Depression - Being Assertive

Good morning !

What is assertiveness?
Assertive is...saying no without saying "no".
It is standing up, for ourselves and defending our opinions and rights.

As far as I am concerned, being assertive is NOT the same as being rude or agressive.
It takes tact and expertise to know the right occasions / oportunities
To make use of Assertiveness.

"We are not born Being assertive, already. We learn it..."

Remember that you will not be assertive at once.
It requires time!


Why is it important?
Because sometimes we need to stand for our opinions and gain control over our lives ;
We cannot always allow people to take advantage nor use us.
By using Assertiveness you will feel less stress and, therefore, raise your self esteem
Along with point three, you will be able to give out your opinion.

With this technique, we can fight Depression 
and other problems or symptoms such as anxiety, insecurity,
lack of self confidence and poor relationships.
Situations of avoidance and frustration can be diminished as well.


Points to keep in mind : 

+ Body language is important too as it is needed for it to match the atitude.

+ You need to be serious yet pleasant.

+ Focus on what matters and on the problems.

+

• Use "I" statements. Keep the focus on the problem you're having, not on accusing or blaming the other person. Example: "I'd like to be able to tell my stories without interruption." instead of "You're always interrupting my stories!"

• Use facts, not judgments. Example: "Your punctuation needs work and your formatting is inconsistent" instead of "This is sloppy work." or "Did you know that shirt has some spots?" instead of "You're not going out looking like THAT, are you?"

• Express ownership of your thoughts, feeling, and opinions. Example: "I get angry when he breaks his promises." instead of "He makes me angry." or "I believe the best policy is to…" instead of "The only sensible thing is to …"

• Make clear, direct, requests. Don't invite the person to say no. Example: "Will you please ... ?" instead of "Would you mind … ?" or "Why don't you … ?"

Sources : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/assertive/SR00042

http://www.uiowa.edu/ucs/asertcom.shtml

Life´s Advice - Acceptance

Good evening , my readers ;

How are you today?
I hope you had a wonderful day, yesterday ! :D
The following post is based on some conversations that I had some days ago.

They made me meditate and consider about some points :

Such as what is needed and what we can do in order to accept others.
We should and we can start off by teaching our younger generations
Our sons, daugthers, brothers, sisters and all the remaining generations.
Thinking that we aren't a active element in our society is something that must end.

Personally, about this particular matter,
I believe that everyone needs to accept that... :

A) Life is only ours to live.
Friends and family and people around can give advice
But every final decision and choice is yours.
People ought to be either happy for you, accept your decision
Or even, at least, support you.

"There are times when we have to walk on our own
Times when we have to learn how to fly
And spread our wings".

B) We all are equal and have the right to be happy
No matter which sexual orientation we have.
Again, when we think, act and love freely
Life does seem less troubled and seems to smile for you,
(Sometimes, it really does!)
Don't you agree?

C) Everyone is unique.
We can try to talk , convince, give advice but we cannot change them.
Trying to change someone is like making them go against their own nature...
Except when we wish to someone to change/erase a bad habit
(smoking, violence or drinking habits, for example)
And when we wish that friend, family member or special someone
The best.

D) Being Tolerant
I may be mixing several subjects , yet, to be tolerant
We must learn to understand and look into our own "self"
Accept the best and the worse in us.
Then, accept that no man nor woman is perfect.

The idea and ideal of someone "perfect" can be pricey
Because, as someone wise once said :
"You may be losing diamonds while you were busy collecting stones".

This is also a process
And a journey of inner growth and maturity.

By accepting people around us...

We will feel calm, not stressed
Your mind will feel at ease
Because you won't be feeding hatred,
Nor allowing space for negativity to enter.

God bless you all  ! 

Single's and Valentine's Day

Good Morning , dearest.

I know I wrote this post a bit early...

14th of February is a special day, isn't it?

You can choose do go out with your soulmate
OR if you do not have your better half, make it your "Single Day"
A day specially dedicated to you !

In this day you can... 

- "Pamper" yourself by going out to have lunch or dinner somewhere new ;

- Change your looks by painting your nails or toe nails, doing a face or hair mask
Or if you are a boy/ man you can play bowling/sports or go out with friends.

- Start reading or finish reading that book on the shelf.

- Save a little time during your day to have a hot water bubble bath .

- See or rent that movie you have been waiting to watch for ages !
(You can watch alone, with your family or with friends)
Or just watch a movie or serie on TV and get some pop-corns.

- Light up some candles, incense sticks or melt some solid essence...

- Invite other single (or not) friends over to play board games.
For example : Scrabble , Pictionary , Monopoly, Risk, Cluedo,
OR other games (online or not) such as Halo or sports.
Or play a "Question and Answer" game such as
"Who wants to be a Millionaire",

You can play plenty of online games here.

- Go to a gym, practice or try an activity that you may like.

- Go to a museum (at certain days it can be free or cheaper) or to a Zoo.

- You can also try and to the nearest amusement/theme parks around .

- You or your better half can prepare breakfast 
Or choose to prepare chocolate and fruit or cheese fondue after lunch ;
NOTE - I shall post links to those games in case I find them.

Reminder : You do not need a special someone in every phase of your life and existence.
Sometimes, all we need is to raise our self esteem and love for ourselves.

Wishing a great Valentine's Day (or Single's Day) to everyone,
And to my own. :)

God bless you ALL !


 

Relationships - The Heart or the looks?

Greetings everyone!
What you prefer? The heart OR the looks?

The looks may please the sight, during the first times, it is...
But what about the Heart?

NOTE: I wrote the title letter on purpose, on that one.

I aim to make people think and debate.
(Not only in this post, but that is my intention on every post of Life Blog)

(As in, a healthy discution about values.
The Heart is the most important aspect when you are either looking for someone
Or stablishing a romantic (or not) type of relationship).

NOTE: This is only my point of view.

A) Judging someone by their looks alone is not fair.
You may be losing a great "to be" friend or better half by looking at their "outter shell".
Their outside is just a shell. Inside, lies a greater treasure, the Soul, the Heart.

B) We will age...

No matter what we do and no matter how many beauty products we use.

That is the Truth. Might as long enjoy life the way it is.

Might as well, welcome wrinkles and all the positive 

and least positive things aging brings along.

What if the person is younger than you? Or older?

Who defines age gaps in relationship?

Age, for me, is a number. And if the person really (trully) loves you,

He/she will wait, will respect you and not make pressure in the relationship.

If he/she does such. he/she is not worth the waiting nor the effort.

C) Looks might trick you. Hearts can too...

I know...Can someone with bad intentions trick you forever?

I don't think so. Sooner or later, the truth will come to surface.

I believe that we have to embrace and accept ourselves 

The way we are. And others, as well.

Looks are again, as I previously said, the outer shell

The cover of the book. Decieving? Sometimes.

D) Falling in love on first sight.

May happen. May not happen.

That is, most possibly, attraction at first sight.

Knowing the person first and knowing that person well,

Is required.

Otherwise you will be leading yourself 

Into a possible mistake and/or misunderstanding within your heart.

Why?

+ Because you can create high or false expectations towards someone

And without knowing him/her properly, you may end up dissapointed.

+ Advice is to know the person well before trusting in first place

Otherwise, you may regret so OR "pay a high price".

Let everything flow naturally. 

+ Careful with the ideal of a "perfect person"

We may be fooled by the picture we create in our minds and at heart

Specially when we try at all costs 

that the "picture perfect" type of person we created

Matches the person we are seeing or are with in a relationship...

It may lead, again, to dissapointment.

+ Dreadful lies?

Little lies may look unharmful but if there is one lie after the other, after another

How do we know and mostly, how can we be sure there is a bigger lie beneath?

Atention to whom you trust and be always aware. 

Note that nobody is perfect and we ought to accept others

And see the other person the way , 

She/he IS. And not the way we want to see them.

Bottom Line : You do not need a sculptural man or woman.
You do not need someone who is beautiful on the outside.
What will it help you with when any aspect in the relationship gets rough?

Look into the heart.
I, for example, met a really amazing being
Who I share my life with.

If I were to look into that young man
To his outter shell only
I know that I would have lost a significant person in my life,

Who, allow me to say it, I love the most.

Life´s Advice - Aiming for Causes

Good morning, my readers.

For tueday's topic, I chose one particular subject
On which I have been dedicating myself to.
We all can make a diference.

My advices to feel weightless and help others as well (and yourself)

1. We cannot feel sorry for ourselves nor feel "pity". 
It is the worst thing we can do for ourselves. 

2. If we give out optimistic, positive atitudes
And show LOVE in our actions, we can and will make a diference !
(The mirror effect I spoke about, some posts before).


3. Before you dedicate yourself  to embrace causes
You need to cleanse yourself as a first step...
I shall leave a link, here is one as an example :

Aura Cleansing

Because we need to let go of everything that has caused us 
And still causes us harm.
People. Situations. Circunstances. Regrets. Ressentment.
Bitterness.

I may even reach this subject a lot, often. 
But I insist on such as it is a very important point and lesson to learn.
The sooner you do so, the sooner you will open your heart 
To new experiences and to your personal and inner renovation.

4. Another mistake people make is to put the blame exclusively on others.
That is wrong. You will be feeding a monster within you, 
Eventhough it may look easier, at first sight...

We must learn to forgive and let go... The fault may be ours as well, due to keeping our same old habits.
How will we expect to change, if everything else remains the same?

5. After cleansing,
Which Cause will you support?

Environment and Animals :

You can start by becoming an e-activist at websites like Greenpeace, PETA or HSI.
I searched for the website in English, yet, 
I believe PETA or Greenpeace have representatives in some countries.

Note - *If you have possessions, you can donate.
However, make sure to read and search about the companies before doing so*.

You can become a volunteer at your local animal shelter or support local causes.

People such as Elderly, Children ... 

You can click every day, for free.
The Hunger Site

If you have a social network site, you can "Like" We Day.
They give out one dollar per like.


You can: 

- Become a volunteer at a Hospital, Daycare or Firefighters.

- Help your local library ;

- Write articles for the school Newspaper 

- Join your school theatre group.

- Start a petition or sign a petition ;

- Organize debates or events ;

- If you have a social network site, you can "Like" We Day.
They give out one dollar per like.



Depending of your personality, 

You have plenty of causes you can join !

Will you make part ?

Relationships - Perfect?

Good evening my readers

I have been thinking this, looking at today.
So, the subject that I chose today is Relationships.
(Excuse me for the delay on posting)

Are they perfect or they can be perfect?

I leave this question for you to think and consider upon.

My opinion regarding this, is to first of all think of your relationships.
Whether of the past or current one.
Past relationships are just that : PAST.
But are a valuable lesson if you think about what went wrong, what went right
And what must or can be improved.

Now, my answer...

• There is no such thing as perfect relationship.

To be in a relationship, is to be and face commitment.
Otherwise, what is the point?

Note.: I have nothing against other types of relationships such as short term relationships
Which are based "on knowing eachother".
To know each other, you can start off by being friends,
Then build a strong and trusting friendship as a solid foundation.

A relationship, without it, may (at times) collapse.

• More than a boyfriend or girlfriend you need a person who is there for you. 

And on this point I mean both persons, as a couple.
Otherwise there is the risk of the relationship to become "one-sided".

• Comunication

About everything and nothing!
It is beautiful and healthy to talk about the daily basis,
culture, hobbies, movies, common interests.
People eventually grow old and
what is left is conversation and being there for eachother.

Comunication is also VERY important to solve things while going through bad moments.

• Trust

It is another important part and piece.

• It is not about remaining the same.

People change and their goals change as well.

Being taken or commited is also about accepting one another

The way he/she is. And adapting eachother to one another...

It is about both persons giving without always expecting in return.

It is about doing an effort, it is about surprising your better half.

• Bottom Line: 

There are no perfect relationships nor perfect persons, 

There are persons making an effort

And fighting for everything to work out.

Peace be with you!

Life´s Advice - Psychotherapy and Tools

Good evening, everyone !

I have been asked, even more than just once if I have knowledge
And/or if I am connected to Psychology.
I shall leave that for other people to evaluate.

But then, when time passes
The answer will be left at open.

I have learnt much while studying during my course
And mostly, thanks to life itself.
It can bring many,many lessons along,
IF we are willing to learn.

It is a long process
And I am going to be completly honest :
There will be times of joy, there will be sadness and frustration.
There will be tears, there will be times of exhaustion
And when you stop and look behind, you will realize
" I have achieved so much, I have changed ! "

It will be worth it and it is.
Psycotherapy was a really valuable tool and taught me many things
And still does. It is helpful because:

A) It boosts your self confidence.

B) Helps you with expressing your feelings towards someone else.
Note : Again, it will take take time .
Maybe you will feel and create empathy towards your psychologist at the first time,
Or later or even with someone else, later on.

C) Psychotherapy is where you can talk about what is troubling you
There, you can about just nothing, anything, everything.
However, if you feel like holding back, maybe you haven't created that bond
That empathy with the professional yet. It will require time, trust me.
Amongst four professionals I created a strong therapeutical bond with the first and last one.
When that happens you will feel like nothing is too difficult to tell.

It might be difficult to start if you think that that person is a stranger.
Think of it like this " I AM HERE ONLY TO GET BETTER "
And this one person IS going to HELP 
A special and unique human being : ME (YOU) "

D) Helps your thoughts...
Often, whilst a person is depressed or stressed
He or she may have difficulty in organizing his/her thoughts
And its organization.

Therapy CAN and will help you stablish goals
Then priorities, then time to do so.
As in a "TO DO LIST"

QUESTIONS : 
What do I / Aim for and wish ? 
When can I do ? When will it be?

Note : 
What - Objectives.
When - Stablishes time to accomplish and/or complete those tasks.
(When...) Will it be? - an expression which is clearly set for the future.

Another step :
First we can start off by writing down our personal goals
The ones that come to head and mind at the very start
Then others, and so on...
Afterwards you shall divide everything in two lists

Personal Goals and Professional Goals
And, yet opcional, you can also create another blank paper sheet
By the name of Dreams and Aspirations.
We all deserve so and should dream.
May those be a flame and a MOTIVATION
for you to always, always keep you head high
and have a constant motivation.

My motivation is connected to what I have achieved
Along with waking up alive every morning
Having health and keeping in mind that my work
And/or course will take me somewhere, will be useful
Or even, that I shall gain anything with them.

So, after reading this , what is your motivation?

P.S.: Feel free to comment or follow our facebook page at
https://www.facebook.com/BlogSpotLife

God bless*

Self Injury - Being Clean

Good afternoon.
How are you??
I have been clean for quite some time.
Months, I have been cut free.
With success, I am free

Over 8 months, maybe, just to have a glimpse of time.
I hope you are okay and that if it is your case,
That you find your pathway to recovery.

I shall be here and help you if you need so , too.

My testimony is out there... 
Read it if it can be of help.
Self Injury can be a result of Depression condition,
Or even,
A condition itself which camuflages other problems happening
with the person who is suffering :

For example,

As a result of family issues, bullying, relationship problems, eating disorders.
It can be linked or hand to hand to any of those,
As a way of copying or even, punishing oneself.
It is estimated that many have hurt themselves

Thousands, maybe millions of people, in certain points
Of their lifes.

Where to find help? 
Info and Support 
Sugestions are welcome,

You can contact us anytime as well at Contact us. 

What is SI / SH ? Self Injury and Self Harm
The document on awareness : SI Awareness

Advice : Butterfly Project , SI 
Let that butterfly live :)

Social - Being Underestimated

Good evening fellow readers,
The subject for today is about
Being Underestimated .

It is a very important subject on which I felt the urge of writing about...
As some persons might have been or are experiencing this in their lives (at certain point).

Let NO ONE ever take your dignity away
Nor put in cause your value.

And even if you get/are stuck by any comment
I know and I am sure that none of those is made out of truth
But instead, made out of either envy , jealousy or from persons
That want no good for you. Hear nothing of that.


"No weapon formed against me shall prosper" 
(DMX - Lord, Give me a Sign)

-- I heard this lyrics of a song, yet it is a useful quote
In this situation. Do not allow anyone to bring you down.

Instead, keep focusing of your goals :
Surprise them, amaze them with your abilities...

I remember when I was bullied in highschool...
I wasn't as good as my classmates in Physical Education Classes.
I started to write as a coping method.

Then I learned my strongest subjects : Language (PT) and English.
While I was made fun about in one part,
I shall say that I surprised my classmates
When I was able to get good grades on the two subjects I was keen on.

If I made it through School, you can make it through as well.
It can be applied to other areas of life, for example any type of relationship.

Bottom line is :
Do not allow anyone to bring you down
In any circunstances...

And even if you feel down or weaker,
Please pick up your weapons and remain fighting.
Reveal the warrior in you

Because you are stronger than you can imagine.
You are a wonderful human being...

Anything that happens
Hold onto us.
Bring me your troubles and insecurities
and I shall do the best to help.

We shall never underestimate
Because we know your value! 
Take care.

Life´s Advice - Gratitude

A blessed weekend to everyone out there!
Being Grateful.
I chose this topic
As it is a subject very related to me

And , personally,
I believe we may go through this
At a certain in our lives,

We either learn or not to be grateful 
We either choose or not to practice 
Gratitude In OUR lives. 

Practicing gratitude in... 
Each and everytime you breathe a gasp of air... 

Each time you wake up in the morning, 

Each time you are alive, 

Each time you have health (even if it is a little bit) 

To carry through the day, 

Each time you have food on the table, 

Each time you have a place to sleep, 

Each time you have someone to love, 

(Whether is a family member, your better half or good friends) 

So... Practice Gratitude, as many times as you can,
Every day and even when you feel upset or sad.
It is not about what you wish to have or about what you want to have and don't have

It is about what you already have 
Even the slightest, most simple things 
AND TO BE THANKFUL FOR THEM. 
Blessed be*

World - Spent Game

Good afternoon , dearest readers.

During common holidays, I took some time to read and see many interesting articles

And also, think about my own experiences a bit now and then.

I saw this game called "Spent",

Which reflects the reality of (maybe) several families in America.

The chalenge for today is getting through the month.

It is meant to create awareness regarding Poverty and Unemployement.

Can you do it?
http://playspent.org/

Relationships - Family

Good evening everyone...
Today's chosen subject was Family.

In my views...
Family is always a family. Always!
No matter how many argues or fights happen.
We never agree on everything and nothing.

The family is a heaven in a heartless world.
-- Christopher Lasch

Family is loving, it is about being there
Through it all. It is about LOVE , cherishing
Each member. We can all have ups and downs
But always, or almost always, they are there.
They see you, the way you are.

A family starts with love and caring
That should always be a reminder
Always...even through dark times

-- by Life

And sometimes...we are placed in a particular type
Of family for a reason. Or for many reasons.
For a Purpose. For Acceptance.
To know the "rights and wrongs"
To know what to do and what not to do or say in the future
To learn... enough that in years to come
You will know when and how to start your own.

It doesn't matter if one family is poor...
Or if one family is rich...
What trully is important is LOVE!
Love that unites each member.
Love that keeps the family together,
Keeping it from falling apart
When troubles lie close.

What greater thing is there for human souls
than to feel that they are joined for life -
to be with each other
in silent unspeakable memories.
-- George Eliot

Money can buy toys and material gifts
But money cannot buy Love.

It doesn't matter if the parents are straight or of the same gender. 
Gender and sexual orientation do not define parents 
ways of educating their child/children.
It is about receiving each member with open arms, 
With love as they deserve!

So cherish your family!
And treat others as you would like to be treated.

Many blessings
To each family
And to every family out there...

Relationships - Past

Good afternoon,
The subject for today is about Relationships and Past.

1. How does the Past Relationships affect Present Relationships?
Answer : Past Relationships may affect the present when something is undone,
unsolved or when insecurities, fears, bitterness or resentment are left along.

2. Can it be solved and how?
Answer : Past is Past. It has happened, it may have scarred and injured
BUT it is over.


"Past is not the way to go nor the path to follow. 
Past is something to see and to learn from.
Past is not the way to live or compare.
Past is lived and told by museums, not by people and relationships".


3. Any advice on how to overcome from a past relationship?
Answer : In my opinion (just my opinion) if the relationship is now part of the past,
it makes no sense to live on, be stuck at a or even try to go back to it.
For many reasons that I am going to say :

Reason number one : 
If the Relationship (regardless of being LDR or not) ended, it ended for a reason.
Relationships (whether it is boy with a girl or girl with a girl or boy with a boy)
Happen when the feelings are mutual. If one day the other part is unhappy 
Or the other part no longer feels the same think : 
Is it fair to any of you to force a relationship to happen 
If the other person is no longer happy in it?
In my opinion it it much more fair to let the person go, 
To pursue his/her own happiness, 
Even if it costs your own.

Then who knows the present and future?
Present it is that. A gift!
You can find someone and meet someone that can treat you better
And whose feelings match your own. (i.did)
And who makes you happy, loving you the way YOU are.

Reason number two : 
Sometimes (often) the "coming back together" is a mistake.
Because many times the ghost of the break up and why you two broke up is there.
It hardly fades away. The insecurity. The difficulty to trust.
And trust in your partner is needed.

Reason number three : 
If you two are back together after a betrayal (regardless of who did it) it is hard
Not to say impossible for things to be exactly the same again.

4. How to move on from that Past?

Answer : First of all you need to know and you need to find out
What was it that in that Past has disturbed you 
Or left scars in you, still visible in current relationships.

Some examples : 
Poor self esteem, insecurities whether it is dificulty to trust
Or fear of being cheated / fear of being left for someone else.
Or even insecurities about your own person may occur.

5. Even if I have any of those problems, what should I do?
Answer : First of all , talking with either a psychologist
Or councelor would be adviced.
Also, confronting the roots of the problem is probably better than avoiding the subject. 
Many times people avoid or place in the back of their hearts and minds.
When those problems are painful and hard to bear.

They simply do not want to touch them...
But they need to be confronted, otherwise it will keep hurting
And it will keep being along the way, standing in between...
(I will write more about Therapy and its objectives in another post)

It will take time to heal. But you will eventually heal and be happy
With one person you love. Which I know you can.
Take care. P.S. I.l.y.W.

Relationships - Commitment

Hi everyone! :D
Again back to the most requested subjects on Life Blog!
Today's evening subject is about Commitment or,
as many called it "being taken" to someone.

Being in a relationship is not an obligation.
It is not meant to be filled with pain and sorrow
It is amazing and wonderful, when you are with
the person you love and that loves you back. I am. (L)

He knows who he is. W.
I have been with someone amazing for a year
We understand eachother rather well
Also I feel that in the many times that
I was "Through Hell and back" he never abandoned me
And I, was several times holding onto him when he fell in sorrows.

Love is this : It is never meant to be perfect
There are problems, stress, many things
Nothing is perfect. 
YET...Love is...
Seeing another part of yourself in other
Imagining and making plans, a life with your other half

Standing through it all, embracing and accepting
 And I remember when we met
Those sweet, brown eyes,

The Friendship that began, a strong foundation
And the Love that bloomed between the two.

You make me feel complete, happy and whole
You showed me love,
Now, walk with me,

Heart to heart
And hand to hand
To our destiny, together.
P.S. I love you.30.5

Relationships - Grieve

Today's subject is relationships...

Not exactly nor only romantic relationships

But the grief, loss of someone close and dear.

It is a delicate yet painful subject to handle on your own.

I know it. Specially when someone dear to you has passed away.

1) The first thing to do is find support

You can come talk with me or with Wordskeeper,

Call or text a friend or talk to your family.

2) Most important thing is to TALK and SPEAK OUT 

What you are feeling. Express it out...

If you need to talk, talk. If you need to cry, cry...please, do not held it all in. 

Do not allow everything to build in as it can be VERY destructive... 

(Talking from experience, really!)

3) I know it sounds unreal at first, then you might even experience a denial phase.

Then questioning, all the doubts. The process, in my opinion :

Unreal // Denial Phase -> Slowly starting to realize -> Grief//Pain 

->> Need for support -> Collecting Memories and Remembering them 

(Afterwards time will help and the pain will be minimized leaving only the good memories about your loved one) 

Note : You can decide to talk with your family, friends, us or a councelor.

But please always talk with someone * 

God bless & Stay strong**

Social - Fake Friendships

These situations have been bothering me alot
Or they used to disturb me during the past years.

I am no longer helping and listening to others tooo much
Because by doing so, I would tend to
Forget about myself and my OWN needs.

So if this is OR a similar situation is troubling you

CONSIDER :
If that Friendship is worth keeping...
----- OR -----
If you have to let go.

Other thing important to remember is that...
Even if you cannot...
Save a romantic relationship keep the friendship
Save the friendship carry no guilty no faults
You did everything you could have done
To save it.

You are not being selfish by doing so
And also leave all that either closed
and/or cleared up from any missunderstandings
That way you won't stress as much
and you will have more peace of mind.

Finally, what I mean is
You can indeed help others
But definately keep an eye on yourself
Focus on yourself
And let no one affect you.

Have a great week.

Social - Fake Friendships

These situations have been bothering me alot
Or they used to disturb me during the past years.

I am no longer helping and listening to others tooo much
Because by doing so, I would tend to
Forget about myself and my OWN needs.

So if this is OR a similar situation is troubling you

CONSIDER :
If that Friendship is worth keeping...
----- OR -----
If you have to let go.

Other thing important to remember is that...
Even if you cannot...
Save a romantic relationship keep the friendship
Save the friendship carry no guilty no faults
You did everything you could have done
To save it.

You are not being selfish by doing so
And also leave all that either closed
and/or cleared up from any missunderstandings
That way you won't stress as much
and you will have more peace of mind.

Finally, what I mean is
You can indeed help others
But definately keep an eye on yourself
Focus on yourself
And let no one affect you.

Have a great week.

Relationships - Why they fail

Good afternoon everyone!

The subject I bring for you today is...
"Why do some relationships do not work out?"

In this I mean in a LDR to non-LDR relationships.
I want to help you!
Any feedbacks, my contact is on the blog.

A ) Expectations aren't discussed.
You need to talk with your partner about what you expect
Specially in a Long Distance Relationship
No one guesses what you are thinking.

B ) Secrets are kept in between
Such thing is like poison :
Slow but destroys and kills.
Plus it gives out a environment of no trust between the two
So, for the sake of your relationship, keep things honest.

C ) Not telling the truth
Also known as Lying,
There will come a time when your significant other
Will not know if you are speaking the truth or not
And believe me, that is one step for the relationship
To be damaged or even crash down.

I personally would rather tell a hurtful thing but true
Than pleasant, constant lies.
Lying involves more lying. A vicious cycle.
It isn't good at all!

D ) Too much "Public" and Mediatic Relationship.
This one is for Celebrities and Non Celebrities
Do not allow anyone to step in
and gossip about your relationship
DO NOT make it public.
I saw about it once...
It only brings up more drama,
More argues and instability
If you aren't into that, please avoid it.

To end point D)...
I believe that if a problem or argue is happening
Or if you have something such as critics to say to your partner
Save it for later, for a private moment or chat
NEVER release it for others to see.

A wise quote :
Praise in Public,
Criticize in Private
-- Unknown

E) Issues aren't discussed
If they aren't discussed either
Or if problems remain it can turn
into a "snowball effect"
it isn't healthy for the relationship.

F) Past isn't Closed.
It is something that comes silently...
But it is very,very harmful!
You need to forgive your other half
From Past Mistakes, Break Ups, ect.
It takes a lot of "guts" and a very serious conversation.
There MUST be the promise of not doing it ever again.
If this isn't closed, the balance of your relationship
WILL surely be affected.

G) Betrayal, other person appears.
Just no... the trust is too much affected
There must be real regret and apologies
Otherwise, I'm sorry but it is better to let it go
You deserve better!

H) When the relationship isn't discussed
If it is a flirt, nightstand, some months thing
or a short to long term relationship
Eventhough it is hard to face, you need to know...
Not only by asking but by reading between the lines
Of the way your better half talks with you
Or even if he/she contacts you, ect.

I) A non-assumed Relationship
Seems a little too much?
Not quite. If it is a non assumed Relationship
There is something blocking the other from assuming
I don't say like to force the other to assume
But actually assuming the Relationship
Wearing a ring, etc
Brings a bit more safety to one of the persons
Or even both.

May your relationship go well!

Relationships - Marriage

I personally never got married
and currently I don't think I would
As it is a really important decision in one's life as a first
Plus some marriages are a bit expensive and have to have a lot planned.
Third as it is an important decision and step...between two persons.
A change as it is the union between two people.

God is to stand as a witness of that union.
A union that only would be to happen once

Yet I do understand Divorce and I make some exceptions to that,
And God (not Church) would understand that too...
But that would be a subject for later.

Marriage is one decision that will change your life
As you will eventually do your life as a couple
Which includes... sharing a place/house with your significant other, sharing a space, bills/money related subjects. A legal and oficial union, on the other hand as I said, one supported and seen by God Himself. As so, it is not to take lightly in mood nor decision.

Again, in my point of view I think only one should get married
When he/she is sure that the person he/she decides to marry
With is going to be the one to live the good and least good moments.
As well to be aware that crisis can come or disease
Or even other factors as stress or argues, ect.
Not everything is good nor everything is bad!

1. I think the couple must know eachotother well enough
Before taking this step.
It is a big change and not always the couples are 100% ready for it.
It should be intended to be a long term relationship.

2. Each member of the couple should preferably
Have completely individual savings with some ammount of money
before making one account as a couple

3. They evetually should or must learn to share stuff with eachother
If not, argues are likely to occur.

4. Trust and respect are very important points!

5. Being faithful too. What is the point of marrying someone
If one of the members of the couple is unfaithful in anyway?
NOTE : By unfaithful I mean one who goes to online dating,
Chats with the point/goal of finding someone
Else EVEN if by a short term of time or multiple times
It is plain wrong!

6. More wrong is actually one getting envolved sexually
While married! Here comes the point of respect
Because the vows said something diferent.
Then trust appears as well as the other expected
probably better atitudes from you
AND MOSTLY, being the only One wanted,
Loved and cherished and never to be second or third, etc.

7. OTHER point... Lack of time
We all know that we have to work, we have to get a job
In order to be financely stable and in order to pay the bills...
And lack of time can happen.

" If it is all genuine,
It will stay strong despite of the lack of time ".

8. Routine can arrive in the relationship/marriage.
Yet, you can always surprise your partner
By going out to lunch or dinner somewhere new
Offering a gift once in a while or flowers...
Writing something for the partner, leaving small notes
Going somewhere quiet or going to the movies
OR making something diferent at home if both don't have money

9. MONEY isn't needed to spend great moments
With your significant other. Some creativity is.
You could try some new recipes together,
OR actually creating new recipes...
You can watch a movie in the confort of your home
By renting a movie.

(You could bring popcorns along
Or order a pizza)

10. Traveling. Be aware of priorities but if you can,
Save a little money for a trip somewhere near or not.
But by saving, I mean saving a only bit per month.
All the effort will be worth it.

11. Stimulate comunication too
(See post Relationships - Balance...)
By getting diferent subjects to talk about.
Going to diferent places CAN help you with talking more
Seeing new places actually CAN be fun!
(See post Walk, Walk, Walk)

For now these are my advices.
If I remember of anything else either
I or Wordskeeper shall add to the post.

Take care everyone!

Social - Chatting

The sky gets darker here where I live at
So, goodnight everyone!
One recent subject I am going to talk about are chatrooms.
There are a whole lot of them nowadays plus social networks,
Some on which I shall not go in detail about.

That leads to other subjects...
Safety
a) I advice you to use a nickname, something far from your real name

b) Avoid putting your age or year of birth in there or in your email adress.

c) Avoid spreading/exposing too much information online
Such as pictures (mainly avoid ones that expose you too much or indicate porn/nudity)
Important files or documents.

d) Get to know the person well.

e) DON'T give out your adress.

f) When about to personally meet someone choose a public and crowded place
Think VERY carefully before deciding to meet someone you spoke with online.
Going from online to "real life" takes some steps...

h) ...and be aware that he/she might be a bit diferent than what you imagined
Or maybe not; I do not mean to be unpleasant, just giving a bit of a alert
Because I care for you all.

i) If you are a parent, be careful if a underage person is online
Always take the basic safety measures.
Specially nowadays, you will never know who can be at the other side
Of the screen or on the other side of the keyboard
As some can and do fake their true identity for other ends.

j) Avoid sending pictures and other stuff.


My point of view...
I was around a year or two in chatrooms,
And I am ready enough to speak a bit about this experience.

I found people who wanted only to talk about sex or see me in a webcam
On which I blocked and ignored right away.
And others who were friendly.
So choose your contacts well and wisely.

I mainly advice not to search for a relationship in chatrooms
Let things happen naturally, do not force them to happen
Nor feel desperate about it. It will happen in it's time.

And yes, I only searched for friends in the chatroom where I was.
I found a bit of rude people and friendly too.
I don't use chatrooms anymore as I was just curious before.
I let it go eventually and started going out more
And going social at school or events about poetry and prose releases.


In the meantime,
I will be wishing the best for you.

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