terça-feira, 30 de abril de 2013

Tips to Deal with Anxiety


Good evening dearest...

I usually write during the night or during the afternoon.
Then I either post at the moment or allow Blogger to do its magic.
There is this subject...that I felt unconfortable in the past to talk about.

It is night over here and I chose to write out what I was thinking about
It is a quite personal post.

Anxiety.
Again... Anxiety.

Okay, better this way, with smaller font.
I considered anxiety to be something that held me back for some years.
As a matter of fact, it gave me quite some headaches.

I must admit, I still haven't fully tamed this
But I am starting to find ways to cope and deal with it.

NOTE : Anxiety does not have to be a monster!
In a normal situation, it is acceptable or «normal» to feel nervous and worried

(To feel alarmed/nervous/insecure is a mechanism of the human being
To be aware of risks, to be grounded and focused to his/her surroundings)

BUT when it affects and disturbs your life, whether socially or psychologically
It is time to react and seek help!

POV :
When I am anxious I tend to think too much and barely function.
With these wrongs... :

«What if...?» , «I should have done/said (usually added with «more») » , 
«I could have done» , «What will happen?»
«It was my fault» , «I was not good enough» , 
«I am not ready for this...» , «I cannot do» ...and so on...

Over and over again...

Are few examples I can give out to you.
I found and sorted out some ways to deal with it
And other ways/tips to ease my mind.

When I get TOO anxious, my stomach aches
and I honestly feel like I want to cry.
Other times, eating and sleeping gets affected.
We don't have to live like this!

So I rushed to seek help and advice...
Oh and found out some ways to deal with this on my own.


What I do...not in any particular order

1. Think about good moments.
Anyone who you deeply love or inspires you greatly.
Someone you held dearly to your heart.

2. Have a lucky charm.
I once went to a store and a black stone caught my attention.
Onix. So I bought it and ever since, I carry it along with me.
In my pocket and near me when I am going to sleep.

3. Light up a candle once in a while.
Stare at the flame, keep an eye on it.
Just sitting and connecting with your «self»
Or even, thanking for the day.

4. I have...conquered . I have...achieved .
I confess I am still slowly adapting to this way of thought
Due to the fact that I had these negative thoughts
And reversed thinking pattern for so many years
That it is hard (NOT IMPOSSIBLE) to change.
It will take time, but I believe! I am trying this !

So the tip on point number 4 is to,
At the end of the day to say or think to yourself :

TODAY , I have conquered... (fill in) . 

TODAY , I have achieved... (fill in).

It does not matter if it was a silly or small achievement.
What matters is that your mind gain focus on that type of thoughts
So that it may feel at peace whether it is at night, before going to bed
Or whenever you need so.

An example : 

TODAY , 
I have conquered my goal of making through the day and learning properly.

TODAY , 
I have achieved what I had planned : to write for this blog.

5. RESCUE Thought.
When I am really, really anxious and I have the chance
I usually go to my bed and just stay there.
And try to breathe. Slowly...

Then , (can be a solution in other cases and combined to 5) 
I think to myself over and over and over again
As many times as needed , this :

« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »

NOTE : 
Thoughts are very powerful and can have a strong influence in us.
We have to reverse them, in case they are harmful.

6. Balance and Organize.
I know that something either unknown
Or unexpected is more likely to cause anxiety.
Now and then you can learn to organize your thoughts
Or your projects. That will help you deal with insecurities.

You can organize at a) mind or b) by writing out.
It can be used once in a while as a guideline or resource.

If you know what you have to do or what you will say
(for presentations) you will feel slightly less nervous
By practicing too (you can try in front of a mirror, for instance)
Presentations will become something simple.
Achievement? Your confidence will boost!

7. Write out or Talk out
I used to write my heart out or talk out with someone when I felt anxious.
It helped too... However, now
I am trying by myself to find ways (mentioned above) to cope.

8. Letting it all out
Lastly, if I do feel like I want to cry, I do cry.
If I get nervous to that point, I will...
It is better to become aware of this
Than to let those emotions burst and get out of control.

9. Reading
Reading can prove to be relaxing.
Choose your favorites
Or maybe you can choose to read a diferent type of book
One that you usually don't read.
Or you can pick Self Improvement or Guidance books.

This was my POV and Tips for the moment.
I shall add new tips from time to time
Feel free to add any suggestions or even contact us, if you would like.

Wishing you all best.

sexta-feira, 26 de abril de 2013

Depression - Meds, recent POV


Good afternoon, everyone.

It has been a while since I last wrote about Depression.
I was quite skeptical on this matter [using meds for Depression]
Truth is, I feared the unknown and the past experience was not pleasant.

I grew impatient for any results or improvements to arrive.
Which did not happen as I was not able to give time to it as well.

Note : If you are reading me, this is only my point of view regarding this
However, the right medicine for me , might not be the right for you and so on.
If you are experiencing depression, besides reading
(Which is one step already!) I advise you to seek professional help
Whether it is from a psychologist or a psychiatrist, Hospital or natural alternatives.

I would also like to add and ask you not to rush things as I did.
We all aim for a solution to our problems. I know.
I have been through it. I been through ups and downs, highs and lows, «hell and back».

But I am here. And so are you.
I have plenty to write and tell right now, at this very moment.

My point of View
[...] I decided to go to my family doctor as I was feeling very anxious
and had trouble sleeping and eating (due to stomache aches, too).

She prescribed me sleeping pills, an antidepressant and some meds for my stomache.
I started taking one antidepressant [....... toLife] it says.
I was already aware some side effects, while others took me for surprise.

OUTCOME :
Over three weeks have passed since I started treatment
The first days and until at least half of the second week I felt ill as in, nausea...
I lost appetite and 5kgs at the time. I continued to have trouble sleeping.
Some even said I was reaching the point of exhaustion.

But I kept on this treatment and held on onto it.
Plus I was still having appointments at a local psychology college
Giving up was and is not an option. Ever.

So I mainly took the decision of finding ways, tools, resources to relax.
To send any traces of anxiety away. I had to learn to wait.
Because I found out that if I was not that anxious,
I was going to be able to eat and sleep properly, with time.

Afterwards, I am still having a bit of trouble with eating
But my goal is to gain the weight again
Besides feeling better in all the other aspects of Life.
I noticed that I have been feeling calm and I am gaining energy again.
It is getting easier to sleep.

I am hoping to be back on track, renewed.
That and all the other steps I took ,
I shall leave them for another post.

Blessings.

quinta-feira, 25 de abril de 2013

Relationships - Expectations


Good evening everyone ,

I usually since I started to post on Tuesdays and Fridays,
I wasn't making posts in other days.
BUT today is a holiday here and I decided to make an exception.
For today (and somewhat related to the post "Treasure" on Life´s Advice)
I chose Expectations. There is more than meets the eye.
I am going to share a story with you, about my current therapy.

I go once per week at a local college of Psychology where we talk
And sometimes we have some exercises and there I gained more tools to deal with life.
I am always learning and open for changes. (Will tell more in other posts)

Therefore, the first step was to recognize a problem or a possible situation happening.
In my case, carrying high expectations had proven to be devastating.
So I told her. (The situation will be told below, I promise)

And it is, specially when one has such high expectations,
That anything the other people do isn't enough.
It never seems enough.

So I thought about the issue itself and there may a reason for it.
Lack of self esteem or affection.
Personally, if we have low self esteem
People can help us, can try to heal those wounds
But we have to find love inside of us too.
And that can prove to be quite a chalenge.

SITUATION :
I arrived to college and I had high expectations
« I am going to feel fine after this, it is all that I want and I hope it doesn't take much time »
My thoughts exactly. Then, more and more expectations were added.

I wanted so badly to feel refreshed and changed
For my loved one, for my family, for my friends
That I unconsciously overwhelmed everything with expectations.
Plus, neglected myself. I thought about nothing else.
And I was growing inpatient!

Outcome : 
Instead of draining my energy on thoughts as, for example :
«It has to be good» , «I have to feel okay» , «TODAY I have to tell x , y and z»

(They become warmful because in those cases
You are organizing things so much OR forcing something to happen
Even if it is only in your mind.
Even if it is with a good intention,
Things don't always work out the way we want)

When I stopped carrying such expectations...I NOTICED!

And if at least you throw some of them away
You will feel the diference, I guarantee.

(Because those can and seriously warm your relationships 
And you can lead yourself to disapointment
Instead it is better to be surprised through out life!)

...I just thought of nothing and went there
As in « Appointment today , we'll see how this goes »

My goal and the goal of the psychologist is for me to improve as a person.
However, there are ups and downs.
When we feel happy, unhappy, tired, annoyed, and so on...

I still want to feel fine and be the best I can be for the ones I love,
And I know I am going to reach what I have planned!
But I am not carrying the weight of the expectations with me.
I will let the appointments take their course and take one step at a time instead.

Blessings.

Relationships - Expectations


Good evening everyone ,

I usually since I started to post on Tuesdays and Fridays,
I wasn't making posts in other days.
BUT today is a holiday here and I decided to make an exception.
For today (and somewhat related to the post "Treasure" on Life´s Advice)
I chose Expectations. There is more than meets the eye.
I am going to share a story with you, about my current therapy.

I go once per week at a local college of Psychology where we talk
And sometimes we have some exercises and there I gained more tools to deal with life.
I am always learning and open for changes. (Will tell more in other posts)

Therefore, the first step was to recognize a problem or a possible situation happening.
In my case, carrying high expectations had proven to be devastating.
So I told her. (The situation will be told below, I promise)

And it is, specially when one has such high expectations,
That anything the other people do isn't enough.
It never seems enough.

So I thought about the issue itself and there may a reason for it.
Lack of self esteem or affection.
Personally, if we have low self esteem
People can help us, can try to heal those wounds
But we have to find love inside of us too.
And that can prove to be quite a chalenge.

SITUATION :
I arrived to college and I had high expectations
« I am going to feel fine after this, it is all that I want and I hope it doesn't take much time »
My thoughts exactly. Then, more and more expectations were added.

I wanted so badly to feel refreshed and changed
For my loved one, for my family, for my friends
That I unconsciously overwhelmed everything with expectations.
Plus, neglected myself. I thought about nothing else.
And I was growing inpatient!

Outcome : 
Instead of draining my energy on thoughts as, for example :
«It has to be good» , «I have to feel okay» , «TODAY I have to tell x , y and z»

(They become warmful because in those cases
You are organizing things so much OR forcing something to happen
Even if it is only in your mind.
Even if it is with a good intention,
Things don't always work out the way we want)

When I stopped carrying such expectations...I NOTICED!

And if at least you throw some of them away
You will feel the diference, I guarantee.

(Because those can and seriously warm your relationships 
And you can lead yourself to disapointment
Instead it is better to be surprised through out life!)

...I just thought of nothing and went there
As in « Appointment today , we'll see how this goes »

My goal and the goal of the psychologist is for me to improve as a person.
However, there are ups and downs.
When we feel happy, unhappy, tired, annoyed, and so on...

I still want to feel fine and be the best I can be for the ones I love,
And I know I am going to reach what I have planned!
But I am not carrying the weight of the expectations with me.
I will let the appointments take their course and take one step at a time instead.

Blessings.

terça-feira, 23 de abril de 2013

Life´s Advice - Treasure


Greetings, my readers.

One lesson to learn is that we have to give value to other people.
Because, we may be giving attencion to ones who are not actually there when needed.
At all. We might be expecting too much or even,
Overload others with (often unrealistic) demands.

ALSO and very important too...
We are probably missing out much
And losing the ones we love the most because of those.

How much do words carry in value , over time ?
Quite a part of value, but not all of of it
Atitude means way more, to run that extra mile, to call your significant other
To do crazy things.
To text, to message that person and let him/her know that you are there.
To wait.
To have the guts to change and admit the wrongs, and turn those flaws around.

Because I , you , we are human.
We all make mistakes.
We are not perfect
We all carry regrets along
But what makes the diference is to actually change and fulfill that promise.

P.S.: I promise you, W.

Blessed be.

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