quinta-feira, 16 de junho de 2011

No Ordinary Boy

I am not an ordinary boy, and I am proud of it.

I do not share the same thoughts or points of view that are so deeply included in our society's mind. I do not agree with a lot of those points of view.

Society nowadays is only good for those that are considered beautifull in it's eyes. Altough being left alone because of the looks is already bad, the concept of beauty nowadays is completely wrong! Why would someone that is near a skeleton be considered beautifull, while someone with just a bit more weight, be called fat?

No, Sorry! I do not agree with that, and to be honest, I don't like that type of body, being it on males or females, in old people or in young people.

Another point of view I highly disagree in today's society is that a man, is only a real man if they have a lot of girlfriends and lovers. Sorry, but I do not think like that too... If I want a girlfriend is because I love her and she loves me. Why would I want less?

I have a few more points of view that I shall later post here. But why do I think like this? I have still a short time of life, but in that time, I learned a lot.

Things are beautiful if you love them.
- Jean Anouilh

Beauty is in the heart of the beholder.
- Al Bernstein

My background? Well it's a bit complicated.

Life as kinda easy until I was 10, when I went to the 5th grade. Since that time I was always overweight and, well kids can be mean. Until my 10th grade I was excluded and mocked while I was in that school.

I won't lie. It was hard. Boys would mock me, girls would be mocked if they were my friends. I do think that somehow from this bad I learned a lot.

More, lots of problems at home with my father (my mother is an awesome person!).
I can tell that I loved weekdays and hated weekends...because he would be home in weekends. He wasn't an abusive father or something like that, he just needs everything has he wants and loves to lie and be kinda hard on me.

Until not long ago, I can tell you that I had a lot of difficulty on confronting him, because I was afraid to hurt him and that he would stop loving me. I was told many times that was not thw right way and that I was hurting myself for keeping everything to me instead of talking.

They were right. I am an adult and so is he. We can talk. The lies that he will tell... well can't do anything about that. He lies like a fish needs water but well, I just have to not give any meaning to it. I am way more distant from him than I ever was. It was needed, for my own good.

There are things that are hard to forgive. Hearing a father saying he has shame of walking with me cause i'm fat, in a time I needed my family the most... is just...SAD.

But now, my life is turning around! It's finnally getting better! I'm losing a lot of weight, I have an awesome girlfriend that is one of the best persons I ever met that loves me for who I am and not for what I look like. She is helping me a lot!

Hopefully all your lifes can turn around and be good like mine is starting to be!
I will pray for you all!

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