sábado, 22 de janeiro de 2011

Depression : Events and Updates

I haven't wrote in here for some time
Working. Working. As for depression...
It still keeps building and kicking in.
So I decided to reach for help again

I have a new psychologist
Who I will meet next month.
Wish me luck...
It is (at least for me) to rewind "my life"
To someone new...who I've met in that exact time.
Each step must be not be taken lightly
And each step must be treasured by others.

I've decided to come back...
There aren't anymore excuses.
I now am in conditions to proceed what I was doing before.
I'm not in a psychiatrist yet.
Why? (you might be wondering)

She said I'm too young to take pills - she thinks so.
But if they consider it WILL get better that way
They will notify me...I'ld be the first to know.
More exams will be done as well

As my psychologist believes my depression
has a role/influence in my memory (Psychological)
So as the head trauma (Physical..check "Wake up Call I,II)
Which does make me unconfortable...
Specially while I'm working or doing something
Is when my memory fails and my mind deceives me
Very oftenly.

Example : I forget what I'm talking about
I forget where I place keys,objects...
AND that makes me anxious, doubting AND stressed.
I've stopped writting due to lack of inspiration.

Other / Condition :
I've lost weight which some people have noticed
Even myself. I've stopped cutting ;
So far I haven't got anything
To lead me to a relapse.
So that IS good news.
BUT I feel very unstable inside.
I feel unhappy.

Negative : Not even a glimpse of happiness
Not even a real smile. Nothing.
Come on! I have reasons to smile...

Positive : I have a job .
SI hasn't been in my thoughts...
I have someone by my side
Who does his best to support me.
From my friends few have been here...
I thank them a lot, many blesses to them.

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