Social - Chatting

The sky gets darker here where I live at
So, goodnight everyone!
One recent subject I am going to talk about are chatrooms.
There are a whole lot of them nowadays plus social networks,
Some on which I shall not go in detail about.

That leads to other subjects...
Safety
a) I advice you to use a nickname, something far from your real name

b) Avoid putting your age or year of birth in there or in your email adress.

c) Avoid spreading/exposing too much information online
Such as pictures (mainly avoid ones that expose you too much or indicate porn/nudity)
Important files or documents.

d) Get to know the person well.

e) DON'T give out your adress.

f) When about to personally meet someone choose a public and crowded place
Think VERY carefully before deciding to meet someone you spoke with online.
Going from online to "real life" takes some steps...

h) ...and be aware that he/she might be a bit diferent than what you imagined
Or maybe not; I do not mean to be unpleasant, just giving a bit of a alert
Because I care for you all.

i) If you are a parent, be careful if a underage person is online
Always take the basic safety measures.
Specially nowadays, you will never know who can be at the other side
Of the screen or on the other side of the keyboard
As some can and do fake their true identity for other ends.

j) Avoid sending pictures and other stuff.


My point of view...
I was around a year or two in chatrooms,
And I am ready enough to speak a bit about this experience.

I found people who wanted only to talk about sex or see me in a webcam
On which I blocked and ignored right away.
And others who were friendly.
So choose your contacts well and wisely.

I mainly advice not to search for a relationship in chatrooms
Let things happen naturally, do not force them to happen
Nor feel desperate about it. It will happen in it's time.

And yes, I only searched for friends in the chatroom where I was.
I found a bit of rude people and friendly too.
I don't use chatrooms anymore as I was just curious before.
I let it go eventually and started going out more
And going social at school or events about poetry and prose releases.


In the meantime,
I will be wishing the best for you.

------------------------------------------------------

Relationships - Balance and Subjects

One more post, as requested regarding Relationships;
Forgive me in advance for the lack of posts here in Life Blog
Yet, sometimes I have too much work at hands
or reaching Internet is a little troubled.

Now getting to some subjects that ARE important in any relationship,
Whether it is Friendship, Love or Family relatives.

1) Listen
I know sometimes (at least it happens to me now and then)
You want to talk a lot

Especially if, like me you have the tiny problem of forgetting what you were talking about.

How do I solve this? I try my best to remember
In which part or point I was in the conversation

I think my friends got used to it, it isn't funny to forget stuff...
But oh well, I try to see something fun out of it,
Otherwise it would be a total bummer
To whoever was with me at the moment!
They help me remember…

As first, I do try to remember the subject and talk
Then I let the other person or persons in the group to talk
So I can see what exactly they think about x or y subject.
That is where it gets interesting.
Then the conversation can go on
Or we can skip/change to another subject
...If we all want or agree.

Believe me, there are two things about changing subjects…

Bright side:
There will be constantly a lot to talk about
And it might not get boring.

Negative part of it:
Changing conversation subjects too fast
Might get annoying often.

2) Talk
I am pretty sure that if people invited you or if you invited them
You want to hear from them and/or
They likely want to hear from you
So don't be afraid to talk
YET avoid making too much questions at the same time.

3) What to talk / write about?
It mostly depends of the person and of the occasion itself.

Family:
Daily basis subjects, school/work, culture/music and movies.
Best times to talk are when you go to any event,
Family gathering, museum, ect....
Or when you gather while on meals

(Mostly lunch and dinner because much people might be in a hurry while eating breakfast, specially if the person or persons go to work early morning)

Basics: when you start contact with someone whether
It is by writing or personally
Make basic questions to him/her…
I will try to give some tips, here!

Music
Favorite band, singer, if he/she has ever went to a concert
Or saw a certain band live, movie soundtracks, favorite song,
most annoying or disliked songs,
show random music or bands and ask his/her opinion,
show music clips or videos,
new artists and bands (no matter which country they are from),
if you know how to play an instrument
show it and teach him/her with time and if he/she wants,…

Culture
If you are both from different cultures
or countries you can talk about your differences
in a healthy way without breaking into an argue.
It is all about the way you talk towards your friend
or even significant other.

Respect IS NEEDED above all in a conversation.

As for Culture… you can speak about Politics…
Yet if you think this is rather boring…
You can talk about the “good” and “less good”
In your country/city, the weather in a random way,
Plans for Summer or for School
(if you are reading me when school is about to start).

You can talk about books,
If he/she enjoys reading and what type of books/author,
Discuss a bit by trading different points of view.

You can learn his/her language and he/she can learn yours.
Then you can test each others knowledge
by doing some questions and tiny tests.

Other things, such as hobbies,
What the person enjoys doing during the free time.
Share daily basis subjects,
Like your day at school or at work.
Ask him/her the same.
Show that you truly care. <3 Cosmetics, beauty habits, ECT
Some enjoy talking about cosmetics,
beauty and fashion…depends of the person.

Zen

Sports
His/her favorite sport or favorite sports team/player;
Expectations for the championship….
If he/she practices or
would ever wish to practice any type of sport
if he/she had the chance.

Pets
What pets does he/she have now
and which ones would he/she like to have in the future?
What is your favorite animal/pet?
Have you ever been in a Zoo?
If so, what do you think of them?

NOTE : If I remember more subjects,
Either I or Wordskeeper shall add them
Here in this post.

Have a wonderful week...

Relationships - Violence

Do you feel better now
When she falls to the ground?

Unfortunately violence
During marriage or violence while dating is sometimes real.
Or domestic violence.

I believe it is a subject that has to be exposed
And eventually be solved/ sorted out.

As some of my posts show, I am against violence...
Against other persons no matter their age or animals.
It is wrong.

And violence against your significant other
Is even worse in my eyes. Your wife or your husband...
She or he is supposed to be the one
Who you shared your matrimonial vows with
On which includes...
Standing with that person through,

"...Health or disease
...Happiness or Sadness
...Richness or Poor
Until Death do us part."

Not that unrelated the vows because
either one of those while the couple is in "crisis"
Can generate argues and other times,
Violence when one or both
are highly exposed to a stressful enviromment.

...Continuing, violence isn't necessary at all
to expose your points of view
Forcing your significant to agree
on whatever you say isn't a good start
To any relationship.

We all have our individual opinions and capacity to think.
And believe me, all it takes is to TALK.
Talk, never shouting. And respecting.

Types of violence...
~ Physical
~ Psychological

Explanation :
~ Physical violence includes -
Pushing, grabbing, punching/kicking,
Pulling hair, throwing objects...
Anything that intencionaly hurts the other physically.

~ Psychological violence includes -
Intimidating (through messages or personally),
threatning, manipulating...playing with one's mind,
forcing to do what the other doesn't agree,
restrict money, controlling (through messages, personally
or through simple things as accounts, conversations, ect.)
Insulting or cursing towards the significant other with the intention
of making the person feel or to bring the person down.

--

Factors that can worsen Violence
~ Alcohol
~ Substance abuse

Explanation :
One of those or the two completely change the person
I don't say this as an excuse, though.


Factors that are needed to lessen or erase violence
~ Comunication
~ RESPECT
~ Trust
~ Time

Explanation :
I shall advice if you or your significant other
If one of you is about to "snap"
take like 15 up to 20 minutes
Or a bit more to one of you. Go out or go to separate rooms
So you can think a bit and not act in the "heat of the moment"
Or, under stress and anger...

If going to separate rooms didn't solved your problem...
a ) Go out a bit, walk... then come back.

b ) Hop in the shower (cold) or in the bathtub (warm)
In order to relax or think a bit on your own.

c ) Go talk with your partner
and try to say you two can talk
the next day about what is disturbing him/her.

Other little something :
1) Violence isn't healthy in a relationship.

2) If your a victim of such, do not lock yourself up nor suffer in silence

3) You will never know that while you hit on your soulmate, your other half
Someone maybe (a little maybe) would like to held him/her and treat him/her respectfully.

4) There are around 4 million people in the world (or more now?)
YET... your wife, your husband chose YOU.
Amongst so many people.
You are taken or if you're married, think of the good moments too
It is never too late to repair the damages.
What is needed is pacience, love, comunication
And the promise (to keep) that the violent events will not happen again.

A song sugestion a bit about the subject...

( Música - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face down )

Take care and peace be with you!

Self Esteem/Motivational Videos - Life´s Advice

Everyday or even in your spare time
See this. Even if it aparently makes no sense now or so
It will later, believe me! <3















I hope you receive only the best.
But never forget God and to be humble
Even to your own enemies.
Take care...

Relationships - Forgeting someone

I know how tough it can be to give a lot of effort
In a relationship
(Whether it is a short or long term one)
and for it to somehow end
...Or has some bumps along the way.

But back to the subject
One of my friends sent me a small text/quote once...
A wise one... :

" It's like cutting a beautiful flower off while
it is still blooming and preserve it forever.
It's better to have these memories,
than feel disappointment when the "flower" withers.
As time passes you will sometimes
return to the memories when you are in the mood "

...I was in pain, I was seriously disappointed.
To be honest , I didn't believed in his words
Although his intention was the best.
And I knew it.

It just didn't seem....possible at that time.
At that current moment I was sinking.

Eventually, my friends were really caring
And understanding towards me
That helped a lot and made me get up again
From what looked like a dark pit.
Time passed and I read and re-read this quote...
And you know what? This boy was right!!

I preserve these memories indeed.
To who it may concern (if you ever concern)
Thank you for teaching me
For introducing me to your culture and space
For bringing life to me.
And that is it.

I want you all to please hold on
And actually aim for your goals,
Have ambition for what you believe is the best
And too, to read this girl's history!
Hold on and good luck, my dear reader! <3

No Ordinary Boy

I am not an ordinary boy, and I am proud of it.

I do not share the same thoughts or points of view that are so deeply included in our society's mind. I do not agree with a lot of those points of view.

Society nowadays is only good for those that are considered beautifull in it's eyes. Altough being left alone because of the looks is already bad, the concept of beauty nowadays is completely wrong! Why would someone that is near a skeleton be considered beautifull, while someone with just a bit more weight, be called fat?

No, Sorry! I do not agree with that, and to be honest, I don't like that type of body, being it on males or females, in old people or in young people.

Another point of view I highly disagree in today's society is that a man, is only a real man if they have a lot of girlfriends and lovers. Sorry, but I do not think like that too... If I want a girlfriend is because I love her and she loves me. Why would I want less?

I have a few more points of view that I shall later post here. But why do I think like this? I have still a short time of life, but in that time, I learned a lot.

Things are beautiful if you love them.
- Jean Anouilh

Beauty is in the heart of the beholder.
- Al Bernstein

My background? Well it's a bit complicated.

Life as kinda easy until I was 10, when I went to the 5th grade. Since that time I was always overweight and, well kids can be mean. Until my 10th grade I was excluded and mocked while I was in that school.

I won't lie. It was hard. Boys would mock me, girls would be mocked if they were my friends. I do think that somehow from this bad I learned a lot.

More, lots of problems at home with my father (my mother is an awesome person!).
I can tell that I loved weekdays and hated weekends...because he would be home in weekends. He wasn't an abusive father or something like that, he just needs everything has he wants and loves to lie and be kinda hard on me.

Until not long ago, I can tell you that I had a lot of difficulty on confronting him, because I was afraid to hurt him and that he would stop loving me. I was told many times that was not thw right way and that I was hurting myself for keeping everything to me instead of talking.

They were right. I am an adult and so is he. We can talk. The lies that he will tell... well can't do anything about that. He lies like a fish needs water but well, I just have to not give any meaning to it. I am way more distant from him than I ever was. It was needed, for my own good.

There are things that are hard to forgive. Hearing a father saying he has shame of walking with me cause i'm fat, in a time I needed my family the most... is just...SAD.

But now, my life is turning around! It's finnally getting better! I'm losing a lot of weight, I have an awesome girlfriend that is one of the best persons I ever met that loves me for who I am and not for what I look like. She is helping me a lot!

Hopefully all your lifes can turn around and be good like mine is starting to be!
I will pray for you all!

No Ordinary Boy

I am not an ordinary boy, and I am proud of it.

I do not share the same thoughts or points of view that are so deeply included in our society's mind. I do not agree with a lot of those points of view.

Society nowadays is only good for those that are considered beautifull in it's eyes. Altough being left alone because of the looks is already bad, the concept of beauty nowadays is completely wrong! Why would someone that is near a skeleton be considered beautifull, while someone with just a bit more weight, be called fat?

No, Sorry! I do not agree with that, and to be honest, I don't like that type of body, being it on males or females, in old people or in young people.

Another point of view I highly disagree in today's society is that a man, is only a real man if they have a lot of girlfriends and lovers. Sorry, but I do not think like that too... If I want a girlfriend is because I love her and she loves me. Why would I want less?

I have a few more points of view that I shall later post here. But why do I think like this? I have still a short time of life, but in that time, I learned a lot.

Things are beautiful if you love them.
- Jean Anouilh

Beauty is in the heart of the beholder.
- Al Bernstein

My background? Well it's a bit complicated.

Life as kinda easy until I was 10, when I went to the 5th grade. Since that time I was always overweight and, well kids can be mean. Until my 10th grade I was excluded and mocked while I was in that school.

I won't lie. It was hard. Boys would mock me, girls would be mocked if they were my friends. I do think that somehow from this bad I learned a lot.

More, lots of problems at home with my father (my mother is an awesome person!).
I can tell that I loved weekdays and hated weekends...because he would be home in weekends. He wasn't an abusive father or something like that, he just needs everything has he wants and loves to lie and be kinda hard on me.

Until not long ago, I can tell you that I had a lot of difficulty on confronting him, because I was afraid to hurt him and that he would stop loving me. I was told many times that was not thw right way and that I was hurting myself for keeping everything to me instead of talking.

They were right. I am an adult and so is he. We can talk. The lies that he will tell... well can't do anything about that. He lies like a fish needs water but well, I just have to not give any meaning to it. I am way more distant from him than I ever was. It was needed, for my own good.

There are things that are hard to forgive. Hearing a father saying he has shame of walking with me cause i'm fat, in a time I needed my family the most... is just...SAD.

But now, my life is turning around! It's finnally getting better! I'm losing a lot of weight, I have an awesome girlfriend that is one of the best persons I ever met that loves me for who I am and not for what I look like. She is helping me a lot!

Hopefully all your lifes can turn around and be good like mine is starting to be!
I will pray for you all!

True Love

In these days people talk a lot about love.
They say they absolutely love this and love that and that they fell in love
with someone. But do they do know the true meaning of love?

Probably not... Many times people confuse love with sex, love with passion,
even love with lust or friendship.
Love is not just that, Love is a lot more!

True Love in my eyes
...Is having in your lover your best friend, your rock, your happiness!
...Is living in constant passion with your special person
...Is being able to understand the feelings and opinions of your lover and respect them
...Is being able to talk about all the problems you both have and solve them together.
...Is loving someone for who he/she is in his/her heart! Faces and Bodies are not forever. They age and won't turn better. Choose the heart, the values and the inner self!
...Is accepting that both have flaws and good things, and being able to see the good things and work to solve the flaws
...Is strong enough to survive the sickness and other bad things
...Is pure, unconditional! Does not see ages, faces or genders,


True Love is the best thing one can find! Love is not pain! Love is beautifull if it's true! I Hope everyone of you can find your soulmate and true lover!



Some quotes about Love!

"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"I could never love where I could not respect"
Charlotte Elizabeth Aisse

"To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others."
Francois Mauriac

"True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations; it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart."
Honore de Balzac

"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

As for me I leave a song here dedicated to my love! She knows who she is <3

True Love

In these days people talk a lot about love.
They say they absolutely love this and love that and that they fell in love
with someone. But do they do know the true meaning of love?

Probably not... Many times people confuse love with sex, love with passion,
even love with lust or friendship.
Love is not just that, Love is a lot more!

True Love in my eyes
...Is having in your lover your best friend, your rock, your happiness!
...Is living in constant passion with your special person
...Is being able to understand the feelings and opinions of your lover and respect them
...Is being able to talk about all the problems you both have and solve them together.
...Is loving someone for who he/she is in his/her heart! Faces and Bodies are not forever. They age and won't turn better. Choose the heart, the values and the inner self!
...Is accepting that both have flaws and good things, and being able to see the good things and work to solve the flaws
...Is strong enough to survive the sickness and other bad things
...Is pure, unconditional! Does not see ages, faces or genders,


True Love is the best thing one can find! Love is not pain! Love is beautifull if it's true! I Hope everyone of you can find your soulmate and true lover!



Some quotes about Love!

"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"I could never love where I could not respect"
Charlotte Elizabeth Aisse

"To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others."
Francois Mauriac

"True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations; it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart."
Honore de Balzac

"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

As for me I leave a song here dedicated to my love! She knows who she is <3

Don't be Alone!

For so long my life was full of shadows.

I was down, alone in the dark, hope was running out...
The vision of a life without love, a life without meaning
was draining a lot of the hope I still had.

But then, on a sunny morning I had someone adding me
on a social website.
How? Well... life can be funny! It was a friend of my brother,
that then added my mother and finnally added me.
I met Life that day.

I met Life and then, slowly, the sun started shinning in the
deep hole I was living. She helped me! A lot!

Having a friend that you can count with can change everything!
Don't keep all the pain to yourself! Talk about it with someone
you trust. Free yourself from all the pain inside by talking
about it!

It is hard! It won't be easy... but if that person is really your friend,
that person will understand and make you feel better.
For years I kept it to myself and wore a mask showing everyone I was ok. I was not ok.
I met Life! I shared my story. She helped a lot

Thanks Life for bringing life to my life!

Don't be Alone!

For so long my life was full of shadows.

I was down, alone in the dark, hope was running out...
The vision of a life without love, a life without meaning
was draining a lot of the hope I still had.

But then, on a sunny morning I had someone adding me
on a social website.
How? Well... life can be funny! It was a friend of my brother,
that then added my mother and finnally added me.
I met Life that day.

I met Life and then, slowly, the sun started shinning in the
deep hole I was living. She helped me! A lot!

Having a friend that you can count with can change everything!
Don't keep all the pain to yourself! Talk about it with someone
you trust. Free yourself from all the pain inside by talking
about it!

It is hard! It won't be easy... but if that person is really your friend,
that person will understand and make you feel better.
For years I kept it to myself and wore a mask showing everyone I was ok. I was not ok.
I met Life! I shared my story. She helped a lot

Thanks Life for bringing life to my life!

Relationships - Moving On

There comes a time when loving isn't enough alone
Argues occur...diferences become overwhelming
Too much to handle...and it comes to an End.

That end is really hard to handle
At least for me. I can't lie,
I got involved in the promises
I thought he was the one....
I got attached and fell in love with that boy.
For two years...

No matter if the words were truth or lies
No matter if the vows and promises
Weren't meant to last forever.
Mine were... Grieve struck me.

I realize that crying won't make him come back
Or turn back on his decision.
I learned that in Life, nothing is certain
I am hurt, I recognize and shown my pain in so many ways
In both positive and negative ways...
I can't say I'm fully recovered

As I must face it...he has a place in my heart
Regardless of what happened between us
Regardless of the distance in between
Regardless of the countless argues.

But I just can't...
I must let go
Because holding tight to your memory
Hearing songs and seing your pictures
Will only make my feelings of sadness and misery worse.
Would be triggers... AND I can't...

I cannot bow and let myself get this affected
I cannot allow to get hurt this way and deeply
I must shield myself...and start moving on

And songs like this...
Help me along the way.
Therefore I'm leaving these videos
For you to take a listen.
I hope it can be as helpful as it was for me.

God bless...and take care...

Helping out someone

I've been thinking about this a long it
It actually when I think TOO hard
It kinda makes me angry.
...I do trip and fall often.
Rainy weather now and then
The heels? Or the slippery floor?
Or is it me? Whatever.

Let's say I almost fell from all the stairs in the subway
They are around 10, maybe more than that...
Luckily (according to circunstances)
I slipped and fell from 4 steps.
I hurt my leg slightly along.
It got better in the afternoon.

Again it is NOT my point the fact that I fell
My point is about the ammount of people
That were behind me and in front of me
And NO ONE (yes none of them) said anything
Or has done anything.

I "condemn" other atitudes like...
Whenever someone has an accident
Or whenever there is a fight

People gather around in a circle or a little crowd
And spread rumors, comments ect. regarding it
But when someone asks for witnesses
They all vanish.

Come on, is that hard to help people out??
Whether they are young or old
Or just in trouble or hurt.
...Are people THAT selfish?

Do people just mind their own business?
Maybe both , maybe only one.
I'm not only speaking of my experience
But on others too.

Having a Admirer

When you hear the word "admirer"
What do you think of it?
Something romantic , right?
Flowers, notes...

My thought :
A *highly* stubborn person seeking for your love
Or something else.
So...by my experience I had a few ones.

1. One in 6th grade a year older than me
Highly annoying. Singing Heidi songs XD :o
Not atractive. He was around me from that time
I rejected him (can't fake feelings so I am honest)
So I knew him and went to school with him.
That until the end of highschool;

2. I was commited and around 11th/12th grade;
The "admirer" was 14 O_O ;
I was chased around for over a year and some months
And even after the break up between me and my ex.
He faked to the point of saying he had lost memory.
He would get in between any person I had feelings for
Or any person I was with.

3. Some weird episode.
This like a year or two ago
I was added by a adress called "oteuadmiradorsilvia"
Gosh. It sounded creepy as he said he used to see me
And watch me around on school breaks.

4. Other. He's 30.
My friend (she calls me best friend,sister and so)
Said "What if he is a pedo??I don't want to lose you!"
Coffee to movies invitations; Denied.

5. Yesterday there was another person for interview
He looked at me and anyways said he liked to meet me
Called my company phone and said he'ld like to know me better
Maybe go out or have a coffee.
"What had to happen would happen".
I said : I'm only into friendships
(And I am faithful to my bf)

* More of a fml... WHY!! *
I have to put one big poster saying
18 and commited.
Maybe they think I'm older or something. :o

My friend justified the rather odd events :
"You're nice, and you have a pretty face and smile
If I was a man you wouldn't escape from me too *x'D*
[...] the only thing keeping you from thinking that
about yourself are your depression crisis"

Conclusion : I have really bad luck!
And ironically when I'm taken it is when this happens XD.

Being in a LDR

I've met this special person on 19/July/09.
I wasn't expecting anything else
Besides a good friendship
I wasn't expecting at all
And tho I've met him well, online...
I want to actually meet him
He is that worth it. Or so I believe.

Sandy ^^ diz (18:27):
tenho uma amiga que ta ca em portugal e o namorado na holanda
e eles tem aguentado ah 2 anos e ela agora vai ter com ele

Translation : I have a friend that is here in portugal
and the boyfriend in holland and they have been holding for 2 years
and she now is going to go *meet/reach for* him.

[...] Truth is, we went through a LOT.
Distant or not, we were that strong to make it through
SO no one has the right, out of nothing
To tell me, to tell him or telling us
It is not going to work.
Some say it won't have a future.

Whoever can ENDURE distance...the lonely nights
The talking of people and lack of support
Will be able to succeed. Comunication IS key.
And trust is NEEDED. For a ldr or non-ldr.

I am in one. Fortunally I have the support from my family
Few know but they approve and support.
They know he is no 40yr old man or anything like (lol)
But the same age as me.

Conclusion :
Before bashing a Ldr...
Try knowing the actual story behind it
And few really are able to meet
And reach what they wanted/were reaching for.
Few[er] have the patience to endure so.
It is possible if YOU want IT.

Broken Heart

For every person, boy and girl who suffers about love.
Love isn't a game, nor a joke.
It should be taken seriously as hearts go hurt...

There is no magic potion to cure broken hearts,
I know it's hard, very hard to the point it can take over
Or mess up with people's lives.

Now I shall write from my point of view,
From...a girl's point of view.
I don't know if somebody can get disturbed or annoyed
With what I'm writting. I'm really releasing much
Of what I've been in this short life...
So, please, respect it. I hope this can help, too .

I've been through that, I can relate to that...
Because i've been in such situations...
And I know not all people are assholes or bitches.
But some just are... >.<

My example?
I've been with a person 11 months...a lot of stuff happened,...
From lots of argues and fights, to loving moments,
To two rings in my fingers, and proposal.
Promises and all that pretty stuff...
I'll set the datas here :
02/06/2008 - 11/05/2009

Yes...we broke up.
In fact he was the one to do so.
The day he did such thing was three days before my birthday
How..."cool" is that? (NOT!)

I still remember as once
He was taking me to my grandparents home.
That was usual about him. A friday, lunch time...

He told me that day if something happened
That he hoped
"I would find someone else
To make me happier that he once did
To there for me more than he once did" ...

I guess that is what everyone tells.
I just answered to him
"Why are you telling me that?
You know I don't want anybody else,
And that you make me happy."

I started to slowly (or not) breaking down in front of him
I just started hugging him.
His expression was still serious and...
He hugged me back. I was home...

Saturday and Sunday...
I had more breakdowns during those days...
In the 8th of May he dropped the news
That he was going away to another school...
I should have known...
(I shall leave more in another post)


Point one. Me and him weren't perfect.
That is something that the person who is broken
Should see. In this case, me...

The fact is that...
At first thinking about that person hurts a lot
But with time, things slowly start to fade.
In the first weeks, I began to isolate myself
Crying, in my room. Or sleeping more than usual
I thought that that would be helpful.
But it's wrong...

In this times, the best thing is to go out with friends.
Drop the memories if they're harmful for you
Avoid the loving songs that turned out to be songs with sorrow
The best is too, to change the way you see things

It wasn't my blame - as a relationship isn't made by only one person.
To build something - 2 persons are needed.
Boy and Girl or in other cases, you know...
But in my case. He ended. He told me...

3 years in another school
I told him I would God knows how I would wait
But he didn't wanted that. So he went on with his life.
This was a test... And I wasted 11 months of my life
With someone who just left me. (I'm being ironic)
I hated him at first...it pained me lots...
But then, hate was good for a recovery
And not seeing him as well, it helped.
And meeting people too.

I just thought to myself how he'll regret of
Leaving me behind.
I mean, I never lied to him
Never cheated.
And I was the girl he was more time with
And the one who supported him to go to class and all
Otherwise, he wouldn't make it through school
(He was the guy with a girl in one week or so...)
And he never said much, not even a thank you.

With this I realized how I sacrificed myself and time
For someone who didn't appreciated much
Much of the times he said he would go out and me
Then said that he couldn't because of this or that...
I know it's awful to think like this.

But it goes more or less like this...
Hating -> Thinking -> Moving On
-> Learning to Forgive -> LIVING -> Loving.

Yep. I forgave and forgive him...but it takes time.
I don't know if me
And him would ever be friends...
I think not. He never spoke to me since.
He followed his path, I just can't force anyone to be with me
So...I let him go. And followed my own path.

It takes wisdom for one to be alone.
And during the time you're alone.
Don't be depressed.

Sugestions :
* Listening to music
* Going to the movies with friends
* Doing something you like
* Or any project you were planning on doing before
(I carried on with my book project)
* Partying
p.s.: With limits,
Trying not to follow addictive or harmful stuff/paths.

You can still enjoy life while you're alone.
You don't need a boy or girl to be fully happy.
I cried, and more stuff.
But there was nothing wrong with me.
It was the choice that he made.

I couldn't let him be with me
If he wanted to build his own future.
Or even if he goes search for his own path to be happy
If so, I'll search for mine. =]
And succeed. No negative thoughts.

* This was dedicated for a person
Whose name I shall not reveal here.
Plus it has lots of time already
Take care *

Flirting

As you may check in some posts
(Old Fashioned I,II and III)
You can see parcially my point of view.

Again, I can say it :
I am not totally against flirting,
I did it like only once I think....
It's not my style much,
If you read with enough attention.

I am not into temporary much things.
And I have some self respect
So I won't lower my level.
I will not and you won't see me exposing my body
Or intimacy with someone
I do not know or do not have feelings for.
Simply : That's not me.

However, there are persons who flirt
I do not like nor want that in my side
I hate the winkings and almost fake compliments
With second intencions.
If I do not reply with any enthusiasm
Then all it is said
If you cross the limits I will block and delete.
Point done.

Old Fashioned III

As for the relatioships topic...
What she was warning about...
Yes, I can get hurt and heartbroken.
Hurt and used? Possible too, everything is possible
I mean, people can be unpredictable ;

I am old fashioned because I don't want someone
To have fun or a "night stand" with (I have self respect)
I don't go much for flirting either.

Finally...
What I search is for someone with
(I don't say much similar "old fashioned" thinking as I have)
But with good intencions.
I bet no one aims to get hurt (or hurt someone)
But to be happy

Because barriers?
That can gone and over with.
But happiness?

Impossibilities?
They only start and trouble you
And get the best out of you
Once you start believing in
What or who is trying to push you away
From what you want...
Then it is doomed.
Because what you wanted
Was replaced by what others want and tell you!

Finally...
What I search or wait for.
That is why I want to
If possible is to spend and share
My Life with someone
Someone I can share good times
And troubled times with.
My fears and who actually knows me.
Someone I don't have to fake a smile to ;

(Some cute images that I found
Related or not...)

Old Fashioned II

- I haven't had sex
While I was a early teen.
I focused on my studies instead.
There are times for one thing,
Then for anothers too, later.

(I'm not criticizing who did it and such)
I just set some priorities in my life
And that one wasn't amongst them.
I am aware of consequences of it,
Like pregnancy for example
I think people are growing up
Too fast on that... (just my opinion)

- I carry no regrets of the choices I made
And others have the right to choose
Whatever they want to do in their Lives...

- And another things...
Like smoking and drink
I am not against people who drink socially
Nor the ones who drink moderate
In a responsible way in order not to hurt others
Or themselves.
I am only against from the moment people
End up ruining their own lives and others
Out of smoking, drinking and addictions.

- Finally and back to the subject
I am old fashioned, and let me be.
I let know I'm not joking 24/ 7
I let know that I seek for something decent
And good out of my own life.
I say out to whoever knows me
What I want out of my life...
The relationships thoughts I'll leave in another post...

Old Fashioned I

Situation :
Once I was with my sister,
It was a rather "interesting" conversation
As it left me thinking and wondering.

And trust me,
Some convos can be interesting.

She told me even if ...
...I managed to have a relationship with someone
That I wouldn't be/last over two years
With the person (How optimistic... = Irony)

Even handling with the distance,
Which it would be something hard to add.
Then she gave me an example of
Someone who thought about the "forever"
And ended up heartbroken (yes you read right).
So she doesn't believe in any of those
She called me something like "old fashioned"
Because well, today things are rather diferent...

From the other generations,
So be it. I'ld rather have this "old mind" then
It hasn't failed me...

- I haven't grown faster in some aspects of my life
Just in one or two things because I was forced to.
Because I knew if I kept acting as caring as I did
I'ld be trash.