sábado, 6 de novembro de 2010

Self Esteem I

...I thought that things
Were finally going alright ;
And that work would be payed.
Instead she likes to take me to places
Just to see things and such

Then dinner. I don't want to sound ungrateful
In fact, let's say my expectations are broken...
I could have gone home
And have dinner with my "family"
She (sis) says she is
...Trying to get me out of my "vegetable" type of life.
Then I had some other things
That I had to hear and shut up...

She says it is for my own good
And that she is trying to help me ;
Is it? I hear things like :

"You're not entering in the car right ,
You're looking like a corcunda!".

"You're not walking
with your feet straight..."
(Guess what? I was born like this...)

"You're too shy
and embaraced towards people"

Believe me , it hurts.
Yesterday we went to the hair salon
Because she wanted to get her hair done
I was trying to be outside
But my sister turned back and told me to get in.
My self esteem lost some points
And broke into pieces.

To be honest, I miss my long hair...I really do....
There I was trying to cover that all ;
I was hours waiting and with this feeling inside of me
A knot in my throat.
I was head down, texting a friend
I wanted to cry my eyes out already.
But I couldn't,
People would notice that obviously...

Night :
Not so famous we had dinner...me and my sister.
At home the neighbors were there again.
My sis went to put my hair straight ;
It looked alright...sort of.
I will have to wait quite some time
For my hair to grow again...

As my hair was a little better than usual
So I asked her if she could take me some pics...
More criticizing regarding the color quality
She said I looked like a zombie in some...
Then that others were alright ;

She told I looked angry...upset...
I told her it was "nothing"
and I kept on listening to music.
I ended up talking with her;

She replied that she...
Was saying those things for my own good
(Really? There are other ways of saying)
And that she didn't wanted for me to made fun of
While we were the two going out (...)

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