sexta-feira, 26 de agosto de 2011

Relationships - Why they fail

Good afternoon everyone!

The subject I bring for you today is...
"Why do some relationships do not work out?"

In this I mean in a LDR to non-LDR relationships.
I want to help you!
Any feedbacks, my contact is on the blog.

A ) Expectations aren't discussed.
You need to talk with your partner about what you expect
Specially in a Long Distance Relationship
No one guesses what you are thinking.

B ) Secrets are kept in between
Such thing is like poison :
Slow but destroys and kills.
Plus it gives out a environment of no trust between the two
So, for the sake of your relationship, keep things honest.

C ) Not telling the truth
Also known as Lying,
There will come a time when your significant other
Will not know if you are speaking the truth or not
And believe me, that is one step for the relationship
To be damaged or even crash down.

I personally would rather tell a hurtful thing but true
Than pleasant, constant lies.
Lying involves more lying. A vicious cycle.
It isn't good at all!

D ) Too much "Public" and Mediatic Relationship.
This one is for Celebrities and Non Celebrities
Do not allow anyone to step in
and gossip about your relationship
DO NOT make it public.
I saw about it once...
It only brings up more drama,
More argues and instability
If you aren't into that, please avoid it.

To end point D)...
I believe that if a problem or argue is happening
Or if you have something such as critics to say to your partner
Save it for later, for a private moment or chat
NEVER release it for others to see.

A wise quote :
Praise in Public,
Criticize in Private

-- Unknown

E) Issues aren't discussed
If they aren't discussed either
Or if problems remain it can turn
into a "snowball effect"
it isn't healthy for the relationship.

F) Past isn't Closed.
It is something that comes silently...
But it is very,very harmful!
You need to forgive your other half
From Past Mistakes, Break Ups, ect.
It takes a lot of "guts" and a very serious conversation.
There MUST be the promise of not doing it ever again.
If this isn't closed, the balance of your relationship
WILL surely be affected.

G) Betrayal, other person appears.
Just no... the trust is too much affected
There must be real regret and apologies
Otherwise, I'm sorry but it is better to let it go
You deserve better!

H) When the relationship isn't discussed
If it is a flirt, nightstand, some months thing
or a short to long term relationship
Eventhough it is hard to face, you need to know...
Not only by asking but by reading between the lines
Of the way your better half talks with you
Or even if he/she contacts you, ect.

I) A non-assumed Relationship
Seems a little too much?
Not quite. If it is a non assumed Relationship
There is something blocking the other from assuming
I don't say like to force the other to assume
But actually assuming the Relationship
Wearing a ring, etc
Brings a bit more safety to one of the persons
Or even both.

May your relationship go well!

quarta-feira, 24 de agosto de 2011

Relationships - Marriage

I personally never got married
and currently I don't think I would
As it is a really important decision in one's life as a first
Plus some marriages are a bit expensive and have to have a lot planned.
Third as it is an important decision and step...between two persons.
A change as it is the union between two people.

God is to stand as a witness of that union.
A union that only would be to happen once


Yet I do understand Divorce and I make some exceptions to that,
And God (not Church) would understand that too...
But that would be a subject for later.

Marriage is one decision that will change your life
As you will eventually do your life as a couple
Which includes... sharing a place/house with your significant other, sharing a space, bills/money related subjects. A legal and oficial union, on the other hand as I said, one supported and seen by God Himself. As so, it is not to take lightly in mood nor decision.

Again, in my point of view I think only one should get married
When he/she is sure that the person he/she decides to marry
With is going to be the one to live the good and least good moments.
As well to be aware that crisis can come or disease
Or even other factors as stress or argues, ect.
Not everything is good nor everything is bad!

1. I think the couple must know eachotother well enough
Before taking this step.
It is a big change and not always the couples are 100% ready for it.
It should be intended to be a long term relationship.

2. Each member of the couple should preferably
Have completely individual savings with some ammount of money
before making one account as a couple

3. They evetually should or must learn to share stuff with eachother
If not, argues are likely to occur.

4. Trust and respect are very important points!

5. Being faithful too. What is the point of marrying someone
If one of the members of the couple is unfaithful in anyway?
NOTE : By unfaithful I mean one who goes to online dating,
Chats with the point/goal of finding someone
Else EVEN if by a short term of time or multiple times
It is plain wrong!

6. More wrong is actually one getting envolved sexually
While married! Here comes the point of respect
Because the vows said something diferent.
Then trust appears as well as the other expected
probably better atitudes from you
AND MOSTLY, being the only One wanted,
Loved and cherished and never to be second or third, etc.

7. OTHER point... Lack of time
We all know that we have to work, we have to get a job
In order to be financely stable and in order to pay the bills...
And lack of time can happen.

" If it is all genuine,
It will stay strong despite of the lack of time ".


8. Routine can arrive in the relationship/marriage.
Yet, you can always surprise your partner
By going out to lunch or dinner somewhere new
Offering a gift once in a while or flowers...
Writing something for the partner, leaving small notes
Going somewhere quiet or going to the movies
OR making something diferent at home if both don't have money

9. MONEY isn't needed to spend great moments
With your significant other. Some creativity is.
You could try some new recipes together,
OR actually creating new recipes...
You can watch a movie in the confort of your home
By renting a movie.

(You could bring popcorns along
Or order a pizza)

10. Traveling. Be aware of priorities but if you can,
Save a little money for a trip somewhere near or not.
But by saving, I mean saving a only bit per month.
All the effort will be worth it.

11. Stimulate comunication too
(See post Relationships - Balance...)
By getting diferent subjects to talk about.
Going to diferent places CAN help you with talking more
Seeing new places actually CAN be fun!
(See post Walk, Walk, Walk)

For now these are my advices.
If I remember of anything else either
I or Wordskeeper shall add to the post.

Take care everyone!

segunda-feira, 22 de agosto de 2011

Job - Warning Signs

The sun shines over here and it isn't late so...
Good morning everyone :)

In this post I am going to speak about a very important subject
Because I do not want anyone to fall into any trap
Like I once did. Why?
Because I don't want you to go through it. <3


There are several signs that CAN help you a LOT
They appear simple but regardless of that I want you to know.
I know I have said some on another post about interviews and steps.

BASICS FOR YOU :
1) Beware while posting free ads on the Internet
Select only the most important information
AND be as clear as possible
about the job that you are searching for. 

2) Be careful about the information you give out.

-------------

BASICS ABOUT COMPANIES
A) Try to know more about the company, for instance,
If it is reliable by asking about it to someone
or checking about it online.

B) As I said on the other post , check the email of the person
Who sends you the job offer on Google OR other search engine
That can save you and spare you from the lies or problems.

C) Or even the name of the employer if you are suspecting even more.
That can make you see the activity on the Internet.

D) Check the way the employer wrote to you.
Too many typos, it is a warning!

E) Adress...
The person who calls you for an interview
MUST know where you have to go for the interview
Without hesitations NOR mistakes.

F) Being Polite.
If you are to have any collegues, check the way they are treated on that day.
And if they aren't, please reconsider for a while.


EXPLANATIONS...
A) A unknown company is a bit dangerous at times
And...by checking online you can see feedbacks whether they are positive
Or negative such as frauds for example.

B) By checking you can see the usual offers from that person
There can be lies, you will never know.
For example one person has sent me an offer for a Secretary
And when I searched there was something for an Acompany Lady.
So when you confirm your suspicions DO NOT answer.       

C) I tell you about this because the person can be one that only wants to meet girls/boys, ect
And not one to actually offer you the job he/she "promissed".

D) A Employer can write well and has had some years in School, College or University
It is a Basic on Education. Please suspect if such happens.

E) It has no excuse.

F) This point helps you to reflect if the offer or company is the best for you.

Have a nice day <3 !

sábado, 20 de agosto de 2011

Job - Respect

Greetings,

I must say my "Current Job" post has some time already
So I am going to talk about my current job...
I basically call people and ask them to do surveys
Opinion surveys. It is like a Callcenter.

And we do such and maybe interviews personally too
But now I'm only doing on the phone
The payment isn't much either but it is something at least

We have several projects to go do surveys
and contact people from diferent parts of the country
for them to answer.

Basically it isn't sales BUT people think they are...
Another thing that occurs is that most people do NOT respect
Others that are working!

So my question would be :
Do I look like I like working every weekend
And even having to work today (Monday)
Which is an Holiday over here??

Well, NO. But it is my job...
But mostly what bothers me is that people laugh at me
OR make stupid excuses like
"No one is at home, you're talking with the cleaning lady"
"No one is at home (but someone answered the phone?)

OR say something such as...
Q : When would be the proper time to contact again?
A : I don't know, just keep trying! (Right...)

OR :
Q : Could I count with your colaboration in this study?
A : NO! (laughs)

OR :
(I finished talking)
Q (other person there) : Who is that?
A (from the person on the phone) : Just some girl. And hung up.

OR EVEN :
Some just hung up the phone without giving me the chance to talk
Or just hung up while I'm talking.

...I'm not forcing people to answer
But at least I would like some colaboration from them.
I was 4 hours with ONE survey done....
And that survey was incomplete in the middle.
I had to fill out the rest.

Now you shall know how frustrating that is a bit.
Then to brighten up my day there are like one or two persons on the phone
(No more than one or two) who talk a lot, that are really polite
Who answer the survey gladly. And for those I do like my work!

Why did I make this post?
As a "wake up" message. We all have to work for a living.
Whether is sales, surveys, do cleaning or being a waitress , ect...
Please respect the ones who work because they have to, to earn money
I guess it is pretty much it and I was venting too.

Note : Despite of any hatred or bad answer
Love your job as the only one you have
and as you are a lucky person to even have one.

At last but definately not least...
I shall leave this quote for you <3

Nobody can hurt me
without my permission.


Mahatma Gandhi

Blessed be!

quinta-feira, 18 de agosto de 2011

Job - Safety and Tips

Hello and have a lovely week , readers!
While searching for a job, be aware of safety.

-- SAFETY --

1. When someone sends you a job offer, often try to put the email adress in Google
Or another Search Engine.
That way you can learn what type of offers that person
Or company often send out or publish on the Internet.
I saved myself from some offers that didn't matched what they told me AT ALL.
Better safe than sorry <3 2. Just send your resume or CV when you are sure And about to accept the job offer. If the person hasn't given much information, ask for it. Then search to see if the company is legitimate and decide. 3. Suspect of high payments specially when it isn't a very demanding job Nor a job that requires a lot of responsabilities. 4. Clear out any doubts you have with the company.  

-- INTERVIEWS --

1. Pay close attention to your phone or email adress after sending your resume
Because companies CAN contact you anytime.

2. When the company calls or contacts through email,
Take notes of the place, hour and day that the interview is going to happen.

3. Check prior the place where the interview is going to be
For that you can use Google Earth or Google Maps
So you won't get lost nor have any unpleasant surprises on the way.

4. Check prior about the company you are a candidate for.
Not only to see if it is a real and/or known company
But too, to be prepared for the interview
and know some stuff about the company when you get there.

5. Take someone with you if you want,
To go with you just near the adress.

6. Try to go a bit before the time set by the company
They evaluate that a lot, if you arrive in time
And if you go to the interview in the data set at all.

7. Other thing to mind is the way you get dressed in
Depends of the company.
But avoid slippers, tracksuits and open shoes for an interview
Look professional BUT not too formal.
Not too "sloppy" either. Just normal.

8. Bring along a suitcase or a organizer
Where you can bring...
+ Copies of your resume
(In case they need so OR in case you find a nearby store that needs staff)

+ Copies of volunteer proofs, courses, highschool OR college certificates
(Always good to bring along)

+ Either a small agenda OR clean A4/A5 format paper
(You will never know if you will need to take notes during the interview
OR if while you are on formation [typo?]).

Kind regards,

quarta-feira, 17 de agosto de 2011

Inspiring Songs XII

One more inspiring song created in 1998 by Midge Ure called Breathe.







The Lyrics:



(Breathe)

With every waking breath I breathe

I see what life has dealt to me

With every sadness I deny

I feel a chance inside me die



Give me a taste of something new

To touch to hold to pull me through

Send me a guiding light that shines

Across this darkened life of mine



Breathe some soul in me

Breathe your gift of love to me

Breathe life to lay 'fore me

Breathe to make me breathe



For every man who built a home

A paper promise for his own

He fights against an open flow

Of lies and failures, we all know



To those who have and who have not

How can you live with what you've got?

Give me a touch of something sure

I could be happy evermore



Breathe some soul in me

Breathe your gift of love to me

Breathe life to lay 'fore me

To see to make me breathe



Breathe your honesty

Breathe your innocence to me

Breathe your word and set me free

Breathe to make me breathe



This life prepares the strangest things

The dreams we dream of what life brings

The highest highs can turn around

To sow love¹s seeds on stony ground



Breathe

Breathe



Breathe some soul in me

Breathe your gift of love to me

Breathe life to lay 'fore me

To see to make me breathe



Breathe your honesty

Breathe your innocence to me

Breathe your word and set me free

Breathe to make me breathe



I hope everyone likes it! Both the music and lyrics belong to Midge Ure

Inspiring Songs XII

One more inspiring song created in 1998 by Midge Ure called Breathe.



The Lyrics:

(Breathe)
With every waking breath I breathe
I see what life has dealt to me
With every sadness I deny
I feel a chance inside me die

Give me a taste of something new
To touch to hold to pull me through
Send me a guiding light that shines
Across this darkened life of mine

Breathe some soul in me
Breathe your gift of love to me
Breathe life to lay 'fore me
Breathe to make me breathe

For every man who built a home
A paper promise for his own
He fights against an open flow
Of lies and failures, we all know

To those who have and who have not
How can you live with what you've got?
Give me a touch of something sure
I could be happy evermore

Breathe some soul in me
Breathe your gift of love to me
Breathe life to lay 'fore me
To see to make me breathe

Breathe your honesty
Breathe your innocence to me
Breathe your word and set me free
Breathe to make me breathe

This life prepares the strangest things
The dreams we dream of what life brings
The highest highs can turn around
To sow love¹s seeds on stony ground

Breathe
Breathe

Breathe some soul in me
Breathe your gift of love to me
Breathe life to lay 'fore me
To see to make me breathe

Breathe your honesty
Breathe your innocence to me
Breathe your word and set me free
Breathe to make me breathe

I hope everyone likes it! Both the music and lyrics belong to Midge Ure

domingo, 14 de agosto de 2011

Job - Interviews


-- DURING INTERVIEWS --

Most frequent questions are...

1 ) Where did you heard about this company OR Why did you chose this company?

2 ) They are likely to ask about your qualities (plus)
and possible flaws (minus) at work.

3 ) They can ask about your hobbies or what do you do during your freetime
It just happened to me twice.

4 ) Why they must choose you?
(This one is meant to "highlight" you from the remaining candidates
It is a very important question)

The never do's

A ) Avoid speaking badly of other companies where you were at.

B ) Do not interupt the interviewer while he/she is talking.

C ) Avoid hesitating while answering.

D ) Avoid totally losing your eye contact or distract yourself
Or looking to other way.
(Reason ? Sometimes when people lie, they do that.
Interviewers evaluate a LOT the body language
And what you have to say, so please be careful)

E ) Make your remaining questions in the end.

F ) Avoid giving out the sugestion of the payment
Or throwing to the table how many $, £ or € you are going to earn.
Some do not like that, others accept.
I do that more for safety and only if they ask I give out a number
Not too high, not too low, just what is expected.

G ) Wait for an answer.
Either way, keep up your determination and confidence while searching for a job.

---

Good luck on getting a job!

Many blessings,

sexta-feira, 12 de agosto de 2011

Social - Chatting

The sky gets darker here where I live at
So, goodnight everyone!
One recent subject I am going to talk about are chatrooms.
There are a whole lot of them nowadays plus social networks,
Some on which I shall not go in detail about.

That leads to other subjects...
Safety
a) I advice you to use a nickname, something far from your real name

b) Avoid putting your age or year of birth in there or in your email adress.

c) Avoid spreading/exposing too much information online
Such as pictures (mainly avoid ones that expose you too much or indicate porn/nudity)
Important files or documents.

d) Get to know the person well.

e) DON'T give out your adress.

f) When about to personally meet someone choose a public and crowded place
Think VERY carefully before deciding to meet someone you spoke with online.
Going from online to "real life" takes some steps...

h) ...and be aware that he/she might be a bit diferent than what you imagined
Or maybe not; I do not mean to be unpleasant, just giving a bit of a alert
Because I care for you all.

i) If you are a parent, be careful if a underage person is online
Always take the basic safety measures.
Specially nowadays, you will never know who can be at the other side
Of the screen or on the other side of the keyboard
As some can and do fake their true identity for other ends.

j) Avoid sending pictures and other stuff.


My point of view...
I was around a year or two in chatrooms,
And I am ready enough to speak a bit about this experience.

I found people who wanted only to talk about sex or see me in a webcam
On which I blocked and ignored right away.
And others who were friendly.
So choose your contacts well and wisely.

I mainly advice not to search for a relationship in chatrooms
Let things happen naturally, do not force them to happen
Nor feel desperate about it. It will happen in it's time.

And yes, I only searched for friends in the chatroom where I was.
I found a bit of rude people and friendly too.
I don't use chatrooms anymore as I was just curious before.
I let it go eventually and started going out more
And going social at school or events about poetry and prose releases.


In the meantime,
I will be wishing the best for you.

------------------------------------------------------

segunda-feira, 8 de agosto de 2011

Relationships - Balance and Subjects

One more post, as requested regarding Relationships;
Forgive me in advance for the lack of posts here in Life Blog
Yet, sometimes I have too much work at hands
or reaching Internet is a little troubled.

Now getting to some subjects that ARE important in any relationship,
Whether it is Friendship, Love or Family relatives.

1) Listen
I know sometimes (at least it happens to me now and then)
You want to talk a lot

Especially if, like me you have the tiny problem of forgetting what you were talking about.

How do I solve this? I try my best to remember
In which part or point I was in the conversation

I think my friends got used to it, it isn't funny to forget stuff...
But oh well, I try to see something fun out of it,
Otherwise it would be a total bummer
To whoever was with me at the moment!
They help me remember…

As first, I do try to remember the subject and talk
Then I let the other person or persons in the group to talk
So I can see what exactly they think about x or y subject.
That is where it gets interesting.
Then the conversation can go on
Or we can skip/change to another subject
...If we all want or agree.

Believe me, there are two things about changing subjects…

Bright side:
There will be constantly a lot to talk about
And it might not get boring.

Negative part of it:
Changing conversation subjects too fast
Might get annoying often.

2) Talk
I am pretty sure that if people invited you or if you invited them
You want to hear from them and/or
They likely want to hear from you
So don't be afraid to talk
YET avoid making too much questions at the same time.

3) What to talk / write about?
It mostly depends of the person and of the occasion itself.

Family:
Daily basis subjects, school/work, culture/music and movies.
Best times to talk are when you go to any event,
Family gathering, museum, ect....
Or when you gather while on meals

(Mostly lunch and dinner because much people might be in a hurry while eating breakfast, specially if the person or persons go to work early morning)

Basics: when you start contact with someone whether
It is by writing or personally
Make basic questions to him/her…
I will try to give some tips, here!


Music
Favorite band, singer, if he/she has ever went to a concert
Or saw a certain band live, movie soundtracks, favorite song,
most annoying or disliked songs,
show random music or bands and ask his/her opinion,
show music clips or videos,
new artists and bands (no matter which country they are from),
if you know how to play an instrument
show it and teach him/her with time and if he/she wants,…

Culture
If you are both from different cultures
or countries you can talk about your differences
in a healthy way without breaking into an argue.
It is all about the way you talk towards your friend
or even significant other.

Respect IS NEEDED above all in a conversation.

As for Culture… you can speak about Politics…
Yet if you think this is rather boring…
You can talk about the “good” and “less good”
In your country/city, the weather in a random way,
Plans for Summer or for School
(if you are reading me when school is about to start).

You can talk about books,
If he/she enjoys reading and what type of books/author,
Discuss a bit by trading different points of view.

You can learn his/her language and he/she can learn yours.
Then you can test each others knowledge
by doing some questions and tiny tests.

Other things, such as hobbies,
What the person enjoys doing during the free time.
Share daily basis subjects,
Like your day at school or at work.
Ask him/her the same.
Show that you truly care. <3 Cosmetics, beauty habits, ECT
Some enjoy talking about cosmetics,
beauty and fashion…depends of the person.

Zen

Sports
His/her favorite sport or favorite sports team/player;
Expectations for the championship….
If he/she practices or
would ever wish to practice any type of sport
if he/she had the chance.

Pets
What pets does he/she have now
and which ones would he/she like to have in the future?
What is your favorite animal/pet?
Have you ever been in a Zoo?
If so, what do you think of them?

NOTE : If I remember more subjects,
Either I or Wordskeeper shall add them
Here in this post.

Have a wonderful week...

Relationships - Violence

Do you feel better now
When she falls to the ground?


Unfortunately violence
During marriage or violence while dating is sometimes real.
Or domestic violence.

I believe it is a subject that has to be exposed
And eventually be solved/ sorted out.

As some of my posts show, I am against violence...
Against other persons no matter their age or animals.
It is wrong.

And violence against your significant other
Is even worse in my eyes. Your wife or your husband...
She or he is supposed to be the one
Who you shared your matrimonial vows with
On which includes...
Standing with that person through,

"...Health or disease
...Happiness or Sadness
...Richness or Poor
Until Death do us part."


Not that unrelated the vows because
either one of those while the couple is in "crisis"
Can generate argues and other times,
Violence when one or both
are highly exposed to a stressful enviromment.

...Continuing, violence isn't necessary at all
to expose your points of view
Forcing your significant to agree
on whatever you say isn't a good start
To any relationship.

We all have our individual opinions and capacity to think.
And believe me, all it takes is to TALK.
Talk, never shouting. And respecting.

Types of violence...
~ Physical
~ Psychological

Explanation :
~ Physical violence includes -
Pushing, grabbing, punching/kicking,
Pulling hair, throwing objects...
Anything that intencionaly hurts the other physically.

~ Psychological violence includes -
Intimidating (through messages or personally),
threatning, manipulating...playing with one's mind,
forcing to do what the other doesn't agree,
restrict money, controlling (through messages, personally
or through simple things as accounts, conversations, ect.)
Insulting or cursing towards the significant other with the intention
of making the person feel or to bring the person down.

--

Factors that can worsen Violence
~ Alcohol
~ Substance abuse

Explanation :
One of those or the two completely change the person
I don't say this as an excuse, though.


Factors that are needed to lessen or erase violence
~ Comunication
~ RESPECT
~ Trust
~ Time

Explanation :
I shall advice if you or your significant other
If one of you is about to "snap"
take like 15 up to 20 minutes
Or a bit more to one of you. Go out or go to separate rooms
So you can think a bit and not act in the "heat of the moment"
Or, under stress and anger...

If going to separate rooms didn't solved your problem...
a ) Go out a bit, walk... then come back.

b ) Hop in the shower (cold) or in the bathtub (warm)
In order to relax or think a bit on your own.

c ) Go talk with your partner
and try to say you two can talk
the next day about what is disturbing him/her.

Other little something :
1) Violence isn't healthy in a relationship.

2) If your a victim of such, do not lock yourself up nor suffer in silence

3) You will never know that while you hit on your soulmate, your other half
Someone maybe (a little maybe) would like to held him/her and treat him/her respectfully.

4) There are around 4 million people in the world (or more now?)
YET... your wife, your husband chose YOU.
Amongst so many people.
You are taken or if you're married, think of the good moments too
It is never too late to repair the damages.
What is needed is pacience, love, comunication
And the promise (to keep) that the violent events will not happen again.

A song sugestion a bit about the subject...

( Música - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face down )

Take care and peace be with you!

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