quinta-feira, 23 de dezembro de 2010

Facing the "Job World"

"Success is a journey,
Not a destination".


I saw this quote in a portrait...
A landscape with a quote on it.
I decided to share it with you... ^^

It isn't easy.
Like someone said to me, the economy is pretty bad.
However, DO NOT let that bring you down.
Nothing is impossible and aim for your dreams
They say the good, sucessful persons are the ones
Who once were big dreamers.

Put faith in it, in case you believe.
Put your effort as well...
Believe it or not, I've been around 14 diferent sites
Searching for a job plus few stores...
I took 5 to 6 months but I think I made it now.

Now my advices...
1 - Do a account (if you want, optional)
For your work/professional stuff.
Use that adress to reply to job offers
Or for employers/companies to reach you.

* So, it'll help you organize
...That way you are less likely to mix personal emails
With stuff related to your job search or future company
Or doing mistakes while you're sending a reply...
Of something personal/informal
To a company...*


2 - Confidence in front of others.
Don't give up.

3 - Being polite too.
Not too much...
Otherwise it'll give the wrong impression...

4 - Being honest.

5 - Not dressing too formal NOR too sloppy.
I personally don't mind much looks
But they do...!

6 - Having copies of the resumé (aka CV) at hands
Plus a copy of your documents or School certificate...
You'll never know if you will need it or not.

7 - You got to think you're there for the job
And not mind for possible competition
If you focus on the competition and others
You will most likely get nervous. So don't.

8 - Careful with the information you give out.

9 - Value your qualities! :
- Whether is a sport you done in the past,
- A association you were in, diplomas, ect.
- Artistic related hobbies, languages you know/speak,
- The datas you were in school, the subjects you had...
- Previous jobs and experience...Part-time jobs, ect.

10 - Magic Word :
Being immediately available.
They want to know people who are in
For working right away.
They are not for jokes nor indecisions
That's my explanation...
They seek someone serious
And willing to work.

Note * Choose and write wisely.
A well made Curriculum is a big chance
For them to accept you...Good luck !! :)

p.s.: Someone today sent me this...
"every dark mist,
there is always a sun rise
waiting to happen ^_^ "

...The person was right. **

terça-feira, 21 de dezembro de 2010

Music XVI

Some Christian Songs...
Anyways, sorry if I repeated any
I will check that to make sure, later.
Take care<3








domingo, 19 de dezembro de 2010

Music XV







I decided to add this one song...

Inspiring Song II

I was checking out some songs of some series
Then I bumped into songs from Plumb (a Christian band)
This one caught my interest...
Not only for the meaning implied,
But it had some interesting quotes in it as well
It is amazing... *-*

Personal Comment :
There are two quotes I disagree a little
Depends on the point of view,
But I found them a little depressing.
Like one that says :

1. "We are born alone, we live alone,
We die alone...Only through our love and friendship
We create the illusion that we are not alone".


A : It is not an illusion.
When we are born we are with our family,
The first persons we see when we open our eyes
Are our parents :)

2. "People won't remember what you did
People won't remember what you said
But people will remember how you made them feel"


A : In the hearts of whoever trully loves you
You will not be forgotten.
You will be treasured.
And memories of you, cherished. (L)

Important Note : This song belongs to it's rightful owner
The video belongs to it's author.
I do not claim it as my own, I'm only sharing :)
So , here it is ...

A Message...


To whoever is considering or contemplating Suicide.
I personally never had anyone close to me or a loved one
Doing it and completing it.

Therefore, I had witnessed people talking with me
About their problems, about what bothered them
About even what they were contemplating
It is not about pretending the problem isn't there
It is about facing it, talk with the person
But more even, about understanding
Lending a hand.

You are worth it.
You are placed here for a reason
Never give up (L)


I was around youtube...and I checked some old messages
I bumped into one I sent nearly a year ago.
It was about a guy with a daugther and so
Who really wanted to die
I usually try to reach for people

And I thought "why not try to help?"
p.s: I do not know if the person is or not alive
Nor if he read the message.

Whoever comes across these posts
Such as this one... I want you to think
And read carefuly...

Note : Please , do not judge.
It is from 22/12/09 .
So it has over a year ago....

-- A year later, now that I read what I wrote
And reflected about it...
It gives you a other point of view on Life.
I did not recognized myself writting this
And all of a sudden seeing things this way
I could have been somehow right about it...
It is another point of view...
There it is, a message I wrote
I decided to share here --

Hi.. I don't know if
I'm bothering by sending and writing this ='$
Hello...I'm 17yrs old..
And once I was to kill myself
due to severe bullying in the past and scars left by that.

What if I did? We wouldn't be talking,
I mean, I wouldn't be here messaging,
I would lose the new friends
I've made and that lend me a helping hand
and too the old ones that known me for a long time.
My parents would be devastated
and nothing would replace a daughter.
I would have lost moments in life that were treasured.
Think about it, please.

I would like to tell you to keep fighting
for your children, as they love you trully
And you as a father, know that better than anyone.
Nothing can replace the love of a child
and the love of parents.

Love and living are the best gifts someone can offer.
Better than any other thing in this world.
Don't give up, seek help and advicing.
Please, death is not a way.
And the pain you once had would go
to the hearts of the ones you love.

Have you thought of how would your children feel,
And your family and friends feel if you were gone?

And too I noticed the people from here , they are worried about you.
They care. I don't know you, but I care too and i'm not here to judge.
I just would like you to read this and read carefully this message
and some of the comments people left you here on Youtube.

Life is and can be hard, but it's not impossible to achieve goals
Sometimes vision gets blurry
and it's hard to cope with so many feelings
and emotions at the same time,
but there are other ways to cope with pain,
methods such as writting, drawing, painting,
Working somewhere, and creating stuff too.
And being rewarded by that.
Set goals, things you want and wish to do in your life.

As someone once said
"Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem"
I mean, there is no turning back if you do so =,(

If you ever need to talk, anything
You can message me here.

*Hug*
Best wishes for you,
x Silvy

sábado, 11 de dezembro de 2010

Inspiring song...

Personally my type of songs
(The most I listen to) are Rock
(Christian rock and so on)

But this one I decided to share
I was having a breakdown (also known as relapse)
And a dear friend of mine has sent me
The particular name of a song by a band called
Mercy Me.

It is not on my "usual music genre" at all
But I heard it and it does have a message
I ask here to take your time and listen to it
There it is the song...



It says it all...
<33 You're beautiful :)
Take care .

Updates .

My personal journey in order
To find a stable, decent job is still going.
Hope this gets solved soon.
Plus I've been now and then around my journal
(It is online too) and there I believe
I can write most of my thoughts there
The good and bad ones.
Nearly every step of my life.

I only do not write it out in here because...
It is not that the purpose of this/my blog
In this case, Life blog.
Plus I've been stressed and busy :3

Still, I am aware that there haven't been
Much updates on this. I did not forgot this
And (yet) I have no thoughts of erasing this blog
As I know and still somewhat believe
That the blog can somehow, somewhere reach someone
Someone CAN read this.

If I save one person or make someone happier
Then my work is done.
The point of the blog has came across.

sábado, 4 de dezembro de 2010

Broken Heart

For every person, boy and girl who suffers about love.
Love isn't a game, nor a joke.
It should be taken seriously as hearts go hurt...

There is no magic potion to cure broken hearts,
I know it's hard, very hard to the point it can take over
Or mess up with people's lives.

Now I shall write from my point of view,
From...a girl's point of view.
I don't know if somebody can get disturbed or annoyed
With what I'm writting. I'm really releasing much
Of what I've been in this short life...
So, please, respect it. I hope this can help, too
.

I've been through that, I can relate to that...
Because i've been in such situations...
And I know not all people are assholes or bitches.
But some just are... >.<

My example?
I've been with a person 11 months...a lot of stuff happened,...
From lots of argues and fights, to loving moments,
To two rings in my fingers, and proposal.
Promises and all that pretty stuff...
I'll set the datas here :
02/06/2008 - 11/05/2009

Yes...we broke up.
In fact he was the one to do so.
The day he did such thing was three days before my birthday
How..."cool" is that? (NOT!)

I still remember as once
He was taking me to my grandparents home.
That was usual about him. A friday, lunch time...

He told me that day if something happened
That he hoped
"I would find someone else
To make me happier that he once did
To there for me more than he once did" ...


I guess that is what everyone tells.
I just answered to him
"Why are you telling me that?
You know I don't want anybody else,
And that you make me happy."

I started to slowly (or not) breaking down in front of him
I just started hugging him.
His expression was still serious and...
He hugged me back. I was home...

Saturday and Sunday...
I had more breakdowns during those days...
In the 8th of May he dropped the news
That he was going away to another school...
I should have known...
(I shall leave more in another post)


Point one. Me and him weren't perfect.
That is something that the person who is broken
Should see. In this case, me...

The fact is that...
At first thinking about that person hurts a lot
But with time, things slowly start to fade.
In the first weeks, I began to isolate myself
Crying, in my room. Or sleeping more than usual
I thought that that would be helpful.
But it's wrong...

In this times, the best thing is to go out with friends.
Drop the memories if they're harmful for you
Avoid the loving songs that turned out to be songs with sorrow
The best is too, to change the way you see things

It wasn't my blame - as a relationship isn't made by only one person.
To build something - 2 persons are needed.
Boy and Girl or in other cases, you know...
But in my case. He ended. He told me...

3 years in another school
I told him I would God knows how I would wait
But he didn't wanted that. So he went on with his life.
This was a test... And I wasted 11 months of my life
With someone who just left me. (I'm being ironic)
I hated him at first...it pained me lots...
But then, hate was good for a recovery
And not seeing him as well, it helped.
And meeting people too.

I just thought to myself how he'll regret of
Leaving me behind.
I mean, I never lied to him
Never cheated.
And I was the girl he was more time with
And the one who supported him to go to class and all
Otherwise, he wouldn't make it through school
(He was the guy with a girl in one week or so...)
And he never said much, not even a thank you.

With this I realized how I sacrificed myself and time
For someone who didn't appreciated much
Much of the times he said he would go out and me
Then said that he couldn't because of this or that...
I know it's awful to think like this.

But it goes more or less like this...
Hating -> Thinking -> Moving On
-> Learning to Forgive -> LIVING -> Loving.


Yep. I forgave and forgive him...but it takes time.
I don't know if me
And him would ever be friends...
I think not. He never spoke to me since.
He followed his path, I just can't force anyone to be with me
So...I let him go. And followed my own path.

It takes wisdom for one to be alone.
And during the time you're alone.
Don't be depressed.

Sugestions :
* Listening to music
* Going to the movies with friends
* Doing something you like
* Or any project you were planning on doing before
(I carried on with my book project)
* Partying
p.s.: With limits,
Trying not to follow addictive or harmful stuff/paths.


You can still enjoy life while you're alone.
You don't need a boy or girl to be fully happy.
I cried, and more stuff.
But there was nothing wrong with me.
It was the choice that he made.

I couldn't let him be with me
If he wanted to build his own future.
Or even if he goes search for his own path to be happy
If so, I'll search for mine. =]
And succeed. No negative thoughts.

* This was dedicated for a person
Whose name I shall not reveal here.
Plus it has lots of time already
Take care *

domingo, 14 de novembro de 2010

sábado, 13 de novembro de 2010

Situations I

Well I was around myspace (as usual)
This PT person went all darth vader moment with me
It was funny but hella annoying as well

"With the power of my mind you will give
me your email and not so useful info about you"

Me : (wtf moment)
A Starwars guy...
XD If you want to talk, talk here

He said the messaging thing was slow
I said IM then.
He asked for my number service
I said 91. Nothing more.

He commented on my height...
- Are you really 1,46?
So short...

- And your (age)...you must be younger than that.
Me : Yes. and that is really my age.

- Criticized short people as less inteligent
and having less space for brain in the cranium/skull

Me, thought : [hmm.. according to studies short people
are more likely to have cardiac problems
as other problems. as for the part of those crappy things
short people have more oxygen in their brain
than tall people]

- Ó caralho, és comprometida. Bela merda.
Gajas comprometidas são tão úteis quando uma impressora sem tinta.
[F*ck, you're commited. Great sh*t.
Commited girls are as useful as a printer with no ink]

Me : Long story and that comment wasn't necessary.
Thought: At last someone read my f*cking profile --'
And that comment already shows the type of person he is
And I rather be a inkless but happy printer
Than a useless, criticizing printer...lmao --'

Flaws

If I may ask...
What are your flaws ?


No one is perfect , that is a start on my p.o.v.
BUT for someone you might just be that.
(One person popped in my thoughts :$)

I consider as my flaws...
Physical :
- My way of walking,
- Those things only one or two persons know
- Bending my back... :/

Psichological :
- Dependable on others,
- Low self esteem,
- Easily hurt.

I personally had this experience in a app
And I did NOT expect to get the ammount of tags
That I have now and so...
This is the complete opposite of my opinion
On myself but oh well XD

My description :
Popularity: 6 Fans

Headline:
Say you'll never leave me
'cause I need you so much... (K)

About Me:
- Sensitive && outgoing once in a a while...

- I am straight ;

- A helper not a trouble maker.
I really like to advice and meet people ^^
So, feel free to add, talk or send a message
I do reply and tag back...

- BUT I do NOT send nudes
I have self respect.

- Do not expect me to talk dirty either
I won't go that low on a app.
I am not that kind of girl
And whoever knows me well knows that (:

- I love to listen to music...
In fact I am sort of addicted to that *-*
Rock, HC and Dance/Nightcore.

- Writing is my main passion
Besides talking/going out with friends.

Who I'd like to meet:
- The One I love <3 Key.
- The bands I enjoy listening to :)
- Oli Sykes
- Nice, understanding people
Or persons that have stuff in common with me.

Note : I only use the app now to talk with people
1. I choose who I talk with.

2. I ignore who I don't want to talk with
Haha! Simple.

3. Dirty stuff and talking are a NO!
So max I replied was like "naughty"
This guy who said something first
Then he said "you like naughty men"
Me : No, not my type (lmao!)
Of course the person shut up
And my description says it all

4. I met 3 persons in here
That still I talk with them :
- Jordan (2nd bestie)
- Kathy
- Ryan

Main Tag :
- a glimpse of heaven

Mostly Tagged :
- gorgeous [71 persons]
- pretty [67 persons]
- cute [55 persons]

Favorite Tags :
- a true fallen angel
- beautiful insidenout
- charming young lady
- kindcaringthoughtful
- sweetest girl eva
- godess of beauty

Tags I do not like
Can be easily guessed. XD

Weird Tags...
The lick....one...
It was sent by a girl :S x,D
Then the scenequeen...
Alright ! I'm not scene (at all) XD

Here is the list...
-pretty, 2 gorgeous for words,
a true fallen angel, absolutely gorgeous,
adorable, amazingly beautiful, amazingly cute,
and ur eyes are amaz,
aw cuteii, aww really pretty, awww thanx,
beautiful, beautiful eyes,
beautiful eyes hair, beautiful insidenout,

beautifulangeliceyes,
beautifullybeyondit, beautifulrose, bold,
breathtaking beauti, charming young lady ,
cool, cute, cute as hell, cute smile, cuter,
cutie, dammm ma u hottz, ethereal beauty,

fuckable babe, godess of beauty, gorgeous,
gorgeous cutie, gorgeous eyes, gorgeouslikediamondz,
gorgeousverygorgeous, great hairstyle,
happy, happy b day cutie, hot,
icanmakeurbedrock, idkissurlips4hours,

kindcaringthoughtful, kissable lips, likeable,
maddd pretttyyy, maybe we can date,
my angel from heaven, near perfection,
nice pose x, not as much as u r,
outgoing, perfect babeee, perfect figure,

pretty, pretty and awesome, pretty eyes,
pretyyy eyes, quirky, really pretty, scenequeen
scottthomascarlin, serious, sex baby,
sexy, sexy as hell, sexy long hair, so r u cutie,
soo cuteee, stunningly beautiful,
sweet, sweetest girl eva,

thank you darlin, thanks u add me,
thanks u r too, thanx sexii, totally edible
ty gorgeous, ty wish i was a girl,
u like naughty men, u lok hot,
u r so delicious omg, ur really cute girl,
ur sexy as hell girl, very beautiful,
very cute, very cute and pretty,

very lovely honey, very pretty, very sweet,
wana c u naked, wanna text,
want 2 lick ur clit, want u on me bby,
wants u so bad, wats ur number,
whatacutie, whatgreatlipsyouhave,
wow babe ur gorgeous, yumity yum yum yum,

sexta-feira, 12 de novembro de 2010

If you really knew me...

13 random things about me :

If you really knew me
You would know that...


1. ...I have a explainable and big fear
Of dissapointing and losing people
Specially if they mean a lot to me.

2. ...My self esteem falls easily
And drops to the floor
When I see someone who I believe
That might be way prettier and such than me.
My sister is one of those persons for example.

3. ...I am easy to hurt, hard to repair.
Pretty much that...
People get surprised
...About how easily I can be hurt.

4. ...I do not like violence at all;
I have my reasons. I prefer talking.
But when someone makes me really angry
I might do stuff without thinking...

5. ...I think I might be too caring
Towards people
Who don't care that much about me.

6. ...I do not like to have my body exposed
Specially at pools or beach...
I'ld be way happier if I was able
To put all of that behind and over with.
Still taking care of that. (L)

7. ...I like to help out people the best I can
When I can relate with the situation
Even if I don't know the person[s] ;

8. ...I have 5 projects :
- 2 proses (one done, another under construction)
(Portuguese)

- 3 poetry projects (one done, two under construction)
(Two in Portuguese, one in English)

...And I asked a good friend of me
To write a sort of biography :$
He agreed to do so :)

9. I used to really hate myself.
And had a phase when I hated others.
That is now gone, fortunately!

10. When I get too nervous or hurt
It's stupid but I can't avoid crying my eyes out
Or run to the nearest bathroom or isolated place.

11. I'm a girl that when she loves,
She really does. Only One person...
For one heart.
I do not cheat nor flirt.
My heart has already chosen him.
Call it or call me whatever you want...
My beliefs are all over this blog :$ (L)

12. Do not make me laugh
While I'm drinking...
You were warned! Lmao.

13. I am very self conscious of the way I walk
And recently that bend...my back (upper back)
People say that happens because I get shy (what the....)
Oh Lord... :((( But I want to correct both soon !
Because that's...something I hate...
Not helping and rather humiliating...!

Your turn now...
Took me quite some guts to admit these...
:) Take care.

segunda-feira, 8 de novembro de 2010

Self Injury II

" She brushes the Compliments away...
While Insults ?
Are carved in her skin ".


Note : I saw this quote from an app
So this girl is the owner of the quote/verse
Not me. Take care ! (L)

Again I needed to rest ...
And think before writting
I'm back now and ready to talk at last.

Note to Key :
I'ld like to see a post
From you ;) (L)

Alright, my experiences with self harm
Began in my 10th grade
But got worse during the 12th
(Last grade of highschool)
Even after it kept on going...
I had some...stuff (mostly events)
That triggered me
Never images.

I was not the girl to call out for attention...
We mostly get called names and such
But not everyone who cuts is for attention!
As a matter of fact I used to cover up my cuts
Out of...Idk I did not wanted to be caught

I admit that sometimes I failed.
Not always the bracelets
Could hide the scars on my wrist
And definately not always the sleeve
Was able to cover up the ones in my arm

A advice : Don't even , don't ever start cutting.
It is hell, specially when you do it for relief.
As an exit/way out to certain problems...
Some people even get trapped
and addicted to cutting.

I had some reactions from people out of it
Most told me to stop ;

But the worse was my own mother.
She caught me twice. Once she saw my cuts.
Other time, she saw...I was speachless
And yes I was caught after cutting.
I had no bracelets on and it wasn't a easy situation

She grabbed me by the arms ;
She was shaking me over and over again.
Asking and screaming "Why...!"
In the same night she threatned
To take me to a psychiatrist.

Music XIII

Some calm songs...
The next music post will have calm songs as well
May this help you and make you feel inspired :)







Last one did not allow the copy/incorporate link...
It has a message (L) ,
Although hip hop / rap is honestly not my genre
But it gives me SO much good memories...
So glad to have found it!! :,)

Click to see and hear :
Twista ft Faith Evans - Hope

Tatoos, Piercings and Modifications

Everyone has a diferent opinion on this
I do like certain tattoos in some areas of the body
And personally prefer tattoos with meaning ;

- If I could I would do one tattoo of the symbol "Life"
On my left wrist, a place where harm was made
Even near that spot...plus I have some meanings for it.
More than that... I thought of wings (i'm doubting it now)
And a Key (L) (still with it in my mind (L))

- I do like and support the tattoos
With meaning/message in it.
I do think it is beautiful some, as art.
There are true masterpieces out there! :)

Piercings...yeah I like some.
But for instance I don't imagine getting anything except my ears.
Not into other types of body modification ;

Hair dyes, I like them .
If I could dye my hair any collour,
I would choose a light brown
Otherwise, I'm alright with my natural hair collour
I just dislike my hair length at the moment
But it'll grow out I guess...

Yet freedom of expression...
It is your life, your choices
As long as you are happy and okay with that
It's fine by me.
God bless ^^

domingo, 7 de novembro de 2010

Music XII

That song is old...
Brings me back to good times.



I imagine listening to this one when I travel :)



I started to recently really like this band :o
Fireflight



Suicide - Warning Signs

With searching and knowing too,
- Giving away possessions

- Mentioning death or suicide in any way
(speaking, writing)

- Having destructive behaviors
(for example self harm, bullying others)

- Preparing a will or suicide letter

- Sudden change in behavior

Note : Mental/Health disorders can lead more to suicide
Than people with normal condition....

sábado, 6 de novembro de 2010

Self Esteem II

Family was supposed to help isn't it?
So yesterday night I was already messed up
With those words between me and my sister;
She eventually left and we were to meet again
Besides my grandma
and brother on Sunday are to go to the movies.
I don't feel excited at all, to be honest.

My mom found me almost crying
She decided to ask me what was wrong
So I explained her...
(She used to be so understanding)

I explained how things aren't going exactly
Like what I expected...and like they were told.
I said I, more than anything want to furfill my dreams
Which I don't believe it'll be here.
She said that besides needing the money

I'ld need somewhere to stay and so,
Permitions, vacations...
So don't expect to be there in less time than a year

After that I put my head on the pillow
And what I was saving the whole day inside of me got out
She said "do not bring yourself down"
Petted my head and left.

Self Esteem I

...I thought that things
Were finally going alright ;
And that work would be payed.
Instead she likes to take me to places
Just to see things and such

Then dinner. I don't want to sound ungrateful
In fact, let's say my expectations are broken...
I could have gone home
And have dinner with my "family"
She (sis) says she is
...Trying to get me out of my "vegetable" type of life.
Then I had some other things
That I had to hear and shut up...

She says it is for my own good
And that she is trying to help me ;
Is it? I hear things like :

"You're not entering in the car right ,
You're looking like a corcunda!".

"You're not walking
with your feet straight..."
(Guess what? I was born like this...)

"You're too shy
and embaraced towards people"
;

Believe me , it hurts.
Yesterday we went to the hair salon
Because she wanted to get her hair done
I was trying to be outside
But my sister turned back and told me to get in.
My self esteem lost some points
And broke into pieces.

To be honest, I miss my long hair...I really do....
There I was trying to cover that all ;
I was hours waiting and with this feeling inside of me
A knot in my throat.
I was head down, texting a friend
I wanted to cry my eyes out already.
But I couldn't,
People would notice that obviously...

Night :
Not so famous we had dinner...me and my sister.
At home the neighbors were there again.
My sis went to put my hair straight ;
It looked alright...sort of.
I will have to wait quite some time
For my hair to grow again...

As my hair was a little better than usual
So I asked her if she could take me some pics...
More criticizing regarding the color quality
She said I looked like a zombie in some...
Then that others were alright ;

She told I looked angry...upset...
I told her it was "nothing"
and I kept on listening to music.
I ended up talking with her;

She replied that she...
Was saying those things for my own good
(Really? There are other ways of saying)
And that she didn't wanted for me to made fun of
While we were the two going out (...)

quarta-feira, 3 de novembro de 2010

Music VIII

I love this song +.+!




Letter I

To be honest, I don't know exactly where to start,
Just know that, do not forget...
If I could hug you right now, believe me that I would.
I see how you fear your life failing at something or falling appart

It is a very hard thing for me to write now
It is even more difficult for me to see your suffering.

Well, lets drop the negativity right now...
I know you're broken. I know you're scared and troubled.

The same way you always helped me
Since we started talking on hi5,
A year ago (4-Aug-2009).
I want to help you as supporting you
And make you turn back from what you want to do...

We are meant to get up when we fall
And not stay on the ground.


You have been my best friend for over a year already
We went through a lot, better than anyone you know I suppose.

Are you willing to go and waste your life away?
Leaving all the friends and loved ones behind?

If you will come across this post on your own, good
Otherwise I am considering on showing it to you
Be aware that whatever situation
Or situations making you feel hurt

Are TEMPORARY.
Life is likely to change!
Learn to wait, my best friend
Because when you least expect,
Things can and will get better!

(Yes I am aware that
I might be repeating myself
But it is for you to remember
For your own good)

If it is the Past, drop it
And start building your own future
Stop dwelling, let the ghosts be.


That pain will be over soon, but not the way you want
It seems a attractive choice at times , doesn't it ?
Even to me... and LOOK,
See where I stand now

Because you pulled me back
And made me think
So think if needed.

Read if too, if you want
Or better,
I would apreciate if you read this....

Take care
And stay strong! (>, ")>

Music VII



I found this video amazing...
The way the sea, the waves wash away those words...



They are more about rock
Still they assumed themselves as Christians I believe



At last (but not least)
This one song from this band...
They are Christian (metalcore genre) band
Whoa...

Death or Afterlife

So my question is ...

What do you imagine
Death to be?
Just eternal sleep
Being someone who can watch other people as a spirit?
Afterlife ? Heaven or H?


I am Christian yes.
Again, I respect other beliefs and so.
However the Heaven and Hell part
Are too much mentioned and people say they exist
Without actually some visiting it.
If we go to the logycal part of religion
Then who knows? Are we to believe
Without raising any curious questions?
By that, no offence okay...

Do you think there should be
A place for someone to be blessed for Eternity?
Or another for punishment and suffering?


Isn't our life composed with those both parts?
If so, how come when we die we go to only one place?
If we have and do GOOD and BAD actions
REMARKABLE actions and SINS ?
I believe there should or will be a place
Shaped with what we have done...
Not fully good or perfect...
Not fully evil or punishing...

As for another life?
Why would that even be?
I'ld be happy with One Life well spent. (L)

terça-feira, 2 de novembro de 2010

Path to Happiness

This is my question to you today...
What makes you happy?
Complete or furfilled?
What is the secret of happiness...


Answer :

Complete it yourself.
The answer might be there right away
Or not. It takes time
But when it arrives, it will make sense.
Trust me :)

p.s.: It is somewhat related
To some post I've put
Do not be suspicious about the name
For more info check Depression - Coping
It has sugestions on activities to do
And few websites. Have a nice day :P

segunda-feira, 1 de novembro de 2010

Depression - Coping

A : I already told in some posts of Life blog.
If I only or mostly write
About Depression it is because of me experiencing it
Personally I rather talk
About what I know, as my testimony and point of view
...Than to talk about what I do not know.
For support or websites on this or other disorders
Check out the pages saying
"Info and Support" and "Other Disorders"
May that be somehow helpful. :)

My sugestions!
1. Do the maximum you can to stay away
And avoid the source (or sources) of pain.
Avoid staying at home alone,
It can leave sometimes the person[s] worse

2. Text a friend or message a friend to go out.
Or go out with your family / visit a family member.
p.s. : Choose a calm/peaceful place
If you do not like or do not feel confortable
In crowded places.

If that is not your case...
Why not trying a amusement park/park, circus, zoo
Or going to a concert? :)
There might be good bands out there!


3. You can try gaming events
...Or just playing a game
There are a lot of options
And probably new games out often

4. Another suggestion is art...
Expressing yourself and letting things out
a) Writting a novel, poetry, blog,
Fanfiction, comedy, a script.

Negativity not allowed much,
Appart from that subject is free for you to
We aim for the opposite! :)


b) Going to a theatre or social group/events ;
Drawing, painting, cooking, dancing,
Reading (buying a regular book
Or ebooks...some websites have them
Check if they are free tho)
Singing, shopping, karaokes,
Going to the movie
Or getting popcorns and watching one at home

c) Doing things outside...
Camping, sports and so, like :
(paintball, football, baseball,
ping pong, volley, skatting, tenis,
martial arts, cheerleading, snooker
Going to the mall, beach or swimming pool...)

It's just thinking , searching and choosing
Either with some company or alone
It will be fun,
Believe in yoursef! :D


d) Learning how to play a instrument!

e) Learning a new language!
For example, I am trying Dutch...
Is fun and who knows? It could be useful! :D
Plus there are free lessons online
In some languages or try checking on youtube :)

It just does require some time
To find the right website or websites :)
Or even you can try to learn braile and/or gestual language
Traveling is another sugestion too
If you have time, money and the chance for it.


Useful Links :

+ Instructables
(English,
It has several things from food to jewelry...
Good ideas, it is just exploring the website ^^)

+ Wiki How
(It exist/is available in other languages
Such as spanish, german, french, italian
nederlands(dutch) , "portuguese" ,
and arabic [?} . Another on the same genre)

+ TheChangeBlog
(I've only taken a peek on the website
But seem s high sugestive
Check it if you have the chance!
I personally will, it looks cool...) :D

+ Youtube
(Just decided to put here a direct and clicable link
For you to go there if you want to check some videos)

+ Ebooks.net

+ Best ebook Websites
(English, check this link out
For more info on ebooks)

+ Crafts and Design
(English,
This one is like a green and friendly website
Has a lot of articles about diferent stuff)

+ All Poetry.com
(English,
In case you like to write poetry...
Maybe you will like this website
I will try out this one perhaps
I'll think about it first...)

+ Empiremusicco

+ UltimateSongWritting
(English.
Well these two websites
Speak about lyric writting
And such...if that is your case,
Try to explore those)

+ Avoiding Depression Relapse
(English. This website contains some articles
On sugestions to avoid a relapse/breakdown)

+ Anxiety and Depression Solutions
(English. This is a website with some sugestions
Of coping with depression and other issues;
However, nevermind the big ammount of ads!)

+ YouarethePath
(English. I never tried this, yet it seems a little like
Tapping or something. I would firmly advice you
In case you're interested, to check it
Out of curiosity, without going into
/getting involved in any payments or so)

+ Tapping.com
(English. I never tried this to be honest
So I don't exactly know if this works 100% or not
But the website wil stay here in any case
For you to try it
There are videos and a account on youtube
About it. It is called the EFT .
(Emotional Freedom Technique)
Anyways , good luck :) )

+ Learning Meditation

Note : If I find more websites I will post!
I hope they are helpful for you... :)
p.s.: Sorry for any typos
I am not english nor american.

Depression and Suicide - Myths and Facts

Myths and Facts...

1. Myth : A person that says that is going to commit suicide is seeking for attention
Fact : That one is a old one, in any case DO something about it
Do not sit and wait for anything to happen. Take it seriously !

2. Myth : People with mental disorders are seen as crazy, etc...
Fact : I heard this one myself a couple of times,
It is not a pleasant thing to hear....
We all have troubles in life, some have mental disorders.
As disorders, problems or diseases they have to be treated or controled.
If it is a problem like any other, why SO much judging?

3. Myth : Someone who attempted suicide might not attempt again.
Fact : No, it's not always like that.
A person who attempted suicide
CAN and MIGHT attempt again
You never know.

We particularly have times
When we can be and find ourselves in a stable condition
And then have relapses,
Those triggered by something
(a event, memories) or someone.

Some relapses (also known as breakdowns)
Can be serious and lead people to think incorrectly
And act in impulse!

4. Fact : People who attempt suicide do not want to die
...They just want to end the pain they are feeling
Which is most likely to be temporary.

domingo, 31 de outubro de 2010

Flirting

As you may check in some posts
(Old Fashioned I,II and III)
You can see parcially my point of view.

Again, I can say it :
I am not totally against flirting,
I did it like only once I think....
It's not my style much,
If you read with enough attention.

I am not into temporary much things.
And I have some self respect
So I won't lower my level.
I will not and you won't see me exposing my body
Or intimacy with someone
I do not know or do not have feelings for.
Simply : That's not me.

However, there are persons who flirt
I do not like nor want that in my side
I hate the winkings and almost fake compliments
With second intencions.
If I do not reply with any enthusiasm
Then all it is said
If you cross the limits I will block and delete.
Point done.

Learning to Forgive?

Well... before I write my thoughts on the matter
I want to leave you a question
It is personal at the same time I must add...

If someone hurt you
And you hurt year after year...
Would you be able to put things behind your back
And forgive ?


...My point of View now :
We personally aren't forced to forgive
But I'm not a person of "revenges" and "paybacks"
So I kept it a little inside of me.
I still dwell around this.
I don't say for you to take all the pain out from you
All at once, but slowly starting to forgive

I know it is hard, still until today
I am recovering from self esteem issues
Due to bullying.

I did not cut fully the contact
I had with those classmates
Many went through separate ways
Which is helpful for my recovery
Talking/writing it out is helpful as well
I won't be able to get rid of problems that formed in years
In few sessions/appointments.
I'm trying to get help whenever and wherever I can
I advice you to do the same and to reach for friends
In case anything happens someone will catch you
And hear you.

I am trying to forgive
My religion teaches to forgive
And love. So I'm taking my steps for so.
With due time and support I will do this.
And I believe in you to do the same

p.s.: Any doubt envolving, God , religion and such
Search here :) -
www.gotquestions.org

sábado, 30 de outubro de 2010

Old Fashioned III

As for the relatioships topic...
What she was warning about...
Yes, I can get hurt and heartbroken.
Hurt and used? Possible too, everything is possible
I mean, people can be unpredictable ;

I am old fashioned because I don't want someone
To have fun or a "night stand" with (I have self respect)
I don't go much for flirting either.

Finally...
What I search is for someone with
(I don't say much similar "old fashioned" thinking as I have)
But with good intencions.
I bet no one aims to get hurt (or hurt someone)
But to be happy

Because barriers?
That can gone and over with.
But happiness?

Impossibilities?
They only start and trouble you
And get the best out of you
Once you start believing in
What or who is trying to push you away
From what you want...
Then it is doomed.
Because what you wanted
Was replaced by what others want and tell you!

Finally...
What I search or wait for.
That is why I want to
If possible is to spend and share
My Life with someone
Someone I can share good times
And troubled times with.
My fears and who actually knows me.
Someone I don't have to fake a smile to ;

(Some cute images that I found
Related or not...)





Old Fashioned II

- I haven't had sex
While I was a early teen.
I focused on my studies instead.
There are times for one thing,
Then for anothers too, later.

(I'm not criticizing who did it and such)
I just set some priorities in my life
And that one wasn't amongst them.
I am aware of consequences of it,
Like pregnancy for example
I think people are growing up
Too fast on that... (just my opinion)

- I carry no regrets of the choices I made
And others have the right to choose
Whatever they want to do in their Lives...

- And another things...
Like smoking and drink
I am not against people who drink socially
Nor the ones who drink moderate
In a responsible way in order not to hurt others
Or themselves.
I am only against from the moment people
End up ruining their own lives and others
Out of smoking, drinking and addictions.

- Finally and back to the subject
I am old fashioned, and let me be.
I let know I'm not joking 24/ 7
I let know that I seek for something decent
And good out of my own life.
I say out to whoever knows me
What I want out of my life...
The relationships thoughts I'll leave in another post...

Old Fashioned I

Situation :
Once I was with my sister,
It was a rather "interesting" conversation
As it left me thinking and wondering.

And trust me,
Some convos can be interesting.

She told me even if ...
...I managed to have a relationship with someone
That I wouldn't be/last over two years
With the person (How optimistic... = Irony)

Even handling with the distance,
Which it would be something hard to add.
Then she gave me an example of
Someone who thought about the "forever"
And ended up heartbroken (yes you read right).
So she doesn't believe in any of those
She called me something like "old fashioned"
Because well, today things are rather diferent...

From the other generations,
So be it. I'ld rather have this "old mind" then
It hasn't failed me...

- I haven't grown faster in some aspects of my life
Just in one or two things because I was forced to.
Because I knew if I kept acting as caring as I did
I'ld be trash.

A Letter to Whoever reads...

I might not be fully aware
Of your problems or of your suffering
However I am honest on what I'm writting
And on what I want out of this blog.

Do not ever fear sending a message
Or asking for support.
Asking for help is NOT a weakness.
If you recognize a issue, it is already a step
To recovery.
And no one has the right on judging you on that.

People are there to help
You whetever you choose any of the contacts
I left in the contact page

Or if you decide it is time
To reach out for someone...
I probably do not know everyone
Or any of the persons that see this blog
One rule and what I as for is to be polite.

But one thing I am sure...
For some reason you stepped in here.
You do not want to end your life,
You just want a change...

I know...
You want to be seen
You want to be heard
You want to be appreciated
You want too, a chance to improve.
As someone told me, your time is NOW!


It is your life, your chance.
Your life, the only one we have (that we know of)
p.s.: Only change if necessary,
Not because others tell you to.

And change isn't "getting to something worse"
It can be improving yourself,
As someone dear to me once told me.
So , and finishing this letter
I wish you good luck ! (L)
Keep up the positive thinking :P

(About my writing...
No negative thoughts are allowed in this blog
Except if in certain subjects
Because they have the function
Of making people aware
And to make people learn = lessons
Again, this has no purpose on being triggering
Just a helping blog
Therefore I want to make people feel good while reading)

I wish you good luck
In your life projects and goals.
Thank you for taking the time to read
And too, for some people to be here for me.

Life

quinta-feira, 28 de outubro de 2010

A Letter to Depression

[Part 1]
24/ 7 you are beating me up
I don't know for how long I will hold on this
In fact I'm sick of this...

I don't want you, I never wanted you at all.
If I can handle it?
Falling...
Fading....
This frustrating life...
... ...
A year with you beside me
Has lead me to despair
I don't want it anymore.
I want a cure.... ....
Something to hold me here.
Once and for all.

[Part 2]
I have no energy . No inspiration
It was stolen and taken away...
I know and I miss that smile that I held so easily
I am aware of it. So I ask...what happened?
Is it so foggy ? Why can't reach it...?

What do you want more?
What do you ask for?


Some friends have come and gone
It's not just myself.
But the only thing that is left
You'll never have as long as I keep holding on

....My Life.
I'm sorry but
You won't have it
Nor I'll take it from myself
Without a fight.

Being Used

(For more information check the bullying posts)

We at least once in Life experience
This type of episodes.
I did through out school.

Again, I am ready to talk about this...
Some I remembered on my own
Others my memory recovered along the way
For this I am refering to highschool years.

I was the typical average student
By that I had some school subjects that were dificult
And others that were rather easy and where I felt confortable...
Now, I might have mentioned this....
I would only got asked for help in those subjects where I was better at
On the worst ones they wouldn't do much anything for me
In fact I was left out. Smart ...

From homework, to comparing works
To helping with vocabulary, writing
Even in tests (english) they would ask me for help !
I was less times helped than the times I would help them.
I helped many going through some school subjects.

But I knew I was often being used too...
And that feeling, pardon me to say, it SUCKS.
My rewards? Temporary compliment a little thanks.
But then the situation would be the same...
This in my point of view...

I could have been caught and get through consequences
Now that I think of it, I will ask you :

"Is that...
Worth it?"


I was still sort of a loner and unpopular...
Whenever I helped or not.

Another point :
If I wasn't helping them, they'ld be all mad
And would talk/comment about me.
Badly? Yes.

Even if I wasn't that okay....
Few would help me (1 or 2 out of 20!)
And today someone reached me for help
(In fact two persons)

However, I am not forced to help someone
Specially when that certain person
Only contacted me to help her with a work
By that sending her MY final work.

You may think what you want but it is not fair
Reminding that that certain person
Threatened me and used me in the past.

Then you may say..."Forgive".
Yes I am Christian but I'm no saint.
I am not forced to go through similar situations.
I can but I am not forced to forgive
And it was a lot of damage
...So it will take its time to go away
And to be fully forgiven, not forgotten.

segunda-feira, 25 de outubro de 2010

Recovery I

I did not make this blog in vain…
I did not make this blog
without reasons or purpose.
I’m not talking as the person
Who tells to “snap out” of it
I’m talking as the person who has it.


My opinion on possible recovery for depression
Don't go 100% for meds.
Unless it is really serious.

(Which in my case I am starting
To believe it is mild and
I can try and do this)

Seek a psychologist for a start
Or phone numbers
(More about it check the page called Info and Support
I will activate the links soon :) )

Therefore I would like to ask you something:
Do not answer here (or answer only if you want)
What is distressing you?
What is the source of the pain?

I once saw this video…it had wise words
It was basically,
What is hurting and bothering you,
Cut it from the root OR speak it out.
I know. I know…extreme.

A point…
- If a friend is hurting you, if someone is bothering you
Why you are even waste your time talking with him/her?

- If someone online is insulting you...
Block, delete. Close or change account if necessary.

- If someone is tormenting you on the phone…
Delete the messages, report it or change number
But please do not let it build inside of you.
Focus on what is trying to make you feel better
On things you did/still enjoy or try finding new hobbies.

Search for new friends;
Do not forget
The good, true old friends

You can do it.
Organizations and social group places
Or even a good hobby can be a fresh start.
It can open doors and allow you to meet people.

Meeting people can be good and healthy ;
I mentioned about it
On my post Beyond Reason I.
I joined a church group.
I’ve been welcomed there like I never was before
And before I was a loner,
I was a what people call outcast.
I am not ashamed of saying this.
I want YOU to know this example.

Because if I do and will beat this, you will too.
I know cases of people who beat this and are ALIVE
And believe me that they (as I am) are glad to be alive.
You will get through this! :P

Besides the fact that I know if I fall,
I won’t stand alone.
I will get up, I have support.
Someone will try and catch me.

God if you want to put religion on this as well.
And you?
You will have people
And you are mostly welcome
To read this blog anytime. (L)

Depression and Attempts

Don't let your memories
Break you...
...Stay with me


To whoever is considering anything,
Don't do it!

Take this advice and take time to read this :
Probably because if it fails
It'll leave you in a worst shape
(Depending on the method too)

Than what you were before.
You will regret it.
People's reactions
And attitudes will change towards you.
Trust might be really, deeply affected.

(For more info read "Depression and Suicide"
To know my point of view about it)

Life is too precious to be wasted
And thrown away.

Hold on day by day.
I am speaking as someone
Who thought in detail about these things
Such as death. I didn't want to be sad anymore,

I wanted to die.
(Or was I too anxious for the pain to end?
Ask yourself)

I thought, method by method.
I planned...without anyone knowing.
So I searched…and searched…
And bam! Wake up call.

Flash news : They are all painful,
There isn't a painless suicide ;
Because for death to occur, there is needed
PAIN...enough to make vital or important organs
To fail and shut down.
Enough for the defenses the body has...
To break.

Don't go for the illusion that they aren't!
Don't go for the illusion that people don't care
Because they DO!


And you don't need to put yourself
In delicate situations
You don't need to bleed...
You don't need to be hospitalized.

Or go through near death experiences for that.
If you have the chance,
Listen to "Hold On" by Good Charlotte.
My bestie dedicated this song to me...
Thank you, you rock! (L)
Music does speak indeed....

It takes more guts to keep on living
...A sh*tty life in your eyes.
Than to end it. Your parents, your family members
Your siblings (if that’s your case) will suffer.
With every cut, with every try,
With every scratch
Or self inflicted burns on your skin.

You’re like a piece that cannot be replaced .
You’re one of a kind .

DO NOT destroy yourself.
So drop the razors, drop the knives, pills...
Throw them or give them away
To make sure you won’t use them
In those times go out.
Seek help. Somewhere.

domingo, 24 de outubro de 2010

Music IV

A special song for a special person
Singing cover by me,
Original song by Red called Pieces



This song is A.m.a.z.i.n.g.!
It says a lot... (L)



I don't think they're Christian
But this is a cool song from them (L)



This one too...
Fell in love with this song xD
Listen closely :,)



"Don't look down
Don't look back
I am beside you (...)
We will find a way to erase the past
Stay with me
In my arms you'll be fine
I'll never let go"

Music V



Beyond Reason II

I felt like I could talk and open up,
I got to know more and new people.
And amongst the people
...I found my best friend !

Who was happy to see me.
She smiled and we hugged eachother.
I met another person, then.
We talked. She took me to the bathroom.

There stood a mirror on the wall...
Another chalenge...
She said I had to convince myself
That I was pretty
(I have and had problems with self esteem and such)
So she told me to look at the mirror, closely.

She said :
"There I see a beautiful girl!
A girl who is capable of things
A girl with a purpose
And whose life is going to get better
I know it!
And you have to believe in it
(Along other things...)"

She said then to say that
"I was thankful to God for being that beautiful"
And I got shy... until I said it.
She told me to do that every day.
They say they want to help me
Without asking anything much in return
Or anything at all.

They added that I will have a purpose.
I will be sucessful in Life
That I must believe in Him (...)
I felt a little better afterwards.

Just know that I am trying to pick up
The pieces of my Life...
Not to fear a possible Future
And not to be SO afraid of Loving someone
Or even of being Loved...
The reason that has been blocking me...
From loving someone
Is a big nearly unexplainable fear


...Beyond perhaps reason itself.
I can't be defeated.
I can't allow this to take the best of me.
I can't give up and put things to waste.

It was a good experience
I intend on going there more often
They are expecting me to appear more too...
Tomorrow perhaps.

In the end me and my best friend left
We talked more and then
Went through separate ways
I will go there tomorrow again. (L)

Life Blog supports... Causes and People !