quinta-feira, 7 de outubro de 2010

Pov : Bullying IV

"No matter what I would do it was never enough...
...Things don't have to be this way".


More happened in highschool...
My so-called-classmates would still laugh at me
Specially physical ed. dance class.
I started to not bringing the material, to skip them
And not do any dancing.

I didn't like the way they would stare
And definately not the laughter.
I would skip the class too
The skipping limit was too short...
So I would have to go to class 90% of the time.

The irony...
I was one of the best students in there
Well...at English and Portuguese mostly
Then other subjects as well.
So they would ask me not just for help
But to do their homework.
Which is USING someone.

Group work??
Two things could happen:
I would be picked to do a big part of the work
OR wouldn't be picked at all.

Triggers?
1. I once was in one physical ed class.
No one wasn't picking me again.
...I said, out loud "Estou farta disto!
(I had enough of this!)

...So one of them replied
"Estás farta disto? Olha, se estás farta então mata-te!"
(You had enough of this? Look, if you had enough then kill yourself!)

2. No one would want to be representing the class.
Yeah...so I said I would be.
Things did not go alright so it all went worse eventually.
They said I wasn't good at that that I should leave
And two were constantly picking on me because they wanted to be that.
They pushed it to the limit that they left me crying and
Writting a letter of me going to no longer represent the class.
Three persons were against me. The rest was trying to support me...
I ripped the letter in front of those three, threw it to the floor and said:

"I AM NOT GOING TO LEAVE because you want!
I am not going to allow you to replace my place"


Reactions : They were mad and still commenting
The others supporting me started to...clap...
And scream because they thought I wouldn't actually confront them.
Not to say they started commenting on my bf at the time bla bla you don't love him
"Shut up! I LOVE my boyfriend!!" and turned my back on the person.

End? Months later I did gave up as I was aware it was a lot for me.
I spoke with the class director of the time and told him
Honestly that I couldn't go on but I made sure the class representative
And subclass representative places would go for the right persons
And not the two that were constantly tormenting me.
So that happened and the right people replaced me.

3. Not being a choice.
I once made a wake up call for them...
I wasn't the only one being picked.
So, my teacher told me I would choose the groups
For football I believe.
I chose the worst in my class according to them.
I said to one of "I'd like you to know for once
What it feels like to be a choice
And not to be left out"
Of course they did not understand my action.
They thought I was...insane...

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