Work - The Dont's

Good afternoon,

This post comes after a brief conversation with one fellow colleague
who I built confidence with. She is older than me and wiser, I must add.
I was listening...  (Some irony and sarcasm are used in this post).

So the following advice are...

1) Don't confide to your boss.
...Don't tell where you are going,
What you do before or even after your job is done in the firm.
Work is work. Personal is personal. Why?
It can be used against you, when you least expect it.

2) Don't be too nice.
Me and my friend agree on this one.
I learned it recently, through experience.
If you are too much of a nice guy or a nice girl (in my case),
it is likely for people to say whatever they want to you
(they think they have enough «freedom» and trust to do so)
or have none respect upon your figure.

3) Smarts over Inteligence.
Sometimes being «smart» help you out of a rough situation.
Self explanatory to the ones who are smart in their job and get away with it...

4) Don't «explode»
My experience. Again. It can feel good, to reply to a colleague
who keeps on competing or gossiping or saying crap about everything or everyone.
It can feel bad to hear your boss disrespecting you...over and over...
But there are no awards nor rewards for replying.
They can only make the whole situation worse.

5) They.aren't.talking.
Or say to yourself "they are not important".
As in, someone is rambling, not quite in your favor,
but instead just throwing comments...
Well, Ignore them, they are no good.
Replying only make them feel more "accomplished" in their low life.
So, don't.

6) Don't confide to your acquaintances from work...
Because mostly aren't really your friends.
They are acquaintances from your job.

Truth is, few are or can be considered as friends.
Don't confide to your acquaintances...
...because it can be used against you (or not).
But it is better be safe now than sorry later
if anything unpleasant happens in your workplace.

I hope I was helpful...

Peace be with you,

Depression - Hope to Live

Good evening, dearest... !

It is night here where I live and I promised to myself that I would write this.
My testimony regarding depression.

I wish to raise awareness about this mental illness.
Not wishing to neglect any other, but this is one disorder
I have been going through, for some years in my life, in particular.
I can only pronounce about illness that I know or gathered knowledge / information about it.
So, I know depression and it knows me.
It knows that I'm much stronger than this illness.

We all need to see, little by little, that we are here to support eachother.
Not to hurt, bash, judge or create a war.
We are together on this...

POV : 
For years I was negative, with poor self esteem (due to bullying at school)
My pattern of thinking was negative too...for years
(as if I had a magnifing glass
and pointed out everything that was negative,
forgeting about the positive things in my life)

Source : Depression Awareness Worldwide

It began in 2008 when I was 16. 

I was a very revolved person, negative too.

As the year passed, I went to a downwards spiral in 2009.

Back then, a very important person in my life was my psychologist.

The school psychologist and I owe much to her.

Because there was a time too when I felt helpless.

Not the «false friends» or colleagues 

because they abandoned me when I needed the most.

The «friend list» dropped and I am thankful for it (not back then, but now)

Why? Because maybe, just maybe they weren't proper people 

to be walking around and being around in my life anymore.

The hope to live... My hope to live...

It doesn't have to be this way.

Fortunately the teachers helped during classes

And my psychologist was following the situation.

That image above is... 

«What if we saw other physical illness as we see depression?»

Makes me think. I was very resistant (not to say stubborn) 

about seeking proper treatment.

I changed my way of thinking after years of therapy and much support. 

It is not easy at all. But it is possible.

From mild depression with ugly phases (done things i'm not proud of)

Up to the now that I have the tools to live and face almost anything.

I am not going to refuse treatment again because I knew the consequences.

I am not indestructible but I am strong enough 

to deal with problems that may appear on a daily basis and cope/ handle them.

My mission now is to teach you what I have learned.

See through my eyes now. Seek help.

Praying for your recovery!

Much love,

Self - Thought and Imagination Exercise

Good afternoon everyone !

I hope you are okay,
For this Tuesday I'm bringing you something special on this post
I have been trying it for the last two weeks.

This song has been in my mind during the process
It is called «Imagine that» by Coma ft Owsey

[...] This TIE (Thought and Imagination Exercise)
exercise is based on something I admire and recommend you reading
« The Secret » by Rhonda Byrne.

Official Website of The Secret
It is truly amazing...to say just a little of it.

NOTE : I usually do this exercise at night.
That is when everything is quiet, silent

They say dreaming is dead, no one does it anymore.
It's not dead, it's just that it's been forgotten,
removed from our language.
Nobody teaches it so nobody knows it exists.
And the dreamer is banished to obscurity.
Well, I'm trying to change all that, and I hope you are too.
By dreaming, every day.
Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds.
Source : Release Lyrics

Somewhat deep... a tiny sad, yet peaceful, yet deep in a special way.
I used to cry sometimes when I listened to it.
The grief of a missunderstanding. I am a dreamer.
Dreaming and dreamers aren't often to be seen and found in this world...

The tie between dreaming and the reality had been broken.

Then at last, I realized the true message in those lines...
«Nobody teaches it so nobody knows it exists»

And the answer is here...
«By dreaming, every day.
Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds»

Exercise :

Thought 1 : 

What do I want for myself?

Thought 2 : 

*Insert goal or dream here*

*PLAY*

Action :  

With your mind, stay focus and imagine.

Imagine details and the situation happening.

During the first times it will seem hard to achieve and to think

But with time, it will become easier, your mind will be clearer 

And you will become more and more focused on what you want

Note : Leave any worries behind.

If it helps, put soft songs playing, like instrumentals.

In a long run, it will become easier and easier... 

(or not so long run) To imagine and dream

Note: I do this once per night, before sleeping.

Then after the Thought and Imagination Exercise

I go and drift to sleep. It is amazing...

Stay. focused...
Keep...breathing...

[...] It is okay to dream and make a time to dream and a time to fight.

So I choose :
«I'll dream and stay focused at night... 
And fight and stay focused during the day».

Peace be with you,

Life´s Advice - Declutter

Good afternoon everyone ;

As I had posts planned for this month already I left this one for later on
However , today (5/5) I have made a decision
(Not that I am very deorganized, but usually my papers are a mess in my room)

And, since I am going to start having tests and I am also going to start working
Might as well start having everything organized and in order.
It is somewhat related to the post «Less is More».

[...] To be honest I had started some weeks ago this
On and off , I mean.
I study, then arrive by the end of the afternoon home 
and usually write and rest or stay with the family, by now.

After writing out all the useful contacts on my email account
(Health, Courses, Services, Professional and Personal Contacts)
I started to get rid of the papers.

My main motivation is the thought of being able to find everything
Quickly and efectivelly.
Along with this first motivation there is another one :
A bit connected to the first one :

If I am able to find things easily, 
I can save more time for myself and others
And I definately wish to simplify my life on this matter.

I have my course's lessons in an USB Key
Yet I also have papers, exercises and worksheets from it
I decided that the one's that I am no longer having class
That have ended, I am going to write out in documents and save them.

I also spared some time to clean the dust in my room
(Well...some neighbours are with their house under repair/maintenance
So dust is very frequent on this building) and get rid of more papers.

It will take time for everything to be completely finished
I still have to organize financial and school papers and other random stuff
But I am confident that sooner or later I will have everything done.
Bottom line is : It will pay off.

Social - Self Esteem and POV's

Dearest,

These are troubled times we are experiencing.
Therefore my goal is to help one another, whenever possible.
So, I picked Self Esteem.

There are three ways to see Self Esteem...

1 ) The way we see ourselves.

2 ) The way others see us.

3 ) The way we think that others see us.

Those three views on Self Esteem
Ought to collide with eachother at times.
Our self esteem starts to be formed at an early age.
Our parents are responsible shape that aspect while they are educating us

That shapes The way we see ourselves.

While we grow and watch our colleagues and parents.
Thus, we are facing and seeing The way others see us
(through their actions, sayings and opinions)

Lastly, we can have a third perception on self esteem :
The way we think that others see us,
and this one can be either right or very wrong.
(means that it can be distorted easily)

It is VERY IMPORTANT to take Self Esteem nearly at heart.
Otherwise, growing up with a poor self esteem can be devastating.
Likewise, growing up with a overly high self esteem can be troubling, too.


POV :
I grew up with a poor self esteem, I admit it.
The perception I had of the world and of my future was not bright
When one grows up with a poor self esteem, he or she can tend to isolate
Lose security and value in his or herself.

And all the rest came along (can be read in other posts), as you know.
But those least positive points are not
What I want to teach or bring highlight upon.

The bottom line is to pay attention to these situations
For your loved one's sake and health!

A bruised self esteem can give place for other problems such as...
- Anxiety
- Lack of Security
- Depression
- Eating Disorders
- For one to become a bully or bullied.
- Other health disorders and mental illness
- Self Injury
- Suicidal thoughts.
- Risk of Suicide.

We have to let our children and teens know the rights and wrongs
Know tolerance, acceptance and other essencial values
Such as sharing, and be aware of causes.

Why ?
Because our children will be adults in the future
They will be the adults of the FUTURE.
And I (as you probably not as well) do not wish that
Our grown ups become sick or imitate our mistakes.
Due to watching us neglecting them...
No, we can not allow that to happen!

Speaking of that...here is a video on the matter.

NOTE : We need to care for our beloveds
Each and every day.
Even if we are too stressed or upset to attend them.
Let him/her know that you are there.

I read a really interesting email some days ago from a friend.
I no longer have it in my inbox, but it was about being there.

It was a beautiful history about a father and a young son.His parents weren't able to be there for him :His mother and father were working until late to sustain their house and pay their bills.

They could barely see eachother : He was early at schoolAnd his parents would return late from work, By that time the child would be sleepingTo attend another day of school on the following day.

So...his father had an idea.

Late at night when he arrived home from work,

He would make a tiny noose in his son's bedsheets

and kiss his forehead, every night.

That way, the child would know that his father was there.

Bottom line : 
On this tiny history,
The noose would represent a tiny but meaningful gesture of being there
And a sign of connection between both.

We do not need a lot of words, 
We need (big or small) actions
That come out from the heart, with kindness and love, instead.

POV : 
To heal broken / bruised self esteem
It takes time...specially if you still
do not know what was the cause.
So... I will demonstrate some steps here

(I have been through this journey already 
and still am following some of these steps)

1ST STEP : IDENTIFY
In this cases we have to look back to find the cause
Sometimes, seeking for help can be/is advised.

(For example : 
A psychologist/councelor or hypnotherapy)

We can name it «the root» problem,
Because we are talking about the possible cause or causes
(Can be multiple) that led to self esteem problems.

2ND STEP : RECOGNIZE / TAKE ACTION
Linked with step number one it is really important
And it is a great victory recognizing and be willing to improve
Let no one take that precious victory away from you
You are doing an effort to be a better person.

NOTE : It can be the other way around too...

1ST STEP : RECOGNIZE / TAKE ACTION 

2ND STEP : IDENTIFY

3TH STEP : BE PATIENT.
By rushing everything, we will not be attaining better results
Or quicker results. For an effective treatment to happen changes must occur.
Bad habits must be broken!
Waiting is actually PART of the process!

POV : 
In my therapy I was rushing and negleting
My well being and my goals. It had done me no good.
Due to economical reasons, I have found myself abandoning treatment
Specially when I was maybe needing it the most.

(For more information you can check
Relationships - Expectations)

But it was solved by searching for other solutions/alternatives
Eventually the place where I was receiving treatment
I had no longer to pay, because it was decided to be like so.

What I want to explain with this...
You do not have to live like that.
I know that you are a wonderful human being
And the faster you go seek help
You will for sure feel the benefits, eventually.

4TH STEP : Writing out or Speak it out.
It definately helps a lot. I might post the complete POV of some times of crisis
I will think about it , for the time being.
As far as I concern, I agree on this point to speak out to someone you trust
Specially, a loved one who you feel that you can talk freely, openly
Without thinking if you are bothering or not.

From experience , I speak with my mother.
Difficult times brought us closer and our daughter/mother relationship stronger.
So , out of a difficult situation, I can see and now sense improvement.
Not everything is dark, dim and other similar names .

I am satisfied with this because previously, 
All that I could see was darkness, like a dark cloud in front of me.

That has changed now and that cloud has dissapeared.
I wish from the bottom of my heart that you are able to improve too
And find your path.

NOTE : I do not mind sharing my personal story or my journey.
Reason ? I want to help out the best I can.
I want you to know that you are not alone on this.
I want you to know that there is a light, there is a hope, there is a way.

Life´s Advice - Less is More

Good morning !

Besides these recent quotes/statements...

«Giving up is NOT AN OPTION.» 

«Prepared for the worse,

But always hoping and fighting for the best.»

That I decided to transform into personal statements for my own life
I would to speak about another one :

  «Less is more.» 

It is ... to one live with what he/she has got.

To not be greedy or carry jealousy towards another and their possessions.

This can be apliable to almost ANY area of our lives.
Self, Relationships, possessions/belongings....

We can start with belongings.
We tend to spend much money in the latest technologies, brands, jewelry...
As someone once said...and we need to ask ourselves (and others) this:

Do we need that much?
Do you need that much?

What can make us happy, afterall? 

So for today I saved this post for Less is more 

and some POV's are to be expected.

BELONGINGS

a) Cleaning  

We can start off by separating different types of files.
By month (MM/) or year (YYYY/)
Then, by day (DD/).
You store them in a folder or recycle them,
In case they are no longer needed.

b) Saving 
You can save some files (by using an external disk or USB key) on the computer.
It is also a pratical solution
Since you can easily carry both around in a backpack or suitcase;

c) Choosing
Choose the main files and separate them by categories

Examples : 
Personal, Finances, Work, 
School/Course, Health, 
Extra, Other.


d) Old and New
See if your items are still usable and up to date.
Check if your clothes are still wearable or wore off.
See if you are still going to use them or not.
In case you don't and if they are in good conditions,
You can give them away to charity or to someone who needs it
So they can give a new use to it.
And you can save room for new, useful items, to take place.

e) Make up 
You can label your make up with the date you opened it
So you know when you started to use and know when it expires.

(Actually this was originally Vanessa's idea.
Visit her at : http://diariodeumabeautyjunkie.blogspot.com/
She has great posts and reviews)


f) Wearing Make up...

Less is more is meant for this case, too:

A bit of lipgloss, a natural, soft liquid foundation 

clear mascara and concealer (optional) are enough for a natural look.

The skin colour must be even.

Also, the concealer ought to be slightly lighter 

In case you wish to conceal dark circles.

" I am a simple girl

I usually wear make up to enhance qualities 

and to camuflage small flaws and (mostly) traces of tireness"

LESS IS MORE...

" Finally, it is important to find happiness in simples things and inside of us

It starts there. We have to find it.

And let it blossom.

Then we can trully show our essence

Give out the best in us, for us and others

And fully live life ".

Regards.

Life´s Advice - Inner Strength

The only thing I know is this:

I am full of wounds and still standing on my feet.

— Nikos Kazantzakis​

Dear readers,

How are you doing?

I want you to know...


You are stronger than you can ever imagine.
We often figure that out, 
When we do not have any other option than being strong.
I believe in all of you that 
Come across this page and read each word that I post
Or even if it is the first time you are reading me...
Know that I believe in you.

I look forward to hearing from you...
And am glad to be making this journey with you...
Despite of any wounds that you have, on your skin, flesh, soul...
Let time heal, let God heal, allow yourself to heal.

Give time, allow your thoughts to settle in
Think about the one or ones you love.
Think about your relatives
Or even your mother or father, the ones 
Who made your birth, your existence possible.

Reflect about One that makes you whole, 
Whole as a woman/man or as a human being.
You are loved , and you can make it through.
I believe in you!

World - Mental Illness POV

Good afternoon!

For this day, I thought about a diferent point of view
And approach on Mental Illness.

It is not easy to have mental illness, nor it is something we choose to have.
Mental Illness, such as chronic illness as well,
Tend to be labeled by people and society
And, still until this very day it is frequent to judge, and talk/write
Unacurate information and statements about these.

It is easy and rather quick to judge when you are not going through the situation.
Everyone's path and life journey is different.
Each human being is diferent.
And that is what trully is wonderful in life, too!

How boring it would be if we thought the same way,
Dressed the same way and all?

We cannot fully know how someone's path is until we walk through their shoes
As in, going through one's similar condition or situation.

We feel diferently, 

We act diferently,

We demonstrate affection, love, kindness, in our own special way.

We suffer diferently and we react diferently through pain.

It is not easy to have mental illness, nor it is something we choose to have.
Sometimes, it just happens or it is triggered by events or people around us.
Often it is not "socially acceptable" to be sick.
As it is not "socially acceptable" anything that is either different or unknown.

People either despise, ignore or fear the unknown.
So I leave another question :
What if that unknown become known and even, familiar?
Would it have an impact or would you act the same way?

I had the first symptoms of my condition in 2007
But I was only diagnosed with depression three years later.
I researched, read because I wanted to know what was happening to me.

To seek knowledge is optional.
To seek help, is needed
Because your Health, your life is precious
And so are the ones around you.

Note: There were triggering events, yes, that I wrote about in the blog
Since 2010.

Nowadays I am not ashamed to say that I had depression
And/or that I have anxiety problems.
No one has to feel shame.
No diagnosis defines people.

People cannot allow a condition or illness to put a limit to their dreams.
Instead, that must be a reason to push forward
And redefine his/her own goals.

I am not depression.
It was a condition, that, as many others can and must be controlled.
It has not have a physical spot where it hurts,
But it is real pain...ache that has a reason.
That reason can be figured out imediately or it can take time.

Again, it takes time, yet I learned that
Instead of feeling sorry for what I went through
Instead of whining about what I do not have
Instead of feeling pity of my old self

I decided to spend that energy
On the Present. Because Present is a gift.
And thanking for what I have.
And dedicating to my former self.

-- Carpe Diem,

Seize the day. 

It is valuable to find proper help and support.
Professional help is advised.
And follow your doctor's instructions.

Our life is a blessing,
We are lucky to wake up each day.

Some, are not as lucky
And if we are alive,
Let's live with quality and truly live
Not survive!

God bless you all!

Tips to Deal with Anxiety

Good evening dearest...

I usually write during the night or during the afternoon.
Then I either post at the moment or allow Blogger to do its magic.
There is this subject...that I felt unconfortable in the past to talk about.

It is night over here and I chose to write out what I was thinking about
It is a quite personal post.

Anxiety.
Again... Anxiety.

Okay, better this way, with smaller font.
I considered anxiety to be something that held me back for some years.
As a matter of fact, it gave me quite some headaches.

I must admit, I still haven't fully tamed this
But I am starting to find ways to cope and deal with it.

NOTE : Anxiety does not have to be a monster!
In a normal situation, it is acceptable or «normal» to feel nervous and worried

(To feel alarmed/nervous/insecure is a mechanism of the human being
To be aware of risks, to be grounded and focused to his/her surroundings)

BUT when it affects and disturbs your life, whether socially or psychologically
It is time to react and seek help!

POV :
When I am anxious I tend to think too much and barely function.
With these wrongs... :

«What if...?» , «I should have done/said (usually added with «more») » , 

«I could have done» , «What will happen?»

«It was my fault» , «I was not good enough» , 

«I am not ready for this...» , «I cannot do» ...and so on...

Over and over again...

Are few examples I can give out to you.
I found and sorted out some ways to deal with it
And other ways/tips to ease my mind.

When I get TOO anxious, my stomach aches
and I honestly feel like I want to cry.
Other times, eating and sleeping gets affected.
We don't have to live like this!

So I rushed to seek help and advice...
Oh and found out some ways to deal with this on my own.

What I do...not in any particular order

1. Think about good moments.
Anyone who you deeply love or inspires you greatly.
Someone you held dearly to your heart.

2. Have a lucky charm.
I once went to a store and a black stone caught my attention.
Onix. So I bought it and ever since, I carry it along with me.
In my pocket and near me when I am going to sleep.

3. Light up a candle once in a while.
Stare at the flame, keep an eye on it.
Just sitting and connecting with your «self»
Or even, thanking for the day.

4. I have...conquered . I have...achieved .
I confess I am still slowly adapting to this way of thought
Due to the fact that I had these negative thoughts
And reversed thinking pattern for so many years
That it is hard (NOT IMPOSSIBLE) to change.
It will take time, but I believe! I am trying this !

So the tip on point number 4 is to,
At the end of the day to say or think to yourself :

TODAY , I have conquered... (fill in) . 

TODAY , I have achieved... (fill in).

It does not matter if it was a silly or small achievement.
What matters is that your mind gain focus on that type of thoughts
So that it may feel at peace whether it is at night, before going to bed
Or whenever you need so.

An example : 

TODAY , 
I have conquered my goal of making through the day and learning properly.

TODAY , 
I have achieved what I had planned : to write for this blog.

5. RESCUE Thought.
When I am really, really anxious and I have the chance
I usually go to my bed and just stay there.
And try to breathe. Slowly...

Then , (can be a solution in other cases and combined to 5) 
I think to myself over and over and over again
As many times as needed , this :

« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »

« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »

« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »

« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »

« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »

NOTE : 
Thoughts are very powerful and can have a strong influence in us.
We have to reverse them, in case they are harmful.

6. Balance and Organize.
I know that something either unknown
Or unexpected is more likely to cause anxiety.
Now and then you can learn to organize your thoughts
Or your projects. That will help you deal with insecurities.

You can organize at a) mind or b) by writing out.
It can be used once in a while as a guideline or resource.

If you know what you have to do or what you will say
(for presentations) you will feel slightly less nervous
By practicing too (you can try in front of a mirror, for instance)
Presentations will become something simple.
Achievement? Your confidence will boost!

7. Write out or Talk out
I used to write my heart out or talk out with someone when I felt anxious.
It helped too... However, now
I am trying by myself to find ways (mentioned above) to cope.

8. Letting it all out
Lastly, if I do feel like I want to cry, I do cry.
If I get nervous to that point, I will...
It is better to become aware of this
Than to let those emotions burst and get out of control.

9. Reading
Reading can prove to be relaxing.
Choose your favorites
Or maybe you can choose to read a diferent type of book
One that you usually don't read.
Or you can pick Self Improvement or Guidance books.

This was my POV and Tips for the moment.
I shall add new tips from time to time
Feel free to add any suggestions or even contact us, if you would like.

Wishing you all best.

Relationships - Expectations

Good evening everyone ,

I usually since I started to post on Tuesdays and Fridays,
I wasn't making posts in other days.
BUT today is a holiday here and I decided to make an exception.
For today (and somewhat related to the post "Treasure" on Life´s Advice)
I chose Expectations. There is more than meets the eye.
I am going to share a story with you, about my current therapy.

I go once per week at a local college of Psychology where we talk
And sometimes we have some exercises and there I gained more tools to deal with life.
I am always learning and open for changes. (Will tell more in other posts)

Therefore, the first step was to recognize a problem or a possible situation happening.
In my case, carrying high expectations had proven to be devastating.
So I told her. (The situation will be told below, I promise)

And it is, specially when one has such high expectations,
That anything the other people do isn't enough.
It never seems enough.

So I thought about the issue itself and there may a reason for it.
Lack of self esteem or affection.
Personally, if we have low self esteem
People can help us, can try to heal those wounds
But we have to find love inside of us too.
And that can prove to be quite a chalenge.

SITUATION :
I arrived to college and I had high expectations
« I am going to feel fine after this, it is all that I want and I hope it doesn't take much time »
My thoughts exactly. Then, more and more expectations were added.

I wanted so badly to feel refreshed and changed
For my loved one, for my family, for my friends
That I unconsciously overwhelmed everything with expectations.
Plus, neglected myself. I thought about nothing else.
And I was growing inpatient!

Outcome : 
Instead of draining my energy on thoughts as, for example :
«It has to be good» , «I have to feel okay» , «TODAY I have to tell x , y and z»

(They become warmful because in those cases
You are organizing things so much OR forcing something to happen
Even if it is only in your mind.
Even if it is with a good intention,
Things don't always work out the way we want)

When I stopped carrying such expectations...I NOTICED!

And if at least you throw some of them away
You will feel the diference, I guarantee.

(Because those can and seriously warm your relationships 
And you can lead yourself to disapointment
Instead it is better to be surprised through out life!)

...I just thought of nothing and went there
As in « Appointment today , we'll see how this goes »

My goal and the goal of the psychologist is for me to improve as a person.
However, there are ups and downs.
When we feel happy, unhappy, tired, annoyed, and so on...

I still want to feel fine and be the best I can be for the ones I love,
And I know I am going to reach what I have planned!
But I am not carrying the weight of the expectations with me.
I will let the appointments take their course and take one step at a time instead.

Blessings.

Relationships - Expectations

Good evening everyone ,

I usually since I started to post on Tuesdays and Fridays,
I wasn't making posts in other days.
BUT today is a holiday here and I decided to make an exception.
For today (and somewhat related to the post "Treasure" on Life´s Advice)
I chose Expectations. There is more than meets the eye.
I am going to share a story with you, about my current therapy.

I go once per week at a local college of Psychology where we talk
And sometimes we have some exercises and there I gained more tools to deal with life.
I am always learning and open for changes. (Will tell more in other posts)

Therefore, the first step was to recognize a problem or a possible situation happening.
In my case, carrying high expectations had proven to be devastating.
So I told her. (The situation will be told below, I promise)

And it is, specially when one has such high expectations,
That anything the other people do isn't enough.
It never seems enough.

So I thought about the issue itself and there may a reason for it.
Lack of self esteem or affection.
Personally, if we have low self esteem
People can help us, can try to heal those wounds
But we have to find love inside of us too.
And that can prove to be quite a chalenge.

SITUATION :
I arrived to college and I had high expectations
« I am going to feel fine after this, it is all that I want and I hope it doesn't take much time »
My thoughts exactly. Then, more and more expectations were added.

I wanted so badly to feel refreshed and changed
For my loved one, for my family, for my friends
That I unconsciously overwhelmed everything with expectations.
Plus, neglected myself. I thought about nothing else.
And I was growing inpatient!

Outcome : 
Instead of draining my energy on thoughts as, for example :
«It has to be good» , «I have to feel okay» , «TODAY I have to tell x , y and z»

(They become warmful because in those cases
You are organizing things so much OR forcing something to happen
Even if it is only in your mind.
Even if it is with a good intention,
Things don't always work out the way we want)

When I stopped carrying such expectations...I NOTICED!

And if at least you throw some of them away
You will feel the diference, I guarantee.

(Because those can and seriously warm your relationships 
And you can lead yourself to disapointment
Instead it is better to be surprised through out life!)

...I just thought of nothing and went there
As in « Appointment today , we'll see how this goes »

My goal and the goal of the psychologist is for me to improve as a person.
However, there are ups and downs.
When we feel happy, unhappy, tired, annoyed, and so on...

I still want to feel fine and be the best I can be for the ones I love,
And I know I am going to reach what I have planned!
But I am not carrying the weight of the expectations with me.
I will let the appointments take their course and take one step at a time instead.

Blessings.

Life´s Advice - Treasure

Greetings, my readers.

One lesson to learn is that we have to give value to other people.
Because, we may be giving attencion to ones who are not actually there when needed.
At all. We might be expecting too much or even,
Overload others with (often unrealistic) demands.

ALSO and very important too...
We are probably missing out much
And losing the ones we love the most because of those.

How much do words carry in value , over time ?
Quite a part of value, but not all of of it
Atitude means way more, to run that extra mile, to call your significant other
To do crazy things.
To text, to message that person and let him/her know that you are there.
To wait.
To have the guts to change and admit the wrongs, and turn those flaws around.

Because I , you , we are human.
We all make mistakes.
We are not perfect
We all carry regrets along
But what makes the diference is to actually change and fulfill that promise.

P.S.: I promise you, W.

Blessed be.

World - Petitions

Good morning my readers,

I chose for today a selection of websites with Petitions
There are quite some causes and you can even create your own petitions!

The one I use the most , from Care2.com
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/

NOTE.: You can login with your Facebook profile, too.

Others you can look at...
- http://www.ipetitions.com/
- http://www.change.org/petition
- http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/
- http://www.causes.com/

You can also check out Greenpeace's Website and PETA's Website if they have any petitions,
However, I recommend it as it has many tips and advice :

Some petitions that Greenpeace is doing/are related to them:

- http://www.savethearctic.org/

- http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/campaigns/climate-change/cleanourcloud/petition/

- http://www.greenpeace.org/new-zealand/en/take-action/Take-action-online/No-New-Oil-or-Coal/

- http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/campaigns/agriculture/problem/genetic-engineering/hands-off-our-rice/hands-off-our-rice/

- http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/campaigns/oceans/marine-reserves/marine-reserves-pledge/


Hope this was helpful.

Take care...*

Life´s Advice - Uplifting Songs

Good afternoon, everyone!

Today's post will be slightly diferent from usual...
I have saved a selection of songs and stuff that I personally find uplifting :
(Not in any particular order, links are in the numbers
I may have posted some in Life Blog's Facebook page, as well)

Sleepsong by Secret Garden - 1#

You raise me up by Westlife - 2#

A Hundred Thousand Angels by Bliss - 3#

This Love by Bliss - 4#

Glass House by RED - 5#

Miracle by Blackmill - 6#

Spirit of Life by Blackmill - 7#

You got to go by Above and Beyond (Owsey Remix)- 8#

Other interesting content...

• Ascension - Raising your Vibracional Frequency
• Healing Meditation by Kelly Howell
• Daily Positive Affirmations
• Reiki Music by Mind, Body and Soul Series

They bring Peace, Harmony and Strength to me.
I hope you like them and that those help you
As much as they have helped me!
Many, many blessings...!

Life´s Advice - Email Accounts

Good afternoon,

The topic for today is about Email Accounts.
As we know, email accounts are very important nowadays,
Considering such, I have decided to create a post regarding this.

There are many email providers where you can create an email account at, 
Some which are known and some aren't as much
It is up to you to decide which one to pick according to your own needs
(Index or space, environmental impact, free or paid)

I shall leave and list some links/email providers, below :

GMX (Free)

GMAIL (Free, from Google)

HOTMAIL (Free, from Microsoft)

YAHOO (Free, from Yahoo)

SAPO (Free)

IOL (Free)

COMCAST (Paid, I think)

ZON Webmail (Free)

Other place where you can create an account...

SKYPE (Free)

(You will need to install skype in your computer

It isn't exactly a email provider, it is a valuable tool to comunicate and make phone calls internacionally. It has only a username.)

There might be other domains and services.
We can always add more.
Feel free to comment if you do.

Regards.

Life´s Advice - Acceptance

Good evening , my readers ;

How are you today?
I hope you had a wonderful day, yesterday ! :D
The following post is based on some conversations that I had some days ago.

They made me meditate and consider about some points :

Such as what is needed and what we can do in order to accept others.
We should and we can start off by teaching our younger generations
Our sons, daugthers, brothers, sisters and all the remaining generations.
Thinking that we aren't a active element in our society is something that must end.

Personally, about this particular matter,
I believe that everyone needs to accept that... :

A) Life is only ours to live.
Friends and family and people around can give advice
But every final decision and choice is yours.
People ought to be either happy for you, accept your decision
Or even, at least, support you.

"There are times when we have to walk on our own
Times when we have to learn how to fly
And spread our wings".

B) We all are equal and have the right to be happy
No matter which sexual orientation we have.
Again, when we think, act and love freely
Life does seem less troubled and seems to smile for you,
(Sometimes, it really does!)
Don't you agree?

C) Everyone is unique.
We can try to talk , convince, give advice but we cannot change them.
Trying to change someone is like making them go against their own nature...
Except when we wish to someone to change/erase a bad habit
(smoking, violence or drinking habits, for example)
And when we wish that friend, family member or special someone
The best.

D) Being Tolerant
I may be mixing several subjects , yet, to be tolerant
We must learn to understand and look into our own "self"
Accept the best and the worse in us.
Then, accept that no man nor woman is perfect.

The idea and ideal of someone "perfect" can be pricey
Because, as someone wise once said :
"You may be losing diamonds while you were busy collecting stones".

This is also a process
And a journey of inner growth and maturity.

By accepting people around us...

We will feel calm, not stressed
Your mind will feel at ease
Because you won't be feeding hatred,
Nor allowing space for negativity to enter.

God bless you all  ! 

Relationships - The Heart or the looks?

Greetings everyone!
What you prefer? The heart OR the looks?

The looks may please the sight, during the first times, it is...
But what about the Heart?

NOTE: I wrote the title letter on purpose, on that one.

I aim to make people think and debate.
(Not only in this post, but that is my intention on every post of Life Blog)

(As in, a healthy discution about values.
The Heart is the most important aspect when you are either looking for someone
Or stablishing a romantic (or not) type of relationship).

NOTE: This is only my point of view.

A) Judging someone by their looks alone is not fair.
You may be losing a great "to be" friend or better half by looking at their "outter shell".
Their outside is just a shell. Inside, lies a greater treasure, the Soul, the Heart.

B) We will age...

No matter what we do and no matter how many beauty products we use.

That is the Truth. Might as long enjoy life the way it is.

Might as well, welcome wrinkles and all the positive 

and least positive things aging brings along.

What if the person is younger than you? Or older?

Who defines age gaps in relationship?

Age, for me, is a number. And if the person really (trully) loves you,

He/she will wait, will respect you and not make pressure in the relationship.

If he/she does such. he/she is not worth the waiting nor the effort.

C) Looks might trick you. Hearts can too...

I know...Can someone with bad intentions trick you forever?

I don't think so. Sooner or later, the truth will come to surface.

I believe that we have to embrace and accept ourselves 

The way we are. And others, as well.

Looks are again, as I previously said, the outer shell

The cover of the book. Decieving? Sometimes.

D) Falling in love on first sight.

May happen. May not happen.

That is, most possibly, attraction at first sight.

Knowing the person first and knowing that person well,

Is required.

Otherwise you will be leading yourself 

Into a possible mistake and/or misunderstanding within your heart.

Why?

+ Because you can create high or false expectations towards someone

And without knowing him/her properly, you may end up dissapointed.

+ Advice is to know the person well before trusting in first place

Otherwise, you may regret so OR "pay a high price".

Let everything flow naturally. 

+ Careful with the ideal of a "perfect person"

We may be fooled by the picture we create in our minds and at heart

Specially when we try at all costs 

that the "picture perfect" type of person we created

Matches the person we are seeing or are with in a relationship...

It may lead, again, to dissapointment.

+ Dreadful lies?

Little lies may look unharmful but if there is one lie after the other, after another

How do we know and mostly, how can we be sure there is a bigger lie beneath?

Atention to whom you trust and be always aware. 

Note that nobody is perfect and we ought to accept others

And see the other person the way , 

She/he IS. And not the way we want to see them.

Bottom Line : You do not need a sculptural man or woman.
You do not need someone who is beautiful on the outside.
What will it help you with when any aspect in the relationship gets rough?

Look into the heart.
I, for example, met a really amazing being
Who I share my life with.

If I were to look into that young man
To his outter shell only
I know that I would have lost a significant person in my life,

Who, allow me to say it, I love the most.

Life´s Advice - Aiming for Causes

Good morning, my readers.

For tueday's topic, I chose one particular subject
On which I have been dedicating myself to.
We all can make a diference.

My advices to feel weightless and help others as well (and yourself)

1. We cannot feel sorry for ourselves nor feel "pity". 
It is the worst thing we can do for ourselves. 

2. If we give out optimistic, positive atitudes
And show LOVE in our actions, we can and will make a diference !
(The mirror effect I spoke about, some posts before).


3. Before you dedicate yourself  to embrace causes
You need to cleanse yourself as a first step...
I shall leave a link, here is one as an example :

Aura Cleansing

Because we need to let go of everything that has caused us 
And still causes us harm.
People. Situations. Circunstances. Regrets. Ressentment.
Bitterness.

I may even reach this subject a lot, often. 
But I insist on such as it is a very important point and lesson to learn.
The sooner you do so, the sooner you will open your heart 
To new experiences and to your personal and inner renovation.

4. Another mistake people make is to put the blame exclusively on others.
That is wrong. You will be feeding a monster within you, 
Eventhough it may look easier, at first sight...

We must learn to forgive and let go... The fault may be ours as well, due to keeping our same old habits.
How will we expect to change, if everything else remains the same?

5. After cleansing,
Which Cause will you support?

Environment and Animals :

You can start by becoming an e-activist at websites like Greenpeace, PETA or HSI.
I searched for the website in English, yet, 
I believe PETA or Greenpeace have representatives in some countries.

Note - *If you have possessions, you can donate.
However, make sure to read and search about the companies before doing so*.

You can become a volunteer at your local animal shelter or support local causes.

People such as Elderly, Children ... 

You can click every day, for free.
The Hunger Site

If you have a social network site, you can "Like" We Day.
They give out one dollar per like.


You can: 

- Become a volunteer at a Hospital, Daycare or Firefighters.

- Help your local library ;

- Write articles for the school Newspaper 

- Join your school theatre group.

- Start a petition or sign a petition ;

- Organize debates or events ;

- If you have a social network site, you can "Like" We Day.
They give out one dollar per like.



Depending of your personality, 

You have plenty of causes you can join !

Will you make part ?

Relationships - Perfect?

Good evening my readers

I have been thinking this, looking at today.
So, the subject that I chose today is Relationships.
(Excuse me for the delay on posting)

Are they perfect or they can be perfect?

I leave this question for you to think and consider upon.

My opinion regarding this, is to first of all think of your relationships.
Whether of the past or current one.
Past relationships are just that : PAST.
But are a valuable lesson if you think about what went wrong, what went right
And what must or can be improved.

Now, my answer...

• There is no such thing as perfect relationship.

To be in a relationship, is to be and face commitment.
Otherwise, what is the point?

Note.: I have nothing against other types of relationships such as short term relationships
Which are based "on knowing eachother".
To know each other, you can start off by being friends,
Then build a strong and trusting friendship as a solid foundation.

A relationship, without it, may (at times) collapse.

• More than a boyfriend or girlfriend you need a person who is there for you. 

And on this point I mean both persons, as a couple.
Otherwise there is the risk of the relationship to become "one-sided".

• Comunication

About everything and nothing!
It is beautiful and healthy to talk about the daily basis,
culture, hobbies, movies, common interests.
People eventually grow old and
what is left is conversation and being there for eachother.

Comunication is also VERY important to solve things while going through bad moments.

• Trust

It is another important part and piece.

• It is not about remaining the same.

People change and their goals change as well.

Being taken or commited is also about accepting one another

The way he/she is. And adapting eachother to one another...

It is about both persons giving without always expecting in return.

It is about doing an effort, it is about surprising your better half.

• Bottom Line: 

There are no perfect relationships nor perfect persons, 

There are persons making an effort

And fighting for everything to work out.

Peace be with you!

Life´s Advice - Psychotherapy and Tools

Good evening, everyone !

I have been asked, even more than just once if I have knowledge
And/or if I am connected to Psychology.
I shall leave that for other people to evaluate.

But then, when time passes
The answer will be left at open.

I have learnt much while studying during my course
And mostly, thanks to life itself.
It can bring many,many lessons along,
IF we are willing to learn.

It is a long process
And I am going to be completly honest :
There will be times of joy, there will be sadness and frustration.
There will be tears, there will be times of exhaustion
And when you stop and look behind, you will realize
" I have achieved so much, I have changed ! "

It will be worth it and it is.
Psycotherapy was a really valuable tool and taught me many things
And still does. It is helpful because:

A) It boosts your self confidence.

B) Helps you with expressing your feelings towards someone else.
Note : Again, it will take take time .
Maybe you will feel and create empathy towards your psychologist at the first time,
Or later or even with someone else, later on.

C) Psychotherapy is where you can talk about what is troubling you
There, you can about just nothing, anything, everything.
However, if you feel like holding back, maybe you haven't created that bond
That empathy with the professional yet. It will require time, trust me.
Amongst four professionals I created a strong therapeutical bond with the first and last one.
When that happens you will feel like nothing is too difficult to tell.

It might be difficult to start if you think that that person is a stranger.
Think of it like this " I AM HERE ONLY TO GET BETTER "
And this one person IS going to HELP 
A special and unique human being : ME (YOU) "

D) Helps your thoughts...
Often, whilst a person is depressed or stressed
He or she may have difficulty in organizing his/her thoughts
And its organization.

Therapy CAN and will help you stablish goals
Then priorities, then time to do so.
As in a "TO DO LIST"

QUESTIONS : 
What do I / Aim for and wish ? 
When can I do ? When will it be?

Note : 
What - Objectives.
When - Stablishes time to accomplish and/or complete those tasks.
(When...) Will it be? - an expression which is clearly set for the future.

Another step :
First we can start off by writing down our personal goals
The ones that come to head and mind at the very start
Then others, and so on...
Afterwards you shall divide everything in two lists

Personal Goals and Professional Goals
And, yet opcional, you can also create another blank paper sheet
By the name of Dreams and Aspirations.
We all deserve so and should dream.
May those be a flame and a MOTIVATION
for you to always, always keep you head high
and have a constant motivation.

My motivation is connected to what I have achieved
Along with waking up alive every morning
Having health and keeping in mind that my work
And/or course will take me somewhere, will be useful
Or even, that I shall gain anything with them.

So, after reading this , what is your motivation?

P.S.: Feel free to comment or follow our facebook page at
https://www.facebook.com/BlogSpotLife

God bless*