quinta-feira, 28 de outubro de 2010

Being Used

(For more information check the bullying posts)

We at least once in Life experience
This type of episodes.
I did through out school.

Again, I am ready to talk about this...
Some I remembered on my own
Others my memory recovered along the way
For this I am refering to highschool years.

I was the typical average student
By that I had some school subjects that were dificult
And others that were rather easy and where I felt confortable...
Now, I might have mentioned this....
I would only got asked for help in those subjects where I was better at
On the worst ones they wouldn't do much anything for me
In fact I was left out. Smart ...

From homework, to comparing works
To helping with vocabulary, writing
Even in tests (english) they would ask me for help !
I was less times helped than the times I would help them.
I helped many going through some school subjects.

But I knew I was often being used too...
And that feeling, pardon me to say, it SUCKS.
My rewards? Temporary compliment a little thanks.
But then the situation would be the same...
This in my point of view...

I could have been caught and get through consequences
Now that I think of it, I will ask you :

"Is that...
Worth it?"

I was still sort of a loner and unpopular...
Whenever I helped or not.

Another point :
If I wasn't helping them, they'ld be all mad
And would talk/comment about me.
Badly? Yes.

Even if I wasn't that okay....
Few would help me (1 or 2 out of 20!)
And today someone reached me for help
(In fact two persons)

However, I am not forced to help someone
Specially when that certain person
Only contacted me to help her with a work
By that sending her MY final work.

You may think what you want but it is not fair
Reminding that that certain person
Threatened me and used me in the past.

Then you may say..."Forgive".
Yes I am Christian but I'm no saint.
I am not forced to go through similar situations.
I can but I am not forced to forgive
And it was a lot of damage
...So it will take its time to go away
And to be fully forgiven, not forgotten.

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