safety measures.
Specially nowadays, you will never know who can be at the other side
Of the screen or on the other side of the keyboard
As some can and do fake their true identity for other ends.

j) Avoid sending pictures and other stuff.


My point of view...
I was around a year or two in chatrooms,
And I am ready enough to speak a bit about this experience.

I found people who wanted only to talk about sex or see me in a webcam
On which I blocked and ignored right away.
And others who were friendly.
So choose your contacts well and wisely.

I mainly advice not to search for a relationship in chatrooms
Let things happen naturally, do not force them to happen
Nor feel desperate about it. It will happen in it's time.

And yes, I only searched for friends in the chatroom where I was.
I found a bit of rude people and friendly too.
I don't use chatrooms anymore as I was just curious before.
I let it go eventually and started going out more
And going social at school or events about poetry and prose releases.


In the meantime,
I will be wishing the best for you.

------------------------------------------------------

Relationships - Balance and Subjects

One more post, as requested regarding Relationships;
Forgive me in advance for the lack of posts here in Life Blog
Yet, sometimes I have too much work at hands
or reaching Internet is a little troubled.

Now getting to some subjects that ARE important in any relationship,
Whether it is Friendship, Love or Family relatives.

1) Listen
I know sometimes (at least it happens to me now and then)
You want to talk a lot

Especially if, like me you have the tiny problem of forgetting what you were talking about.

How do I solve this? I try my best to remember
In which part or point I was in the conversation

I think my friends got used to it, it isn't funny to forget stuff...
But oh well, I try to see something fun out of it,
Otherwise it would be a total bummer
To whoever was with me at the moment!
They help me remember…

As first, I do try to remember the subject and talk
Then I let the other person or persons in the group to talk
So I can see what exactly they think about x or y subject.
That is where it gets interesting.
Then the conversation can go on
Or we can skip/change to another subject
...If we all want or agree.

Believe me, there are two things about changing subjects…

Bright side:
There will be constantly a lot to talk about
And it might not get boring.

Negative part of it:
Changing conversation subjects too fast
Might get annoying often.

2) Talk
I am pretty sure that if people invited you or if you invited them
You want to hear from them and/or
They likely want to hear from you
So don't be afraid to talk
YET avoid making too much questions at the same time.

3) What to talk / write about?
It mostly depends of the person and of the occasion itself.

Family:
Daily basis subjects, school/work, culture/music and movies.
Best times to talk are when you go to any event,
Family gathering, museum, ect....
Or when you gather while on meals

(Mostly lunch and dinner because much people might be in a hurry while eating breakfast, specially if the person or persons go to work early morning)

Basics: when you start contact with someone whether
It is by writing or personally
Make basic questions to him/her…
I will try to give some tips, here!

Music
Favorite band, singer, if he/she has ever went to a concert
Or saw a certain band live, movie soundtracks, favorite song,
most annoying or disliked songs,
show random music or bands and ask his/her opinion,
show music clips or videos,
new artists and bands (no matter which country they are from),
if you know how to play an instrument
show it and teach him/her with time and if he/she wants,…

Culture
If you are both from different cultures
or countries you can talk about your differences
in a healthy way without breaking into an argue.
It is all about the way you talk towards your friend
or even significant other.

Respect IS NEEDED above all in a conversation.

As for Culture… you can speak about Politics…
Yet if you think this is rather boring…
You can talk about the “good” and “less good”
In your country/city, the weather in a random way,
Plans for Summer or for School
(if you are reading me when school is about to start).

You can talk about books,
If he/she enjoys reading and what type of books/author,
Discuss a bit by trading different points of view.

You can learn his/her language and he/she can learn yours.
Then you can test each others knowledge
by doing some questions and tiny tests.

Other things, such as hobbies,
What the person enjoys doing during the free time.
Share daily basis subjects,
Like your day at school or at work.
Ask him/her the same.
Show that you truly care. <3 Cosmetics, beauty habits, ECT
Some enjoy talking about cosmetics,
beauty and fashion…depends of the person.

Zen

Sports
His/her favorite sport or favorite sports team/player;
Expectations for the championship….
If he/she practices or
would ever wish to practice any type of sport
if he/she had the chance.

Pets
What pets does he/she have now
and which ones would he/she like to have in the future?
What is your favorite animal/pet?
Have you ever been in a Zoo?
If so, what do you think of them?

NOTE : If I remember more subjects,
Either I or Wordskeeper shall add them
Here in this post.

Have a wonderful week...

Relationships - Violence

Do you feel better now
When she falls to the ground?

Unfortunately violence
During marriage or violence while dating is sometimes real.
Or domestic violence.

I believe it is a subject that has to be exposed
And eventually be solved/ sorted out.

As some of my posts show, I am against violence...
Against other persons no matter their age or animals.
It is wrong.

And violence against your significant other
Is even worse in my eyes. Your wife or your husband...
She or he is supposed to be the one
Who you shared your matrimonial vows with
On which includes...
Standing with that person through,

"...Health or disease
...Happiness or Sadness
...Richness or Poor
Until Death do us part."

Not that unrelated the vows because
either one of those while the couple is in "crisis"
Can generate argues and other times,
Violence when one or both
are highly exposed to a stressful enviromment.

...Continuing, violence isn't necessary at all
to expose your points of view
Forcing your significant to agree
on whatever you say isn't a good start
To any relationship.

We all have our individual opinions and capacity to think.
And believe me, all it takes is to TALK.
Talk, never shouting. And respecting.

Types of violence...
~ Physical
~ Psychological

Explanation :
~ Physical violence includes -
Pushing, grabbing, punching/kicking,
Pulling hair, throwing objects...
Anything that intencionaly hurts the other physically.

~ Psychological violence includes -
Intimidating (through messages or personally),
threatning, manipulating...playing with one's mind,
forcing to do what the other doesn't agree,
restrict money, controlling (through messages, personally
or through simple things as accounts, conversations, ect.)
Insulting or cursing towards the significant other with the intention
of making the person feel or to bring the person down.

--

Factors that can worsen Violence
~ Alcohol
~ Substance abuse

Explanation :
One of those or the two completely change the person
I don't say this as an excuse, though.


Factors that are needed to lessen or erase violence
~ Comunication
~ RESPECT
~ Trust
~ Time

Explanation :
I shall advice if you or your significant other
If one of you is about to "snap"
take like 15 up to 20 minutes
Or a bit more to one of you. Go out or go to separate rooms
So you can think a bit and not act in the "heat of the moment"
Or, under stress and anger...

If going to separate rooms didn't solved your problem...
a ) Go out a bit, walk... then come back.

b ) Hop in the shower (cold) or in the bathtub (warm)
In order to relax or think a bit on your own.

c ) Go talk with your partner
and try to say you two can talk
the next day about what is disturbing him/her.

Other little something :
1) Violence isn't healthy in a relationship.

2) If your a victim of such, do not lock yourself up nor suffer in silence

3) You will never know that while you hit on your soulmate, your other half
Someone maybe (a little maybe) would like to held him/her and treat him/her respectfully.

4) There are around 4 million people in the world (or more now?)
YET... your wife, your husband chose YOU.
Amongst so many people.
You are taken or if you're married, think of the good moments too
It is never too late to repair the damages.
What is needed is pacience, love, comunication
And the promise (to keep) that the violent events will not happen again.

A song sugestion a bit about the subject...

( Música - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face down )

Take care and peace be with you!

Self Esteem/Motivational Videos - Life´s Advice

Everyday or even in your spare time
See this. Even if it aparently makes no sense now or so
It will later, believe me! <3















I hope you receive only the best.
But never forget God and to be humble
Even to your own enemies.
Take care...