quinta-feira, 25 de abril de 2013

Relationships - Expectations


Good evening everyone ,

I usually since I started to post on Tuesdays and Fridays,
I wasn't making posts in other days.
BUT today is a holiday here and I decided to make an exception.
For today (and somewhat related to the post "Treasure" on Life´s Advice)
I chose Expectations. There is more than meets the eye.
I am going to share a story with you, about my current therapy.

I go once per week at a local college of Psychology where we talk
And sometimes we have some exercises and there I gained more tools to deal with life.
I am always learning and open for changes. (Will tell more in other posts)

Therefore, the first step was to recognize a problem or a possible situation happening.
In my case, carrying high expectations had proven to be devastating.
So I told her. (The situation will be told below, I promise)

And it is, specially when one has such high expectations,
That anything the other people do isn't enough.
It never seems enough.

So I thought about the issue itself and there may a reason for it.
Lack of self esteem or affection.
Personally, if we have low self esteem
People can help us, can try to heal those wounds
But we have to find love inside of us too.
And that can prove to be quite a chalenge.

SITUATION :
I arrived to college and I had high expectations
« I am going to feel fine after this, it is all that I want and I hope it doesn't take much time »
My thoughts exactly. Then, more and more expectations were added.

I wanted so badly to feel refreshed and changed
For my loved one, for my family, for my friends
That I unconsciously overwhelmed everything with expectations.
Plus, neglected myself. I thought about nothing else.
And I was growing inpatient!

Outcome : 
Instead of draining my energy on thoughts as, for example :
«It has to be good» , «I have to feel okay» , «TODAY I have to tell x , y and z»

(They become warmful because in those cases
You are organizing things so much OR forcing something to happen
Even if it is only in your mind.
Even if it is with a good intention,
Things don't always work out the way we want)

When I stopped carrying such expectations...I NOTICED!

And if at least you throw some of them away
You will feel the diference, I guarantee.

(Because those can and seriously warm your relationships 
And you can lead yourself to disapointment
Instead it is better to be surprised through out life!)

...I just thought of nothing and went there
As in « Appointment today , we'll see how this goes »

My goal and the goal of the psychologist is for me to improve as a person.
However, there are ups and downs.
When we feel happy, unhappy, tired, annoyed, and so on...

I still want to feel fine and be the best I can be for the ones I love,
And I know I am going to reach what I have planned!
But I am not carrying the weight of the expectations with me.
I will let the appointments take their course and take one step at a time instead.

Blessings.

2 comentários:

  1. I love your goal of wanting to be the best you can be...what a wonderful goal!!

    ResponderEliminar
    Respostas
    1. I had and still have many goals, but that is my main one : to be the best I can be, for others and myself.
      What is your goal?

      God bless**

      Eliminar

Life Blog supports... Causes and People !