domingo, 14 de novembro de 2010

sábado, 13 de novembro de 2010

Situations I

Well I was around myspace (as usual)
This PT person went all darth vader moment with me
It was funny but hella annoying as well

"With the power of my mind you will give
me your email and not so useful info about you"

Me : (wtf moment)
A Starwars guy...
XD If you want to talk, talk here

He said the messaging thing was slow
I said IM then.
He asked for my number service
I said 91. Nothing more.

He commented on my height...
- Are you really 1,46?
So short...

- And your (age)...you must be younger than that.
Me : Yes. and that is really my age.

- Criticized short people as less inteligent
and having less space for brain in the cranium/skull

Me, thought : [hmm.. according to studies short people
are more likely to have cardiac problems
as other problems. as for the part of those crappy things
short people have more oxygen in their brain
than tall people]

- Ó caralho, és comprometida. Bela merda.
Gajas comprometidas são tão úteis quando uma impressora sem tinta.
[F*ck, you're commited. Great sh*t.
Commited girls are as useful as a printer with no ink]

Me : Long story and that comment wasn't necessary.
Thought: At last someone read my f*cking profile --'
And that comment already shows the type of person he is
And I rather be a inkless but happy printer
Than a useless, criticizing printer...lmao --'

Flaws

If I may ask...
What are your flaws ?


No one is perfect , that is a start on my p.o.v.
BUT for someone you might just be that.
(One person popped in my thoughts :$)

I consider as my flaws...
Physical :
- My way of walking,
- Those things only one or two persons know
- Bending my back... :/

Psichological :
- Dependable on others,
- Low self esteem,
- Easily hurt.

I personally had this experience in a app
And I did NOT expect to get the ammount of tags
That I have now and so...
This is the complete opposite of my opinion
On myself but oh well XD

My description :
Popularity: 6 Fans

Headline:
Say you'll never leave me
'cause I need you so much... (K)

About Me:
- Sensitive && outgoing once in a a while...

- I am straight ;

- A helper not a trouble maker.
I really like to advice and meet people ^^
So, feel free to add, talk or send a message
I do reply and tag back...

- BUT I do NOT send nudes
I have self respect.

- Do not expect me to talk dirty either
I won't go that low on a app.
I am not that kind of girl
And whoever knows me well knows that (:

- I love to listen to music...
In fact I am sort of addicted to that *-*
Rock, HC and Dance/Nightcore.

- Writing is my main passion
Besides talking/going out with friends.

Who I'd like to meet:
- The One I love <3 Key.
- The bands I enjoy listening to :)
- Oli Sykes
- Nice, understanding people
Or persons that have stuff in common with me.

Note : I only use the app now to talk with people
1. I choose who I talk with.

2. I ignore who I don't want to talk with
Haha! Simple.

3. Dirty stuff and talking are a NO!
So max I replied was like "naughty"
This guy who said something first
Then he said "you like naughty men"
Me : No, not my type (lmao!)
Of course the person shut up
And my description says it all

4. I met 3 persons in here
That still I talk with them :
- Jordan (2nd bestie)
- Kathy
- Ryan

Main Tag :
- a glimpse of heaven

Mostly Tagged :
- gorgeous [71 persons]
- pretty [67 persons]
- cute [55 persons]

Favorite Tags :
- a true fallen angel
- beautiful insidenout
- charming young lady
- kindcaringthoughtful
- sweetest girl eva
- godess of beauty

Tags I do not like
Can be easily guessed. XD

Weird Tags...
The lick....one...
It was sent by a girl :S x,D
Then the scenequeen...
Alright ! I'm not scene (at all) XD

Here is the list...
-pretty, 2 gorgeous for words,
a true fallen angel, absolutely gorgeous,
adorable, amazingly beautiful, amazingly cute,
and ur eyes are amaz,
aw cuteii, aww really pretty, awww thanx,
beautiful, beautiful eyes,
beautiful eyes hair, beautiful insidenout,

beautifulangeliceyes,
beautifullybeyondit, beautifulrose, bold,
breathtaking beauti, charming young lady ,
cool, cute, cute as hell, cute smile, cuter,
cutie, dammm ma u hottz, ethereal beauty,

fuckable babe, godess of beauty, gorgeous,
gorgeous cutie, gorgeous eyes, gorgeouslikediamondz,
gorgeousverygorgeous, great hairstyle,
happy, happy b day cutie, hot,
icanmakeurbedrock, idkissurlips4hours,

kindcaringthoughtful, kissable lips, likeable,
maddd pretttyyy, maybe we can date,
my angel from heaven, near perfection,
nice pose x, not as much as u r,
outgoing, perfect babeee, perfect figure,

pretty, pretty and awesome, pretty eyes,
pretyyy eyes, quirky, really pretty, scenequeen
scottthomascarlin, serious, sex baby,
sexy, sexy as hell, sexy long hair, so r u cutie,
soo cuteee, stunningly beautiful,
sweet, sweetest girl eva,

thank you darlin, thanks u add me,
thanks u r too, thanx sexii, totally edible
ty gorgeous, ty wish i was a girl,
u like naughty men, u lok hot,
u r so delicious omg, ur really cute girl,
ur sexy as hell girl, very beautiful,
very cute, very cute and pretty,

very lovely honey, very pretty, very sweet,
wana c u naked, wanna text,
want 2 lick ur clit, want u on me bby,
wants u so bad, wats ur number,
whatacutie, whatgreatlipsyouhave,
wow babe ur gorgeous, yumity yum yum yum,

sexta-feira, 12 de novembro de 2010

If you really knew me...

13 random things about me :

If you really knew me
You would know that...


1. ...I have a explainable and big fear
Of dissapointing and losing people
Specially if they mean a lot to me.

2. ...My self esteem falls easily
And drops to the floor
When I see someone who I believe
That might be way prettier and such than me.
My sister is one of those persons for example.

3. ...I am easy to hurt, hard to repair.
Pretty much that...
People get surprised
...About how easily I can be hurt.

4. ...I do not like violence at all;
I have my reasons. I prefer talking.
But when someone makes me really angry
I might do stuff without thinking...

5. ...I think I might be too caring
Towards people
Who don't care that much about me.

6. ...I do not like to have my body exposed
Specially at pools or beach...
I'ld be way happier if I was able
To put all of that behind and over with.
Still taking care of that. (L)

7. ...I like to help out people the best I can
When I can relate with the situation
Even if I don't know the person[s] ;

8. ...I have 5 projects :
- 2 proses (one done, another under construction)
(Portuguese)

- 3 poetry projects (one done, two under construction)
(Two in Portuguese, one in English)

...And I asked a good friend of me
To write a sort of biography :$
He agreed to do so :)

9. I used to really hate myself.
And had a phase when I hated others.
That is now gone, fortunately!

10. When I get too nervous or hurt
It's stupid but I can't avoid crying my eyes out
Or run to the nearest bathroom or isolated place.

11. I'm a girl that when she loves,
She really does. Only One person...
For one heart.
I do not cheat nor flirt.
My heart has already chosen him.
Call it or call me whatever you want...
My beliefs are all over this blog :$ (L)

12. Do not make me laugh
While I'm drinking...
You were warned! Lmao.

13. I am very self conscious of the way I walk
And recently that bend...my back (upper back)
People say that happens because I get shy (what the....)
Oh Lord... :((( But I want to correct both soon !
Because that's...something I hate...
Not helping and rather humiliating...!

Your turn now...
Took me quite some guts to admit these...
:) Take care.

segunda-feira, 8 de novembro de 2010

Self Injury II

" She brushes the Compliments away...
While Insults ?
Are carved in her skin ".


Note : I saw this quote from an app
So this girl is the owner of the quote/verse
Not me. Take care ! (L)

Again I needed to rest ...
And think before writting
I'm back now and ready to talk at last.

Note to Key :
I'ld like to see a post
From you ;) (L)

Alright, my experiences with self harm
Began in my 10th grade
But got worse during the 12th
(Last grade of highschool)
Even after it kept on going...
I had some...stuff (mostly events)
That triggered me
Never images.

I was not the girl to call out for attention...
We mostly get called names and such
But not everyone who cuts is for attention!
As a matter of fact I used to cover up my cuts
Out of...Idk I did not wanted to be caught

I admit that sometimes I failed.
Not always the bracelets
Could hide the scars on my wrist
And definately not always the sleeve
Was able to cover up the ones in my arm

A advice : Don't even , don't ever start cutting.
It is hell, specially when you do it for relief.
As an exit/way out to certain problems...
Some people even get trapped
and addicted to cutting.

I had some reactions from people out of it
Most told me to stop ;

But the worse was my own mother.
She caught me twice. Once she saw my cuts.
Other time, she saw...I was speachless
And yes I was caught after cutting.
I had no bracelets on and it wasn't a easy situation

She grabbed me by the arms ;
She was shaking me over and over again.
Asking and screaming "Why...!"
In the same night she threatned
To take me to a psychiatrist.

Music XIII

Some calm songs...
The next music post will have calm songs as well
May this help you and make you feel inspired :)







Last one did not allow the copy/incorporate link...
It has a message (L) ,
Although hip hop / rap is honestly not my genre
But it gives me SO much good memories...
So glad to have found it!! :,)

Click to see and hear :
Twista ft Faith Evans - Hope

Tatoos, Piercings and Modifications

Everyone has a diferent opinion on this
I do like certain tattoos in some areas of the body
And personally prefer tattoos with meaning ;

- If I could I would do one tattoo of the symbol "Life"
On my left wrist, a place where harm was made
Even near that spot...plus I have some meanings for it.
More than that... I thought of wings (i'm doubting it now)
And a Key (L) (still with it in my mind (L))

- I do like and support the tattoos
With meaning/message in it.
I do think it is beautiful some, as art.
There are true masterpieces out there! :)

Piercings...yeah I like some.
But for instance I don't imagine getting anything except my ears.
Not into other types of body modification ;

Hair dyes, I like them .
If I could dye my hair any collour,
I would choose a light brown
Otherwise, I'm alright with my natural hair collour
I just dislike my hair length at the moment
But it'll grow out I guess...

Yet freedom of expression...
It is your life, your choices
As long as you are happy and okay with that
It's fine by me.
God bless ^^

domingo, 7 de novembro de 2010

Music XII

That song is old...
Brings me back to good times.



I imagine listening to this one when I travel :)



I started to recently really like this band :o
Fireflight



Suicide - Warning Signs

With searching and knowing too,
- Giving away possessions

- Mentioning death or suicide in any way
(speaking, writing)

- Having destructive behaviors
(for example self harm, bullying others)

- Preparing a will or suicide letter

- Sudden change in behavior

Note : Mental/Health disorders can lead more to suicide
Than people with normal condition....

sábado, 6 de novembro de 2010

Self Esteem II

Family was supposed to help isn't it?
So yesterday night I was already messed up
With those words between me and my sister;
She eventually left and we were to meet again
Besides my grandma
and brother on Sunday are to go to the movies.
I don't feel excited at all, to be honest.

My mom found me almost crying
She decided to ask me what was wrong
So I explained her...
(She used to be so understanding)

I explained how things aren't going exactly
Like what I expected...and like they were told.
I said I, more than anything want to furfill my dreams
Which I don't believe it'll be here.
She said that besides needing the money

I'ld need somewhere to stay and so,
Permitions, vacations...
So don't expect to be there in less time than a year

After that I put my head on the pillow
And what I was saving the whole day inside of me got out
She said "do not bring yourself down"
Petted my head and left.

Self Esteem I

...I thought that things
Were finally going alright ;
And that work would be payed.
Instead she likes to take me to places
Just to see things and such

Then dinner. I don't want to sound ungrateful
In fact, let's say my expectations are broken...
I could have gone home
And have dinner with my "family"
She (sis) says she is
...Trying to get me out of my "vegetable" type of life.
Then I had some other things
That I had to hear and shut up...

She says it is for my own good
And that she is trying to help me ;
Is it? I hear things like :

"You're not entering in the car right ,
You're looking like a corcunda!".

"You're not walking
with your feet straight..."
(Guess what? I was born like this...)

"You're too shy
and embaraced towards people"
;

Believe me , it hurts.
Yesterday we went to the hair salon
Because she wanted to get her hair done
I was trying to be outside
But my sister turned back and told me to get in.
My self esteem lost some points
And broke into pieces.

To be honest, I miss my long hair...I really do....
There I was trying to cover that all ;
I was hours waiting and with this feeling inside of me
A knot in my throat.
I was head down, texting a friend
I wanted to cry my eyes out already.
But I couldn't,
People would notice that obviously...

Night :
Not so famous we had dinner...me and my sister.
At home the neighbors were there again.
My sis went to put my hair straight ;
It looked alright...sort of.
I will have to wait quite some time
For my hair to grow again...

As my hair was a little better than usual
So I asked her if she could take me some pics...
More criticizing regarding the color quality
She said I looked like a zombie in some...
Then that others were alright ;

She told I looked angry...upset...
I told her it was "nothing"
and I kept on listening to music.
I ended up talking with her;

She replied that she...
Was saying those things for my own good
(Really? There are other ways of saying)
And that she didn't wanted for me to made fun of
While we were the two going out (...)

quarta-feira, 3 de novembro de 2010

Music VIII

I love this song +.+!




Letter I

To be honest, I don't know exactly where to start,
Just know that, do not forget...
If I could hug you right now, believe me that I would.
I see how you fear your life failing at something or falling appart

It is a very hard thing for me to write now
It is even more difficult for me to see your suffering.

Well, lets drop the negativity right now...
I know you're broken. I know you're scared and troubled.

The same way you always helped me
Since we started talking on hi5,
A year ago (4-Aug-2009).
I want to help you as supporting you
And make you turn back from what you want to do...

We are meant to get up when we fall
And not stay on the ground.


You have been my best friend for over a year already
We went through a lot, better than anyone you know I suppose.

Are you willing to go and waste your life away?
Leaving all the friends and loved ones behind?

If you will come across this post on your own, good
Otherwise I am considering on showing it to you
Be aware that whatever situation
Or situations making you feel hurt

Are TEMPORARY.
Life is likely to change!
Learn to wait, my best friend
Because when you least expect,
Things can and will get better!

(Yes I am aware that
I might be repeating myself
But it is for you to remember
For your own good)

If it is the Past, drop it
And start building your own future
Stop dwelling, let the ghosts be.


That pain will be over soon, but not the way you want
It seems a attractive choice at times , doesn't it ?
Even to me... and LOOK,
See where I stand now

Because you pulled me back
And made me think
So think if needed.

Read if too, if you want
Or better,
I would apreciate if you read this....

Take care
And stay strong! (>, ")>

Music VII



I found this video amazing...
The way the sea, the waves wash away those words...



They are more about rock
Still they assumed themselves as Christians I believe



At last (but not least)
This one song from this band...
They are Christian (metalcore genre) band
Whoa...

Death or Afterlife

So my question is ...

What do you imagine
Death to be?
Just eternal sleep
Being someone who can watch other people as a spirit?
Afterlife ? Heaven or H?


I am Christian yes.
Again, I respect other beliefs and so.
However the Heaven and Hell part
Are too much mentioned and people say they exist
Without actually some visiting it.
If we go to the logycal part of religion
Then who knows? Are we to believe
Without raising any curious questions?
By that, no offence okay...

Do you think there should be
A place for someone to be blessed for Eternity?
Or another for punishment and suffering?


Isn't our life composed with those both parts?
If so, how come when we die we go to only one place?
If we have and do GOOD and BAD actions
REMARKABLE actions and SINS ?
I believe there should or will be a place
Shaped with what we have done...
Not fully good or perfect...
Not fully evil or punishing...

As for another life?
Why would that even be?
I'ld be happy with One Life well spent. (L)

terça-feira, 2 de novembro de 2010

Path to Happiness

This is my question to you today...
What makes you happy?
Complete or furfilled?
What is the secret of happiness...


Answer :

Complete it yourself.
The answer might be there right away
Or not. It takes time
But when it arrives, it will make sense.
Trust me :)

p.s.: It is somewhat related
To some post I've put
Do not be suspicious about the name
For more info check Depression - Coping
It has sugestions on activities to do
And few websites. Have a nice day :P

segunda-feira, 1 de novembro de 2010

Depression - Coping

A : I already told in some posts of Life blog.
If I only or mostly write
About Depression it is because of me experiencing it
Personally I rather talk
About what I know, as my testimony and point of view
...Than to talk about what I do not know.
For support or websites on this or other disorders
Check out the pages saying
"Info and Support" and "Other Disorders"
May that be somehow helpful. :)

My sugestions!
1. Do the maximum you can to stay away
And avoid the source (or sources) of pain.
Avoid staying at home alone,
It can leave sometimes the person[s] worse

2. Text a friend or message a friend to go out.
Or go out with your family / visit a family member.
p.s. : Choose a calm/peaceful place
If you do not like or do not feel confortable
In crowded places.

If that is not your case...
Why not trying a amusement park/park, circus, zoo
Or going to a concert? :)
There might be good bands out there!


3. You can try gaming events
...Or just playing a game
There are a lot of options
And probably new games out often

4. Another suggestion is art...
Expressing yourself and letting things out
a) Writting a novel, poetry, blog,
Fanfiction, comedy, a script.

Negativity not allowed much,
Appart from that subject is free for you to
We aim for the opposite! :)


b) Going to a theatre or social group/events ;
Drawing, painting, cooking, dancing,
Reading (buying a regular book
Or ebooks...some websites have them
Check if they are free tho)
Singing, shopping, karaokes,
Going to the movie
Or getting popcorns and watching one at home

c) Doing things outside...
Camping, sports and so, like :
(paintball, football, baseball,
ping pong, volley, skatting, tenis,
martial arts, cheerleading, snooker
Going to the mall, beach or swimming pool...)

It's just thinking , searching and choosing
Either with some company or alone
It will be fun,
Believe in yoursef! :D


d) Learning how to play a instrument!

e) Learning a new language!
For example, I am trying Dutch...
Is fun and who knows? It could be useful! :D
Plus there are free lessons online
In some languages or try checking on youtube :)

It just does require some time
To find the right website or websites :)
Or even you can try to learn braile and/or gestual language
Traveling is another sugestion too
If you have time, money and the chance for it.


Useful Links :

+ Instructables
(English,
It has several things from food to jewelry...
Good ideas, it is just exploring the website ^^)

+ Wiki How
(It exist/is available in other languages
Such as spanish, german, french, italian
nederlands(dutch) , "portuguese" ,
and arabic [?} . Another on the same genre)

+ TheChangeBlog
(I've only taken a peek on the website
But seem s high sugestive
Check it if you have the chance!
I personally will, it looks cool...) :D

+ Youtube
(Just decided to put here a direct and clicable link
For you to go there if you want to check some videos)

+ Ebooks.net

+ Best ebook Websites
(English, check this link out
For more info on ebooks)

+ Crafts and Design
(English,
This one is like a green and friendly website
Has a lot of articles about diferent stuff)

+ All Poetry.com
(English,
In case you like to write poetry...
Maybe you will like this website
I will try out this one perhaps
I'll think about it first...)

+ Empiremusicco

+ UltimateSongWritting
(English.
Well these two websites
Speak about lyric writting
And such...if that is your case,
Try to explore those)

+ Avoiding Depression Relapse
(English. This website contains some articles
On sugestions to avoid a relapse/breakdown)

+ Anxiety and Depression Solutions
(English. This is a website with some sugestions
Of coping with depression and other issues;
However, nevermind the big ammount of ads!)

+ YouarethePath
(English. I never tried this, yet it seems a little like
Tapping or something. I would firmly advice you
In case you're interested, to check it
Out of curiosity, without going into
/getting involved in any payments or so)

+ Tapping.com
(English. I never tried this to be honest
So I don't exactly know if this works 100% or not
But the website wil stay here in any case
For you to try it
There are videos and a account on youtube
About it. It is called the EFT .
(Emotional Freedom Technique)
Anyways , good luck :) )

+ Learning Meditation

Note : If I find more websites I will post!
I hope they are helpful for you... :)
p.s.: Sorry for any typos
I am not english nor american.

Depression and Suicide - Myths and Facts

Myths and Facts...

1. Myth : A person that says that is going to commit suicide is seeking for attention
Fact : That one is a old one, in any case DO something about it
Do not sit and wait for anything to happen. Take it seriously !

2. Myth : People with mental disorders are seen as crazy, etc...
Fact : I heard this one myself a couple of times,
It is not a pleasant thing to hear....
We all have troubles in life, some have mental disorders.
As disorders, problems or diseases they have to be treated or controled.
If it is a problem like any other, why SO much judging?

3. Myth : Someone who attempted suicide might not attempt again.
Fact : No, it's not always like that.
A person who attempted suicide
CAN and MIGHT attempt again
You never know.

We particularly have times
When we can be and find ourselves in a stable condition
And then have relapses,
Those triggered by something
(a event, memories) or someone.

Some relapses (also known as breakdowns)
Can be serious and lead people to think incorrectly
And act in impulse!

4. Fact : People who attempt suicide do not want to die
...They just want to end the pain they are feeling
Which is most likely to be temporary.

Life Blog supports... Causes and People !